Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Catchy as those words may be, they often ring true, especially when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman.
As we try to manage this life on Earth together, it’s important to understand our unique and beautiful differences.
It’s evident that our God created us differently on purpose and for a purpose, from our physical structure and emotional IQ to our overall mental makeup.
With that said, here are just a few fun facts for you:
1. Men typically have thicker skin, denser, stronger bones, and more muscle mass.
2. Men generally function from the left side of their brain, whereas women tap into both sides.
3. Men need opportunities to compete and lead, whereas women generally gain confidence in feeling cherished and worth protecting.
4. Women value intimacy and seek security, whereas men tend to be adventurous and love to take risks.
5. Women generally communicate to explore feelings and thoughts while men talk to gain information.
6. Women naturally respond to distress with compassion, while men typically respond to distress with assertiveness.
The truth of the matter is that distinct differences between men and women have been etched within us since the very beginning of time (Genesis 1:27) and designed to complement one another.
While the world may hold a vastly different view of what a man and woman are, the Bible is clear — we are divinely designed to display the image of our loving Creator.
However, as wonderful as it is to be purposefully created, sometimes it’s the differences that put us at odds with one another, causing tension and friction. It’s often those annoying habits that really rub us the wrong way, and simply drive us crazy!
While marriage is a beautiful covenant and one, we mustn’t take lightly, we must also recognize that laughter really is good medicine. So, ladies, grab your hubby and read these habits that most wives simply detest.
See if you and your hubby would agree. Then, let it be a springboard for laughter and maybe even some rather lively discussions.
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1. Laughing Hysterically at Bodily Noises
Okay, can we just say that bodily noises are indeed funny? We get it! However, riddle me this, why must a loud blubbery burp stream out like Bart Simpson when we are sitting at the dinner table? One of the many ways to make your wife roll her eyes and go, “Ugh!”
Let me start with this: Misophonia is a thing. It’s certain sounds that drive us crazy. Husbands you need to understand that loud and indecent body noises fall into that category.
Being of the female species our brains are especially heightened and in tune with particular noises and smells.
This is why we wake up to the slightest noises in the middle of the night while you snore right through them. This might also be why we love candles and sweet scents filling up our homes so much.
That being said, your wife still loves when you make her laugh. So, keep that fun and lively spark along with your award-winning smile, and win her over with your charm.
Read Proverbs 17:22. Are there ways you can both bring more humor (in a positive) way to your marriage?
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2. Towels and Clothes Sprawled Out
Oh my! Watch out if your wife spots the dreaded lonely towel on the floor or gym shorts that grace the floor merely two feet away from the hamper. Let the laundry wars begin!
I wonder if Adam and Eve ever had this problem. Maybe Eve couldn’t find his fig leaves because they blended in so well with their natural habitat.
Maybe Adam had to make several fig leaf drawers in order to clothe himself. What did he do after a bath if his usual animal fur towel was missing or not dry? Hmm.
Alright hubbies, there’s a lesson to be learned here. If you do so happen to do your own laundry, you can go ahead and sweetly smile at your dear beloved wife and move on to the next point.
However, if the “laundry fairy” happens to periodically pay you a visit and washes, dries, folds, and neatly puts your clothes away, please do her a favor — and help her.
Make it a game by aiming for that laundry basket. And if you want to dry off with a towel that doesn’t smell like a soiled, wet dog, then hang it up when you are done to let it dry out.
Take time to talk this one out if need be. Trust me, your lovely wife will be ever so grateful if you help carry this burden by making it a tad bit easier on her.
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3. Not Putting the Toilet Lid Down
The inevitable fate a husband will reap as soon as he hears the shriek streaming from the bathroom in the middle of the night! Eek! The struggle is real, and it can get ugly really quickly. This habit may even be deemed as the worst.
With all due respect, I realize this is not done maliciously and is often just a forgone habit that some men may do, not even realizing it is truly irking their wives.
So, hear me out here. If you are a hubby who absent-mindedly leaves the seat up, try to realize how this seemingly insignificant issue can eventually lead to frustration and even resentment.
For the sake of your marriage, please don’t let it get there. Let your wife know you will do your best to try to be more mindful and if needed place a note above the toilet to help you remember.
Your wife would not only sincerely appreciate it, but it would also most likely be appreciated by other female family members as well.
Question to answer: since this seems to be a universal struggle for nearly every marriage, how can you both resolve this issue, so it doesn’t escalate or bring about unnecessary bitterness?
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4. Tracking Dirt Through a Clean House
First, let me start by saying your wife loves it when you work on the house, doing renovations, and sprucing things up. It helps her and lets her know you care about your humble abode.
However, when you finish up and track some of that “outside” into the inside, it can bring about a nasty negative wave of emotions, especially if the house is freshly cleaned.
The beautiful thing is that you both contribute to the home. God allows us different skill sets to complement one another and be able to raise a family. Just as you can find it overwhelming tending to your responsibilities, she often feels the same.
However, that being said, we can carry each other’s burdens and help by simply stating what we need. Ask your wife how you can help around the house and how she can help you outside.
If she has cleaned the house, try to clean up outside before coming in, and if you have a certain order to things outside, inform her of your strategy so she can happily help you, too.
Something for you both to ponder is how you can shift your mindset. What does your spouse need and how can you come alongside and help them?
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5. Being Emotionally Unavailable
This is a difficult one to touch on because as the more “emotional” beings when we don’t have this essential need met, it can wreak havoc on a marriage. This should be an alarm signal for all hubbies.
Bottom line: the habit of drawing in and not letting your beloved wife see your softer side can do so much damage. In other words, she needs to know she has your full heart.
Maybe you are asking what that looks like. Well, you can also ask her what that means to her because it tends to be slightly different for each woman.
However, here are some general signs of an emotionally stable husband, and one your wife truly needs and depends on:
- She needs you to be dependable and reliable.
- She needs you to engage in conversations, but not interrupt her while she is talking.
- She needs and would deeply appreciate productive feedback (your leadership skills can come out here).
- She needs you to offer security and protection and she needs and would like you to be patient, understanding, and vulnerable.
- She isn’t expecting perfection but needs you to make an effort to try to tap into your emotions.
Here is the truth, your wife “needs” you to be the man God has created you to be! That includes being there for her emotionally.
Keep in mind that God made you for this and she can flourish and thrive when you provide the emotional security that your husbandly skillset offers her.
When she is confident in you and your abilities, knowing that you’re building this life together, you will see her long to meet your needs as well. She will be able to offer respect, affirmation, understanding, and affection.
Read Ephesians 5:21-33 together and see God’s perfect and beautiful plan for your marriage. Then be willing to open up and share how you plan to meet each other’s needs.
May God richly bless your union and the beautiful ways in which each of you contributes to it. May you choose to see your marriage as a precious gift and find meaningful ways to serve and love one another.
As you learn more about one another, may you find ways to embrace your differences, using your unique design to bless your spouse and glorify our God.
For further reading:
10 Things All Wives Need to Stop Doing
3 Ways Paul Teaches Husbands How to Lead Godly Families
How to Pray for Your Husband: 8 Specific Areas to Pray Over Your Husband
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Originally published Friday, 03 November 2023.