Not everyone can comprehend as to why a man and a woman desire to be married or in covenant with each other. God created Adam and saw it fit for Adam to not be alone and He then created Eve (Genesis 2). Even Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, states that “to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.”
We all have some sort of desire to be married, while others desire to remain single, but most people desire a spouse to spend the rest of their lives with. Therefore, God gives us desires in our lives for a purpose. Some desires are from the world and some are from God. Our job is to seek God for the desires He has placed in us through prayer.
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him (Lamentations 3:25).
Seek God and His Desires
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).
There are so many love songs that we have listened to whether we wanted to or not. I know for a fact that when I hear the word “desire,” I am reminded of God, yes, but also the song “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys.
This song, as well as many others I grew up with, was played over and over again. It is a song that I won't ever forget. But this song describes to you how much we desire things and people in this world.
There are television shows, movies, songs, and even the people we are around that influence our desires. We become so consumed with our desires that we forget that God is and should be our only desire. “Also it is not good for a soul to be without knowledge, And he sins who hastens with his feet. The foolishness of a man twists his way, And his heart frets against the Lord” (Proverbs 19:2-3).
The Bible states that if we are too quick to give in to our desires without knowledge from God, then we are foolish. We become angry with God because of the rash decisions we make without seeking God’s wisdom and knowledge first.
So, what is your reason for praying for love? My reasons were because I have always desired for my own husband and family. I was searching for my future husband even when I was not saved. I was searching for a man of God when all along I should have searched only for God’s heart. In Matthew 6:33, the Bible states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
I worried about when I was going to be married, and how it would all come together. All of my efforts were consumed with seeking everything else but God. I learned only a few years ago that my life is not my own, and my desires are not my own either.
It was then when I became serious about praying for my future husband and seeking God first. I was not perfect at all in doing this, and I even grew impatient. But I do know this: Trust God and seek Him always. Love God first and always.
I love those who love me, And those who seek me diligently will find me (Proverbs 8:17).
Praying for Love or for Wisdom?
For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding (Proverbs 2:6).
I have been told that it is wise to ask God how you should pray for your future spouse or your current spouse. We all have these stipulations and conditions we design in our minds according to our desires. We also do not realize how much influence the world can have on our prayers for our future spouses.
I can tell you that my current fiancé is not exactly what I had designed in my mind before I asked God. My fiancé is beyond what I prayed for. God knew exactly how to pair me with my future husband. I am so grateful and thankful.
But for those who are still praying, take heart and be patient (Romans 8:25). All throughout the Bible, there are examples of patience, endurance, and perseverance. Adam and Eve, Rachel and Jacob, Mary and Joseph, Ruth and Boaz are all relationship stories that were not even close to being perfect.
In the world today, you are exposed to the many lies the enemy wants you to believe on how a spouse and a marriage should look like. Social media personifies these lies and they are ingrained into our minds, which can leak into our prayers. The most important prayer we should pray for our future spouses, and even current spouses is in 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
This is how we should pray for love. God is the author of love because “God is Love” (1 John 4:8). Our why should only matter if we do not know the intent and reason behind why we pray for love. God knows you better than you know yourself. Trust, lean, and seek (Proverbs 3:5-6).
We love Him, because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).
A Closing Prayer
Father, I thank you for showing us your love. Thank you, Father, for giving us the greatest example of love when you gave your only Son to die so that we could live.
Father, I pray for those who are seeking a spouse. I pray that you, God, will be their first love and that they can trust You to bring them the spouse they have been praying for.
I also pray for those who are currently married. I pray that they always put You first, God and that they won’t lose sight of the gift that You have given them. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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Rebecca Mashburn (Gordon) has a wonderful husband named Joseph. She has a blog, Trust. Lean, Seek and is working on becoming what God is calling her to. She has a bachelor's in psychology and hopes to one day pursue a degree in biblical counseling. Rebecca loves to be in nature, especially in springtime, and she loves to travel. She has a loving family and hopes one day to have children of her own.