If you want your marriage to last for the long haul, you’re going to need to make tough choices to stay in love—and keep making those choices again and again. One of those choices is to extend grace, even when life is hard.
The longer you’re married, the easier it is to become ungracious. No marriage will last without grace, forgiveness, acceptance, and a lot of patience. You have to choose to cut your spouse slack.
It’s easy to show grace one time. That’s no big deal. What’s hard is when someone repeatedly hurts or irritates you. First Corinthians 13:7 says, “Love never stops being patient . . .” (GW). The Message paraphrase says it like this: “Love . . . puts up with anything.”
Here are three situations that will continually call for grace in your marriage:
You need to extend grace when their flaws and faults irritate you.
The longer you love somebody, the more you know their flaws. You can choose to be either critical or gracious, picky or kind, perfectionistic or merciful. The Living Bible paraphrase says in Proverb 17:9, “Love forgets mistakes.”
One time two women were talking after church and one said to the other, “Do you remember when your husband did that?” She was talking about a bad thing that had happened. I love what the other woman said: “I distinctly remember forgetting that.”
Friend, it’s a choice. It’s foolish to think that two imperfect people could have a perfect relationship. You must extend grace. Love disregards another person’s faults. Love forgets mistakes. Ephesians 4:2 says, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love” (NLT).
You need to extend grace when their words or actions hurt you.
The truth is, we’re human and we hurt each other, sometimes intentionally but many times unintentionally. We say things we don’t mean. We’re inconsiderate and selfish. We’re careless with our words and actions.
I was talking to a man one day. He said, “I did something wrong, and my wife got historical.”
I said, “You mean hysterical!” He then said, “No, historical. She told me everything I’d ever done wrong.”
The Bible says that love “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV). You’ve got to let it go if you want a love that lasts.
You need to extend grace when they sin.
Your spouse is going to sin, sometimes against you, sometimes against God, and sometimes against others. Colossians 3:13 says, “Put up with each other, and forgive each other. . . . Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (GW). Love forgives.
A great marriage is simply the union of two great forgivers.
Tomorrow we’ll learn two more choices for growing a love that lasts.
Rick Warren is an innovative pastor, renowned author, and global influencer known for founding Saddleback Church, the Purpose Driven Network, the PEACE Plan, and Hope for Mental Health. He has written several best-selling books, including The Purpose Driven Life, which has sold over 35 million copies in 200 languages. Time magazine named Warren the most influential spiritual leader in America and one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Since stepping down from the lead pastor role at Saddleback in 2022, Warren has continued to inspire people through his Daily Hope Devotional and podcast Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope. His first book in a decade, Created to Dream, was released in April 2023.
For more Daily Hope with Rick Warren, please visit pastorrick.com!
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