Christian hierarchies. Bet you’d never think you’d see those two words in the same sentence. In our heart of hearts, we know that Christianity and favoritism are antithetical. That these two words should not appear together. Paul made it clear that in Christ, there is neither Jew nor Gentile, male nor female, slave nor free.
And although today’s article can’t talk about all the divisions we’ve created, we’d like to tackle three major ones we’ve seen and personally experienced. In this article, we (Trey and Hope) will discuss personal stories, but without saying which experience happened to whom, for the safety of others. It’s sad that we even have to include that, but better safe than sorry.
As much as we’d love to tackle hierarchies between men and women in this article, entire books have been written on that. We’ll leave it to those authors to discuss the mistreatment of women in the church.
Without further ado, I’ll hand it off to my coauthor to tackle hierarchies and why they happen in the church in the first place.
What Are Hierarchies?
A hierarchy can be defined as “a system, especially in a society or an organization, in which people are organized into different levels of importance from highest to lowest.”
In our current culture, we see the corporate hierarchy (lowest: employee, highest: CEO), educational hierarchy (lowest: Bachelor’s, highest: PhD), and even cultural or familial settings.
Hierarchy, in many ways, is understandable. It’s even necessary in areas like leadership and management. Sadly, people can also use hierarchy to control, manipulate, and even abuse people. This can and has happened in the church—from authoritarian pastors firing church staff for questioning their authority to denominations viewing themselves as more “in touch” with God than others.
Hierarchy is part of our world, and the church is not exempt. Whether you are under a pastor at an evangelical Church or a bishop in a catholic diocese, hierarchy is around us. Therefore, we must be mindful and aware of hierarchical control and recognize when it’s used poorly. We must be willing to call out abuse within Christian circles, whether others or ourselves are victims.
Christian Hierarchies Over Marital or Parental Status
One of the most evident hierarchies—which many Christians ignore or deny—is how we treat the single and the childless in our church circles.
Even before my coauthor and I started dating, I would bemoan that Jesus, Paul, and most of the disciples are never mentioned as marrying anyone. And yet, too many churches treat single people with disdain and childless people as selfish.
Even when we started dating, I noticed a shift. People started treating me nicer. They treated me like I was less “competition,” as if I’d try to steal away their spouse for some reason. I also remember people refusing to talk with me when they started dating someone because we were now “unequally yoked” in our friendships.
Although I could go on and on about this and write books on this (one of us has, in fact), let’s talk about why this happens in the first place.
It boils down to this:
- A misinterpretation of “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28)
- A misinterpretation of “two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
I want to throw a disclaimer in here. Marriage is a gift. Children are a gift. My coauthor and I wouldn’t be planning to marry next year if we thought marriage was a burden.
With that out of the way, let’s dive into these two points.
What Does “Be Fruitful and Multiply” Really Mean?
“Be fruitful and multiply” is a command given to Adam and Eve. There were two people on earth. It made sense that they’d be given this command. There was no one else inhabiting the planet.
Although God blesses families and children, we shouldn’t treat couples with more children as holier. I remember a family member told me, “Children mean sacrifice. And the more children you have, the more sacrifice.” Their advice was valid—children take hard work, and more children mean more hard work.
But that doesn’t mean we should shame couples who cannot have kids or have chosen not to have kids at this time. We don’t marry solely to procreate. Nowhere in the Song of Solomon, the textbook case of romantic love in the Bible, do we see either of the lovers say, “Wow, I can’t wait to have 14 kids with you.”
What Does Two Are Better than One Really Mean?
The “two are better than one” passage refers to marriage but more broadly to Christian community. It’s better to unite as Christians than wallow away in our homes. Yes, this applies to marriage, but this also applies to Christian friendships.
We need to treat single and childless people better in the church. We should not be seeing people in ministry jobs being pressured into relationships. My brother was told that to serve in the church, he would need a wife eventually. As if having a wife somehow made him a better leader.
I’ll digress and let my coauthor take the reins on hierarchies in Christian jobs.
Christian Hierarchies Over Jobs
While studying at a Christian college, I noticed a hierarchy regarding jobs and degree programs. Anything that fits someone else’s “ministry” label was considered worthwhile.
