We know that flared tempers can lead to arguments, disagreements, and hurtful words. We also know that a soft answer turns away wrath and that God wants us to love one another and share His love with His creations.
So does the advice that a soft answer turns away wrath come from the Bible or is it a paraphrase of its ideas?
Does the Bible Really Say 'A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath'?
The phrase "A soft answer turns away wrath" appears in the Old Testament book of Proverbs:
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1 NIV)
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a proverb as a “brief popular epigram or maxim: adage.” Another definition is “a short saying that expresses a universal truth for practical, godly living.” The book of Proverbs is filled with insightful instructions and words of wisdom. We may have knowledge, but that knowledge is useless without wisdom.
Proverbs share that how we respond to others may be how they respond to our words and actions. We can stay calm or react with anger and wrath in every interaction.
Who Wrote 'A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath'?
Solomon (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit) wrote the majority of the book of Proverbs, although Agur and Lemuel contributed to the later sections. The wise sayings were directed to the people of Israel yet filled with universal wisdom.
Although Solomon was a wealthy and accomplished man, his life was filled with turmoil. Some turmoil began before he was born. His father, King David, had an affair with a married woman, Bathsheba, then ordered her husband to be killed to hide the scandal. Bathsheba’s first child with David died, and Solomon was born later.
Shortly after Solomon became king, the Lord appeared to him in a dream and allowed him to ask for anything he desired. Solomon could have asked for material things—more wealth or other prideful possessions. But, he asked for discernment and understanding to lead the people. God was pleased with Solomon and gave him an understanding heart, honor, and wealth.
However, Solomon made some poor choices. He had multiple wives and allowed them to build altars to pagan gods, spreading idolatry throughout Israel.
Solomon reminds us that God knows everything about the wicked and the good. We are never hidden from God. Solomon’s sinful actions were an attempt to fulfill his desires. He was gifted with wisdom but didn’t always make the best choices.
“The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.” (Proverbs 15:3 NIV)
Yet, even with Solomon’s life full of conflicts and mistakes, God loved him.
Does 'A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath' Mean Christians Can’t Use Confrontation?
There will be troubled times—in the past, present, and future. Jesus tells us we will have troubles, but we can rest knowing He has overcome the world. His statement reminds us that this earthly life is not our eternal home. Trials and tribulations will come and go. How we handle those times can lead us and others to a relationship with God or lead us and others astray.
The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy and shared wisdom about quarrels in his second letter. Paul instructed that the Lord’s servant must not quarrel but show kindness to everyone. Even opponents are to be given gentle instructions, with the hope that God will grant them repentance, leading to knowledge of the truth.
Christians are instructed to love one another. Then, how should we handle a situation where we are confronted with wrath? What if a person confronts us with harsh words and threats? Yes, there are times when professional help should be included in the conversation or situation. Should we confront another person? How do we know when to speak and when to stay silent?
The answer is found in prayer. Pray first and ask God to give wisdom for the conversation. There may be times when a person should be confronted privately. Perhaps a misunderstanding can be discussed, and the outcome can be positive.
However, what happens when a one-on-one chat doesn’t resolve the issue? Christians are called to take one or two other believers and converse with the person with whom there is conflict. This method is found in the Old Testament, requiring more than one person to support a charge (Deuteronomy 17:1).
Paul tells of one believer who had been accused of immoral behavior. Paul advised the Corinthians to remove the person from the church family. When the person had truly changed their behavior, they were accepted back into the church.
“I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” (2 Corinthians 2:8)
Scripture included numerous examples of exhorting people to make better choices. Examples appear in passages (which you’ve probably seen imprinted on note cards, memes, posters, bumper stickers, and other places).
- “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)
- “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16 NIV)
- “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” (Isaiah 26:3-4 NIV)
- “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6 NIV)
- “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 5:9 NIV)
How Did Jesus Use 'A Soft Answer to Turn Away Wrath'?
While our first instinct may be to confront, argue, or defend a position, answering wrath with softness, gentleness, and kindness may lead to a positive outcome.
Scripture shares how Jesus handled discord.
Jesus often used a soft answer to turn away wrath. When Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, he did not go immediately to Bethany to heal him. After a few days, Jesus reached Bethany and was met by Martha and Mary, who were distraught over the death of their brother. The sisters told Jesus that Lazarus would have lived if He had been there.
Instead of arguing with the sisters, Jesus asked to see the grave. Jesus commanded the stone to be rolled away from the tomb, and then He prayed.
God was glorified as Lazarus was raised from the dead. Jesus performed a miracle.
Jesus was the topic of an argument between the disciples. They wanted to know which one of them would be the greatest. Jesus, with a soft answer and calmness, had a child stand beside him. Jesus shared with the group that whoever welcomed that little child welcomed Him, and whoever welcomed Jesus also welcomed the One who sent Him.
Jesus always showed love and compassion. His example is the one Christians are called to follow.
How Can We Practice 'A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath' Today?
With news reports, social media, gossip, false advertising, and other methods of delivering information (and many potential ways to miscommunicate), the ability to become angry and depressed faces people everywhere. With road rage incidents at an all-time high and theft, selfishness, and other destructive behaviors rising, Christians can find comfort in having the tools to combat bad with good.
- Pray and ask God to provide a humble heart for everyone involved in conflict. Ask Him to give guidance.
- Pause and take a breath before reacting. Sometimes, silence is best.
- Listen and obtain the facts. Respond to anger with humility.
- Don’t try to fix every problem.
- Set an example for others by showing the love of Christ in the way we handle our anger and the anger of others.
When we respond with kindness and compassion, our love for God shines. Kindness, humility, and compassion can change the world. A smile, a considerate act, a prayer, and a soft answer can turn away wrath. How can you give a soft answer today?
In His Name,
Melissa Henderson
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/PeopleImages
Melissa is the author of Licky the Lizard and Grumpy the Gator. Her passions are helping in the community and church. Melissa is an Elder, Deacon, and Stephen Minister.
Follow Melissa on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and at http://www.melissaghenderson.
This article is part of our larger resource library of popular Bible verse phrases and quotes. We want to provide easy to read articles that answer your questions about the meaning, origin, and history of specific verses within Scripture's context. It is our hope that these will help you better understand the meaning and purpose of God's Word in relation to your life today.
No Rest for the Wicked
Fight the Good Fight
Wait on the Lord
With Contrite Heart and Spirit
Faith Can Move Mountains
