Fairly soon after New Year’s Day, the stores will be stocked with hearts, chocolates, and more. Cards will fill shelves. Jewelers will advertise on TV, social media, and other places for men to get that something special for the woman in their lives. Blog articles will be posted, listing the best romantic comedies from the 80s.
Our whole culture organizes itself around major holidays, and Valentine’s Day on February 14th is no different. Over time, traditions have arisen to include gifts, dinners, and more to celebrate the worldly idea of romantic love.
Living in America, Valentine’s Day was normal. In elementary school, we purchased candy and little cards for the whole class to wish them a happy day. My kids’ high school sells carnations or roses to give to their main squeeze or potential dates.
The Bible speaks a great deal about love. God defines himself by love. Our society and consumerism might not be a trustworthy source to learn about God’s love, however. Christian freedom includes looking at these traditional holidays critically, seeking truth and meaning while engaging the culture with wisdom.
Who Was St. Valentine?
St. Valentine was a Christian priest (possibly a bishop) in the 3rd Century AD, during the pre-Christian Roman Empire under Emperor Claudius II. Several individuals from the period were named Valentine and were Christian martyrs, but church tradition accepts the story of the most famous, who later became known as a saint.
According to tradition, Valentine refused to obey the emperor’s command that banned young men from getting married. Emperor Claudius thought single men would make better soldiers, and the Roman legions proved central to imperial power. So he outlawed marriage for young people. Valentine believed in the sacred institution of biblical marriage, and he started secretly performing weddings for couples. When the emperor found out, Rome arrested Valentine.
Valentine didn’t waste his time in prison. He befriended the jailer and his daughter, supposedly praying for her and miraculously restoring her sight. Rome sentenced Valentine to execution, and on the night before his death, he sent the jailer’s daughter a note signed, “from your Valentine.” This inspired later action to write notes in his name.
Rome executed Valentine sometime around 269 AD, probably by beheading, for the crime of refusing to renounce his faith and cease his Christian ministry. Under Rome, the official religion recognized many gods, including the emperor, as divine, which Christianity directly preached against.
Over the years, the church continued to honor Valentine as a martyr for Christ. As commonly happened with leaders of the early church, legends about his love and resistance grew, making it difficult today to separate fact from possible exaggeration.
The Catholic Church canonized Valentine due to his compassion, love, miracles, and faithfulness to Jesus, even unto death. Pope Gelasius I officially determined February 14th as St. Valentine’s Day in 496 AD.
How Did Valentine’s Day Become a Holiday?
As Rome accepted Christianity, at least officially, the culture adjusted and changed with it. Pagan cultures often had their own traditions around marriage and finding partners. Rome had a festival to celebrate fertility and the coming of spring. Sometimes couples would pair off through lotteries, leading to marriage. However, as we’ve already seen, the Roman idea of marriage differed from the Christian model.
Christianity spread, and St. Valentine had a reputation for standing for the biblical standard of marriage. The Roman pagan festival became history, but other traditions emerged. By the Middle Ages, February 14th was associated with birds mating, and writers like Geoffrey Chaucer wrote about romantic love in connection with Valentine’s Day. In 18th-century England and France, people exchanged handwritten notes and other signs of affection on Valentine’s Day.
Europeans settled America and brought their traditions with them, including the traditions surrounding Valentine's Day. The United States' capitalism and consumerism took the holiday and further secularized and commercialized it. The greeting card industry and other markets found ways to encourage romantic love around Valentine’s Day. At the same time, romantic literature and films through the 20th century further developed our modern ideas of romance and dating. Altogether, this helped Valentine’s Day evolve into what it has become today.
People around the world now celebrate Valentine’s Day focused on romantic love. Couples exchange cards, flowers, candy, and go on dates. Heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and smaller candies with fun sayings on them dominate the holiday. Some use the holiday to express love to friends and family.
Should Christians Celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Christians are free to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but we should also use wisdom in doing so. While the day claims to honor love, the worldly idea differs from the biblical standard, as Valentine understood. Roman sexuality was far more permissive in Valentine’s day, and his stance for marriage was more than just romantic love. He fought and died for a sacred institution reflecting the eternal love of God, expressed in the union of man and wife.
Today’s celebration of love focuses on an emotional, happiness-driven version of love, one of personal fulfillment and attraction. The Greeks had a whole different word for this kind of love, eros, which is more like lust and is where we get the term erotic. This proves the most immature and insecure type of love, a distant concept from the agape love of God. Current culture continues to push the “feeling” mode of love to include and celebrate any sexual attraction as a basic human right, the most animalistic of ideas, ironically.