Let’s take summer jobs, for example: during junior year’s summer break, I was working at my college library for the summer to help make ends meet. When students returned to the campus in the fall, students would flaunt and overtalk about their missionary trips or jobs and how they were “serving the Lord every day.”
Of course, there is nothing wrong with missionary work—especially if someone desires or feels called to spend their summer that way. That said, the silent stares and responses I got when saying I stayed home to save money at my job were consistent. The basic idea was, “If you aren’t giving your free time to the Lord, then are you even pursuing the Lord?”
Let’s look at another example. When I talked about a time when I worked in the film industry, Christians constantly asked if I worked on Christian films. When I responded that it was the secular industry, I received both silent judgment and passive-aggressive questions because it wasn’t directly related to a ministry.
While someone’s ministry may be directly in the church or a Christian organization, it does not automatically counter the ministry others are involved in. It’s possible to work for a secular organization and make that work into a ministry—sharing the gospel with coworkers, doing God-honoring work, and so on. Even Paul himself worked and spoke directly with Gentiles in his ministry. Why should it be any different for us?
Christian Hierarchies Over Age
Ageism, sadly, is abundant in many church circles. And although my coauthor and I are young, I want to mention it goes both ways. I’ve had many elderly church members say they feel edged out.
I could tell numerous stories of ageism I experience while working with other Christians. Instead, let me explain why this happens and how it directly contradicts the Bible.
There’s something very beautiful in wisdom. When we gain life experiences, we can pass them down to others.
Unfortunately, with wisdom can sometimes come pride. One may see the wisdom they’ve gained and imagine those who don’t have such wisdom as “lesser than” or “having a lot of growing up to do.” This can lead to condescending conversations, gatekeeping, and downright blatant ageism.
How does this contradict the Bible?
Well, for starters, God used people of all ages. On the older side? Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Anna, etc. On the younger side? Mary, Daniel, the disciples, etc. Seriously, they were teenagers.
The Bible also says not to let people look down on you because of your age (1 Timothy 4:12).
God can use people at every age, so let’s stop gatekeeping and start seeing the value of every age in our congregation.
Why Are Christian Hierarchies Bad?
Some hierarchy is always going to be present. But unhealthy hierarchies shouldn’t dominate our Christian communities. Here are a few reasons why hierarchy can be harmful.
1. Gatekeeping: When we look down on others while making ourselves superior, we may unintentionally gatekeep specific circles to prevent competition, inferiority complexes, or new people as a whole. Rather than seeing people as a threat, we should see each other as siblings in the faith and as new relationships to develop and grow in. Of course, we may not be close with everyone we meet, but it can’t hurt to try and build bridges instead of fences.
2. Preventing Change: I get it. Change is hard and is sometimes met with skepticism. Not all change is bad, though. If the change can benefit others’ needs, or help a community overcome hostility, then that change may be worth it. To prevent change is not only to hinder growth, it can also hinder the Holy Spirit from leading us to somewhere new. Certain beliefs, practices, and traditions are important to maintain. However, preventing any change will lead to legalistic living. This brings us to point 3.
3. Legalism: Nothing turns off healthy Christians and non-believers more than legalistic Christians. Legalism is the very thing that Christ himself criticized the Pharisees for practicing. Legalism has no place in the church. By legalism, I do not mean prayer schedules, liturgy, or mandatory doctrinal beliefs. I am talking about rules or practices with no particular biblical or historical support—a rigid extrabiblical view of what jobs we should have, what our marriages should look like, how we should raise our kids, etc. Everyone is different. While we should speak out or ask questions if something seems concerning, expecting everything to fit our viewpoints will only show our narrow view of the world and the Bible.
Further Reading:
Did God Play Favorites in the Bible and Does He Today?
What Does It Mean to Be Called?
How Can the Church Better Acknowledge Christian Singles?
Photo Credit: Getty Images/Ratana21
Hope Bolinger is an acquisitions editor at End Game Press, book editor for hire, and the author of almost 30 books. More than 1500 of her works have been featured in various publications. Check out her books at hopebolinger.com for clean books in most genres, great for adults and kids. Check out her editing profile at Reedsy.com to find out about hiring her for your next book project.
Trey Soto holds a B.A. in Communication Studies from Biola University and an M.A. in Communication Management from the University of Denver. He is a photographer, a writer, and a podcast host at T.V. Trey Podcast. You can see more of his work on his Wix portfolio.
