On the small scale, toxic people cause minor annoyances. On the larger scale, they steal hope and joy. We all know this is how toxic people behave. But what does the Bible say about toxic people? Does it define toxicity the way we do today? Do we rebuke toxic people or accept them? Do we need to forgive them?
How Do We Define Toxic People?
To answer “What does the Bible say about toxic people?” we first must define toxic people. “Toxic people” is a more recent term. So, the Bible does not use the exact term, even in modern English paraphrases like The Message.
However, the Bible does describe people with toxic traits
Matthew 7:3-5 talks about hypocrites. This may be the first thing that comes to mind for many when thinking of toxic people.
Similarly, the Bible has lots to say about hateful or unloving people. Ephesians 4:31 states, “Never be bitter, angry, or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil.”
Toxic people never fail to say hurtful things. They are also unkind, unloving, and unforgiving, which goes against Ephesians 4:32.
Luke 6:27-28 discusses people who are generally mean, hate others, and desire bad things to happen to others.
Romans 12:14 talks about those who treat others badly.
Matthew 5:39-41 warns about those who want to harm, hit, sue, steal from, or force hardship on others.
Second Timothy 3:2-4 talks about those who insult others and indulge in loveless, cruel, and unforgiving behavior; talk about others to hurt them; and turn against their friends.
Psalms 109 describes David’s enemies who hated David even though he loved them.
First Peter 3:9 talks about people who insult and do wrong to others.
What Traits Do Toxic People in the Bible Have?
The Bible relates toxicity with anger. Ephesians 4:31 says never to be bitter, angry, mad, or shout angrily. So, people who fail never to do those things could be considered toxic. Proverbs 22:24-25 states, “Don’t be friends with people who become angry easily. Don’t stay around quick-tempered people.” So, people who become easily angry and quick-tempered could be considered toxic.
The Bible gives many more examples to define toxic people. It talks about people who commit slander, are contentious and argumentative, are divisive, and are scoffers.
These people ruin good habits (1 Corinthians 15:33).
They cannot sleep until they do evil or rest until they bring someone down; their food and drink are evil and violence (Proverbs 4:16-17).
They are troublemakers who always cause problems and gossip (Proverbs 16:28).
They love only themselves and money; disobey their parents; refuse to let devotion to God change their lives; boast about themselves; and are proud, ungrateful, against all that is pleasing to God, and fake (2 Timothy 3:2-5).
What Does the Bible Say about Rebuking Toxic People?
To rebuke is to give sharp criticism or disapproval.
That being said, what does the Bible say about toxic people with rebuking? First, there is a clear warning about times not to do it. Matthew 7:3-5 states,
“Why do you notice the small piece of dust that is in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood that is in your own? Why do you say to your friend, ‘Let me take that piece of dust out of your eye’? Look at yourself first! You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye. You are a hypocrite! First, take the wood our of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to get the dust out of your friend’s eye.”
Before we even consider rebuking anyone, we must enter personal detox. We must examine ourselves to ensure we are not even more toxic than those we want to rebuke. This is especially true if we struggle with toxic positivity—being glib and offering cheap answers about “staying positive,” which makes it easy to rebuke people for selfish reasons. We should not be hypocritical.
Romans 12:19 states, “My friends, don’t try to punish anyone who does wrong to you. Wait for God to punish them with his anger.” In other Scriptures, the Lord says, “I am the one who punishes; I will pay people back.’” (Deuteronomy 32:25)
Ultimately, God will handle justice for all sins. Therefore, we must recognize that we are not responsible for rebuking everyone—it may come later from someone else. Vengeance is for God, not us. We must remember that rebuke can easily become about getting the vengeance we are tempted to give ourselves. Therefore, we should proceed cautiously.
Rebuking can also be unloving and unkind. It has the potential to combine bitterness, anger, and hurtful words—all things that Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us are wrong. When we talk, we should always be kind (Colossians 4:6), but rebuking is potentially unkind.
First Peter 3:9 states, “Don’t do wrong to anyone to pay them back for doing wrong to you. Or don’t insult anyone to pay them back for insulting you. But ask God to bless them. Do this because you yourselves were chosen to receive a blessing.” According to this verse, we should not pay anyone back for doing wrong to us. Rebuking can easily descend into this.
However, there is an alternative to harsh rebuking. Matthew 18:15-17 is about what to do if a Christian does something wrong. The passage says that we should begin by privately telling the wrongdoer what they did was wrong. If the person refuses to listen, we should do the same thing but with two or three other people with us. If the person still refuses to listen, we should tell the church. If the person refuses to listen to the church, we should treat the person as a non-Christian.
Does the Bible Say We Need to Forgive Toxic People?
The Bible says that we should forgive everyone who harms us, which includes toxic people.
Forgiving toxic people is good. More specifically, it is loving kindness. Luke 6:27 states, “But I say to you people who are listening to me, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.” This does not necessarily mean that we have to keep toxic people in our lives. But to the extent our lives intersect with them, we should love and do good to toxic people.
Ephesians 4:32 states, “Be kind and loving to each other. Forgive each other the same as God forgave you through Christ.” Forgiving toxic people is being kind and loving to them. We are also following Jesus’ example by forgiving them. Parts of the fruit of the Spirit are love, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness (Galatians 5:22). Forgiveness involves all of these things.
First Corinthians 13:4 states, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud.” Again, patience, kindness, and love are brought up, which are involved in forgiveness.
Colossians 3:12-14 says,
“God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others. Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Don’t be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If you feel someone has wronged you, forgive them. Forgive others because the Lord forgave you. Together with these things, the most important part of your new life is to love each other. Love is what holds everything together in perfect unity.”
Forgiving toxic people is showing mercy to them. It is also being kind, gentle, and patient. Forgiveness is a direct command here. It is love, which is one of the most important parts of being a Christian.
Forgiving toxic people is also peaceful. Matthew 5:9 states, “Great blessings belong to those who work to bring peace. God will call them his sons and daughters.” Forgiving toxic people is working to bring peace.
Romans 12:18 says, “Do the best you can to live in peace with everyone.” Forgiving toxic people is trying to live in peace with those people.
Wise correction is loving, though. When we gently correct those who are sinning or unknowingly hurting others, we are trying to help those people out of their sin. This correction is loving because it is attempting to help them be less sinful and more righteous, potentially closer to God.
Trust does not necessarily have to go hand in hand with forgiveness. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we should trust toxic people. We should forgive, but trust is something earned. Trusting toxic people when they haven’t earned trust will only cause more harm to everyone.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/kieferpix
Jared Salomon is a writer and editor, with a Bachelor of Science in Professional Writing from Taylor University. He is an associate product developer for Childress Ink. He writes Christian fiction, realistic fiction, and fantasy. In his free time, Jared enjoys hanging out with his friends and playing sports (especially tennis).
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