Key Points
- Working moms often face pressure to prove themselves after having a baby, especially when returning to the workplace after time away.
- The “motherhood penalty” describes the workplace disadvantages some mothers experience, while fatherhood is often viewed more positively.
- Christian working moms are called to reject fear, bitterness, and the pressure to perform, and to trust in God’s grace instead.
- Faith can help women work with purpose, confidence, and love rather than striving for approval or fearing others’ opinions.
- Christian men and coworkers can support working moms by noticing their contributions, making space for their gifts, and choosing humility and love.
Coming face to face with going back to work, after having a baby, according to Axios’ latest article titled, “Motherhood's Costly Rewards”, often means coming face to face with needing to prove oneself to colleagues. Without knowing exactly what to expect, or what others may think, women in these shoes increasingly find “FOPO” sets in, the fear of other people’s opinions. For Christian working moms, the pressure to prove themselves after having a baby is real, but God offers a better way forward through faith, grace, love, and support from others.
Why Working Moms Feel Pressure After Having a Baby
What happens to women returning to the workforce after having a baby? Likely trying to acclimate to a new environment and perhaps overcompensating to make up for time missed, their tendency is to seek perfection while missing the company's overall strategic direction. These women find they lack a big vision and become “worker-bees” rather than company visionaries. This is a problem. Head-down, the woman works hard but is often less heard on overall strategic objectives. She may get things done, but flies under the radar because she spends time in her cubby hole, head down and working hard. All the while, she may fear that in the pursuit and the pressure of doing a great job, the joy of doing her job is lost. More than how others see her, she likely perceives herself as one needing to catch up so as not to be seen as one who is behind. This adds stress. There is a social burden on her back, almost constantly.
What Is the Motherhood Penalty?
Working moms lose time in the office due to childbirth and feel a pressing need to catch up. Sociologists call this the “Motherhood Penalty.” Fatherhood, on the other hand, is seen as an asset, something honored and proving the man’s character in the office. While women may want to hide that they need to leave early for their child’s events, fathers promote this fact and are rewarded with better performance reviews, opportunities, and value (sociologists call this “The Fatherhood Premium”).
How Should Christians Respond to the Pressure on Working Moms?
There are two attitudes prevalent in today's society that prove detrimental: bitterness and offense. We cannot fall into either trap. We don’t operate from anger; we operate in love. Plus, the truth is – our fight is not against each other. It is often against something greater – powers and spiritual forces that extend far beyond the man or woman before or above us in the workplace.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” - Eph. 6:12 NKJV
What is critical to avoid is partnering with outrage. Outrage causes fights, attacking and victim mindsets. Jesus did not leave us as victims; He left us with a powerful Savior and with authority to effect change from a standpoint of love. We are powerful, not left under a structure that leaves us powerless. We are purposeful, not without agency to help others in need. Knowing this is life-giving and separates us from the world’s mindsets.
The fight is NOT man versus woman. It is also NOT a woman-versus-the-structural-business-world. The fight is in each of our hearts to do what is right in God’s sight while avoiding the snares of the enemy. Hardly ever has anyone won a workplace battle from the position of anger, a charged attitude, or an offended nature. Most of us recoil from a bitter person and usually cannot even hear what they are saying. Their caustic nature closes our ears. In this, wisdom turns from offense and walks out in love individually, to see change happen collectively. Women do their part and men do theirs.
Here, the needle moves – first by the power of Christ, rather than by the demands of the world. If we, as Christians, don’t effect change, there often is a blowback effect in the world, where a move is made apart from God that enforces the change Christians, as individuals, could have stood for. If we don’t take a stand in love, the world will take a stand, from its own standpoint. May we be the agents of love, first, before the world has to step in.
How Can Christian Working Moms Overcome the Pressure to Prove Themselves?
First, as women, we can start by believing in both God and ourselves as we re-enter the workplace. The fear of other people’s opinions (“FOPO”) feels real, but most of the time, it is just a figment of our imagination. We must handle this fear on our own. When we take a second and laugh at the thought that we have something to prove, suddenly, we don’t have to prove anymore. Doing this is powerful. We can remember: God will prove us, just like he proved Jesus…
Jesus was tempted by the devil to prove his worth, his identity, and his power in the wilderness (Mt. 4:1-11). Jesus did not accept this demonic call. He did not agree with the voice that tried to get Him to fear that: 1. He was not enough. 2. He needed to prove who He really was. 3. His proving would produce a greater outcome than His trust in His Father would. Jesus used the word of God to bring to mind the truth so that he could stand firm in the calling of God for his life. This was an effective thought-management technique. Likewise, as we trust like Jesus, as we ditch proving, we make way for resurrection-life power results as Jesus saw.
Our work = our results.
His work through us = His results.