Scripture defines love not as a feeling but as an intentional, self-sacrificial choice to act for another’s eternal good. John 3:16 describes this abundant love for why the Father sent the Son, to give eternal life instead of perishing. Jesus is the ultimate expression of love. Paul gives a famous definition for agape, divine love in 1 Corinthians 13, an active love—patient, kind, selfless. Love bears all things and never fails.
Marriage began before the Fall, with Adam and Eve, and Genesis uses the perfect, original model as the continued purpose in marriage (Genesis 2:24). In the New Testament, Jesus and the apostles equate marriage with the sacred, a testimony to the love of God. Christian marriage has a far higher purpose than personal fulfillment or happiness. The apostle Paul explains how the husband and wife represent the eternal relationship between God and his people (Ephesians 5:31-32). The new Jerusalem, where God dwells with his people, becomes the Bride with Christ as husband on the new earth (Revelation 21:2).
With this context, we should also note that the Bible does include romantic love between a man and woman, with a purpose and eternal meaning. The Song of Solomon presents romantic love within covenant marriage. First comes the spiritual, covenantal commitment, then the couple rightly enjoys the physical and emotional intimacy and security marriage provides. Scripturally, passion is a gift, not a god to worship. Other biblical stories—like Jacob’s service to marry Rachel or Ruth’s relationship with Boaz—reveal romance with faith, honor, and loyalty.
Modern culture often idolizes romance, but that puts it in place of God. Christians can celebrate Valentine’s Day but must approach it with the opportunity to reveal God’s love in marriage and salvation.
What Are Some Bible Verses About Love and Sacrifice?
Within God’s design, love and sacrifice are inseparable. True love gives, serves, and lays down the self for the eternal good of others, revealed through the person of Christ. Here are some Bible verses that speak to true love:
- “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13) Jesus spoke these words to his disciples the night before his death, proving his love for them personally and the whole of humanity through his willing crucifixion and resurrection.
- “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (John 4:10) God loves first. As Creator, he loved before we knew him, and in our distress, he acted with compassion to rescue us from sin and death through his sacrifice.
- “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) God didn’t wait for our repentance; he died for us while we lived in rebellion against him. He generously sacrifices to reach out to us in our brokenness and sin.
- In Philippians 2:3-8, Paul calls us to imitate Jesus’ humility as we relate to one another. Christ “made Himself nothing… becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Our right response to God’s love for us is to model the same to others.
- “Walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:2) For us, love means continually living as an example of serving others for their eternal good, even at cost to ourselves.
We can find even more verses about God’s love here.
How Can We Honor God’s Love on Valentine’s Day?
While many may celebrate Valentine’s Day from a skewed idea of love, we don’t need to reject the holiday or judge others who participate in it. Instead, we can use the holiday as an opportunity to spread God’s love to others. People feel drawn to the promise of love within Valentine’s Day because we live in a broken world where there is so much hurt and so much wrong. The worldly love will disappoint. Perhaps we should use the day to celebrate love that truly satisfies the soul.
A practical way to honor God’s love would be by reaching out to those who feel abandoned or forgotten. While many celebrate their dates and relationships, a host of others experience deep loneliness and rejection. Writing a note, a text, or giving a gift can give encouragement and share the true comfort found in Christ. Think of people like widows, single parents, or someone in the hospital. These acts of kindness make a huge difference.
Couples can honor God by participating in spiritual activities, like praying. Christian marriage is a partnership to be on God’s mission together for the Kingdom. Rather than only going on a date, take time to thank God for your relationship and seek ways to deepen a unified commitment to God and ministry. Discuss passages like 1 Corinthians or Ephesians 5 to infuse the marriage with godly character.
Families can make Valentine’s Day about God’s love, as well. Parents can write love cards for their kids, pointing them to Jesus. Kids could make notes or letters for grandparents, teachers, or others to show generosity and exemplify how love seeks to bless others.
For singles, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a sad occasion, thinking about what we don’t have. It can become a celebration of God’s abundant love through worship, journaling, or service. Churches might organize these service projects and highlight the community as the collective Bride of Christ, using Valentine’s Day to spread hope for the eternal future in God.
No matter our relationship status, we can make Valentine’s Day a way to reveal the love that never fails, honoring our Father as vessels of his grace to a world starving for something real.
Peace.
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