Have you ever felt irrationally angry about something that makes no sense? The kind of frustration where you can't let it go, even though logically you know your reaction is disproportionate?
A few Thanksgivings ago, while my best friend battled cancer and my prayers for her healing seemed to hit an invisible ceiling, a mutual friend sent me a decorative gnome to lift my spirits. It was adorable—all beard, no eyes, and a tall pointy hat. Yet something in me despised this innocent wooden figurine with deep, irrational outrage. Its presence became a landmine in my home. I moved it from the fireplace mantle to a windowsill, from a ledge to a countertop. Just when I thought I'd overcome my strange revulsion, I'd turn a corner, spot the little gnome, and internally explode with inexplicable fury.
The breakthrough came during a visit from my young nephews. While playing outside, they discovered the severed head of a small bird. After managing the situation, I found myself shaking with the same irrational anger I felt toward the gnome. Walking back into the house, the realization hit me: I wasn't angry about a decorative gnome or a bird head. These objects had become outlets for deeper grief. Life should not be like this. Everything felt out of place. My best friend should not be dying, leaving behind her husband and three precious sons.
I was angry that my prayers weren't being answered. I was furious that dreams die, hearts get crushed, and some prayers seem to hit an invisible ceiling while others receive miraculous answers. These seasons—when you can't make sense of what God is doing—are called "dark nights of the soul." As Proverbs 13:12 reminds us,
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick."
Whether facing loss of dreams, relationships, health, or unanswered prayers, we might act okay while feeling heartsick and angry. This is a completely normal part of Christian life and spiritual formation. Because we haven't normalized this experience in the church, it can feel like we're moving backward spiritually. But this process is actually part of our maturing—God is teaching us that our faith isn't about feelings but about King Jesus.
So, how do we pray and maintain faith during spiritual midnights? Jesus addresses this directly in Luke 11, where he tells a parable about someone banging on a friend's door at midnight, asking for bread. It's a story about persistent prayer in dark nights of the soul, offering four crucial truths for navigating these difficult seasons.
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1. The Foundation of Prayer Is Friendship with God
Jesus begins his parable with "Suppose you have a friend..." This isn't coincidental—it establishes the fundamental assumption for approaching God. Even when God seems distant or unresponsive, the foundation remains: God is your perfect friend.
This is a glorious miracle. We're invited into friendship with the God who created everything, who governs the cosmos and orders history. Because of Jesus's death and resurrection, sinful human beings are given entrance into friendship with God.
During dark nights, we must remind ourselves: God is for you, not against you. God has goodness and plans for you. God is love, and you are loved unconditionally.
If your image of God involves withholding or disappointment, that's not the God revealed in Jesus Christ. For those in Christ, God is wildly for you. This friendship forms the bedrock of our prayer life.
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2. Jesus Invites Us to Pray with Shameless Audacity
Here's where the parable becomes intriguing and slightly uncomfortable. Jesus says the friend won't give bread simply because of friendship, but "because of your shameless audacity, he will get up and give you what you need" (Luke 11:8).
Jesus calls us to pray with shameless audacity—tireless tenacity, persistent boldness. He wants us to bug God with our prayers, even when it seems like God isn't listening. This isn't about manipulating God with perfect prayers. Rather, shameless audacity is a posture of the heart that trusts God is for you and wants you to keep coming.
This kind of prayer impresses Jesus. He wants to see our faith in darkness, our willingness to keep banging on God's door. When life isn't going as planned, it's easy to assume God isn't working. A counter-liturgy to this thinking is to keep asking anyway, expectantly, with hope.
Shameless audacity takes various forms. Sometimes it's surrender: "God, I can't control this." Sometimes it's a lament: "How long, O Lord?" Sometimes it's trust: "God, I believe you're working this out." And sometimes it's continuing to pound on God's door with hope.
Those who hope in God will never be put to shame. God may not answer prayers the way we want, but He will never leave us ashamed for asking.
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3. The Holy Spirit Is the Ultimate Answer to Prayer
In Jesus' parable, the person asks for three loaves of bread, but Jesus concludes by saying, "How much more will your Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:13). This reveals something crucial about prayer's true purpose.
The point of prayer isn't ultimately about getting specific things we're asking for—it's about receiving the Holy Spirit. Prayer in dark nights is about trusting God for more of the Spirit's comfort, power, provision, and wisdom.
We often become so focused on outcomes that we miss the main thing: "God, I need more of your Spirit's presence to guide me through this dark night." Starting each day with "Good morning, Holy Spirit. Fill me today" can transform our perspective.
The Holy Spirit is God's unapologetic "yes" to our prayers. While specific requests may receive complex answers, God always responds affirmatively when we ask for more of His Spirit's presence in our lives.
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4. Jesus Has the Authority to Bring Light into Darkness
It's no accident that Jesus's teaching on prayer immediately precedes his demonstration of authority over demons in Luke 11. This placement reveals that the one we're praying to has complete authority and power to bring light into darkness.
Jesus has total dominion over evil, loss, heartache, injustice, sin, and death. When we're in a dark night of the soul, we're not praying to a void—we're praying to the God who brings light to our darkest nights.
This truth sustained me after my friend Jenn's passing. While going through her belongings, I discovered a little package of gnomes with my name on it—her final gift that became light in my darkness. This is what God does: He brings glimmers of hope even in our deepest pain.
How to Move Forward from Darkness by Faith
Dark nights of the soul are not detours from spiritual growth—they're integral to it. These seasons teach us that our faith transcends feelings and circumstances, anchored in God's unchanging character.
When you find yourself in a spiritual midnight, remember these truths. Approach God as your friend, pray with shameless audacity, ask for the Holy Spirit's filling, and trust in Jesus's authority over darkness. Your current pain doesn't negate God's goodness.
The night may be long, but morning is coming. Because He lives, we can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Darren Tierney
Originally published Monday, 02 June 2025.