We can come out of pressure and performance mindsets through the power of God's grace. Grace is God's empowerment to help us. It works just as much in our lives in the office as it did when Esther found herself in the palace, a simple woman with a God-given mission to bring life to the Jewish people. God has equipping, enabling, and empowering grace for those willing to rely on it and for those willing to ditch fear. Esther did that, and so can we.
How? We choose to “be still and know that He is God” (Ps. 46:10). We remind ourselves that God Himself will prove us and help us. In this, we can lift our head and see more strategically and powerfully, without fearing the minutiae of work. God sees us. God knows our space. God understands how much rests on a woman's shoulders. God knows the unique situation we are in. He is not only able, but He is powerful to help us. The Holy Spirit is a helper. He is effective at that job. Moreover, prayers work more wonders than any worker-bee, head-down, striving mentality ever will. Ask God for what you need. And keep love front-and-center. God will make room for us, as we trust Him.
“A person’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great people.” - Prov. 18:16
As a woman, you have something to bring to that workspace. As much as you might bring a tangible gift to someone, understand the unique gifting set that God Himself has given you. Don’t hold back. That gift will bring you into the presence of great people. It is an asset to your workplace.
- If it is speaking, then speak.
If it is mentoring others in the office, do that.
If it is accounting, go be the best accountant that you are and enjoy His gifting.
Don’t be afraid to shine your light. God will make a way for you. But keep your heart soft, unoffendable, and willing to move as he leads you, outside divisive, victimizing arguments.
How Can Christian Men Support Working Moms?
Jesus said, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Mt. 24:40)
To see a woman in need and to help her actually -- ministers unto Jesus. The magnitude of an act like this is weighty. It is felt by the King of Kings. How can you help a woman who may be struggling in fear? Face down? Not advancing because she is stuck in the weeds? How can you help make a way for her? How can you move her out of penalty mode because you give a premium to her worth and role? Choose to do this, not because you are driven by a political thing, or giving in to people with loud voices, but from a standing point, a heart of love. Do this because of the generosity of Christ that has been afforded to you…
God gives grace to the humble, and He opposes the proud (Ja. 4:6). Be humble, as you give space to those who may be struggling around you, and God will meet you with His grace. Truth is, no one truly knows what it is like to be in the shoes of a working woman. They don’t know her whys. They don’t know the history that put her in this place and the call of God on her life. They haven’t spent a day in her shoes or inside of her unique story. All the same, they can choose to bear up under, to show love, to make a way, to encourage, to promote, to see her struggle. They can be generous-hearted in the workplace. They can even prefer her above themselves…
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another…” - Ro. 12:10 KJV
As they prefer her in love, they are really preferring and ministering unto Jesus. This is weighty.
How Christians Can Bring Love and Change into the Workplace
Christians are the greatest change-agents in the world. We are the ones with the backing of the King of Kings behind us. We are the ones with the power of God, working for us. We are the ones who have the greatest weapon ever in our pocket – love. When we see the least of these and help them, we shine a bright light into the workplace that says, “God cares. God, working through me, sees the least of these. You matter.” When colleagues see a woman trusting God and working wholeheartedly unto the Lord, they think, “There is something about her that is different. She doesn’t strive to be seen. She isn’t under the pressure of the workplace, but she still works with all her heart.” In this, we testify to a broken world, a greater picture, a heavenly template – and this becomes noteworthy in an offended and a bitter world.
Don’t discount your small part – as you do your part. It matters, and it makes a difference. When working moms are strengthened by God’s grace and supported by believers who choose love, the workplace can become a place where faith, dignity, and compassion are clearly seen.
Frequently Asked Questions about Working Moms
- What pressures do working moms face after having a baby?
Working moms may feel pressure to prove themselves, catch up after time away, manage others’ opinions, and balance workplace expectations with family responsibilities. - What is the motherhood penalty?
The motherhood penalty refers to the workplace disadvantage some mothers experience when childbirth or caregiving affects how others perceive their availability, commitment, or advancement potential. - How can Christian working moms handle the pressure to prove themselves?
Christian working moms can remember that God sees them, equips them, and gives grace for their work. They can reject fear, pray for wisdom, and work faithfully without striving for approval. - How can men support working moms in the workplace?
Men can support working moms by noticing their contributions, making space for their gifts, encouraging their growth, showing humility, and choosing love over pride or indifference. - What does faith change about workplace pressure?
Faith helps Christians respond to workplace pressure with love, prayer, wisdom, humility, and trust in God rather than bitterness, offense, fear, or competition.
For Further Reading
- 5 Lies Women Believe about Their Role in Their Jobs
- Can Christian Women Work Outside the Home?
- A Biblical View of Work and Worth
- How to Stop Worrying and Start Trusting God
- What Does “Whatever You Do to the Least of These” Mean?
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