Is it wrong to pray with anger? Sometimes bad things happen, and our first instinct is anger at God. We blame him for our pain. Sometimes other people hurt us or abuse us, and we go to the throne praying angrily for vengeance. Is it wrong to pray this way? Do we need to clean up our prayers? Should we only pray when we’re not angry? We know how we feel when anger seeps into our prayers. Sometimes we feel justified, while other times, we feel guilty. Rather than going on feelings, we need to see what the Bible says about anger and watch how God handled biblical men and women who prayed angry prayers.
Do We See People Praying with Anger in the Bible?
Angry prayers can be found throughout scripture. Moses and David both spoke their share of frustrated prayers to God. One powerful scene involved Moses and Israelite leaders rebelling against Moses and Aaron. These men were mad. They were tired of living in the desert. Their patience had run out, so they blamed Moses and Aaron and questioned their divinely appointed leadership. They wanted to take over. At one point, Moses invited these men to talk with him, but they refused. That’s when Moses lost it:
“Moses’ temper blazed white-hot. He said to God, ‘Don’t accept their Grain-Offering. I haven’t taken so much as a single donkey from them; I haven’t hurt a single hair of their heads’”(Numbers 16:15 MSG).
God was ready to wipe everyone out, but Moses and Aaron pleaded he only destroyed the families of this rebellion’s ring leaders. And he did. A sinkhole swallowed them up, and then fire from heaven scorched the rest. This story reminds us of God’s swift judgment, the brevity of this life, and the power and danger of our anger.
David also prayed with anger at times. The Psalms are filled with words of lament. David often cried out for God to intervene, but with each frustrated, heart-wrenching prayer, David balanced his petition with praise and trust in God’s faithfulness.
The author of Lamentations does the same thing. Theologians believe the man who penned Lamentations was Jeremiah, who lamented over the destruction of Jerusalem. Yet, amid his lament, he wrote a manifesto of trust.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)
These men demonstrated the beauty of honest, raw emotions poured out to God in prayer, balanced by a deep trust in God’s faithfulness.
Does the Bible Say It’s Good to Give God Our Anger?
Some of God’s most beloved men got angry. Peter’s temper ran hot more than cold. As we saw above, Moses’s anger got the best of him sometimes too. Jesus also had a few moments of frustration and anger—holy anger. A whip, merchants running out of the Temple, and stone tables overturned come to mind. It is not wrong or bad to be angry. It’s what’s behind the anger that counts. Kathy Collard wrote in her article on anger, “In every instance of Jesus exhibiting anger in the Gospels, He is motivated by love and justice.” Our anger is not always as pure.
In his letter to the church in Ephesus, Paul explained the danger of anger.
“‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4: 26-27)
His words are very clear: our anger, not given to God, leads to sin. Giving our anger to God means not trying to get revenge or justification. It means trusting he will work it out. He can reconcile the relationship or deal with the person who hurt you.
“In your anger do not sin” comes from Psalm 4:4. The rest of the verse instructs: “When you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.” When we don’t search our hearts first, we go to bed pointing fingers. Playing the tapes in our heads of what to say or do to get our revenge. But the devil has no foothold when we give it to God, searching our hearts and praying for our forgiveness.
Giving our anger to God is good because the anger can be redeemed in his hands. We can find peace and comfort. God can do what he does best.
When Can Praying with Anger Become a Problem?
We can be honest with God. He’s big. He can handle our anger. We cannot do anything to make him love us any less or love us anymore. He is constant and true—the judge of all humanity who judges with grace and equality. Yet, angry prayers must be balanced with surrender and trust. When we refuse to give God our anger fully, we miss all he has for us in that circumstance.
David experienced this. In 1 Chronicles 13, David’s good friend, Uzzah, died while helping move the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem. Uzzah reached out to steady the ark to prevent its fall, but when his hand touched the sacred ark of God, the Lord struck him dead. David was devastated and angered by God’s actions. He was so afraid and mad at God that he refused to take the ark of God into Jerusalem. Rather than taking it home, they took it to a nearby house. And that family was blessed.
For three months, David refused the ark of God until he needed God’s help. When war threatened Judah, David went to God for help, and God did just as he promised. After that victory, David went home and prepared a place for the ark of God. He then told his men they would return the ark, as God had instructed Moses. The ark was brought home with much celebration and joy. David danced, and they sang, “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always” (1 Chronicles 16:11).
Anger is a problem when we harbor it. David learned this. Anger can separate us from God’s presence and keep us from receiving all the blessings God has for us.
How Can We Keep Praying with Anger Healthy?
We can keep praying with anger healthy when we follow these guidelines:
1. Always include praise and thanksgiving in your prayer. Sandwich your angry petitions with praise. It’s important to start with thanks and praise and end with praise.
2. Search your heart and ask for forgiveness. Our anger might be justified, but it takes two to tango. None of us are perfect. Own your part. Use the last two verses of Psalm 139 to guide this prayer:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)
3. Journal your angry prayers tangibly, releasing them to God as you shut the journal and put it away. Journaling prayer lets you record how God worked out this frustration or hurt that caused the anger.
4. Pray for God to redeem your anger and the incident that caused it. He is the great redeemer who can take our anger and bad situations and use them for good.
5. Confide in a trusted friend. Do not tell everyone you encounter about your hurt or disappointment. Pray for wisdom about whom to share your anger. Before going to the phone to share with that trusted friend, work through guidelines 1-4 first.
6. Pray for the one who angered and hurt you. Pray for their healing. Hurt people hurt people.
A Prayer for Releasing Sinful Anger
Dear God,
We worship you. We love you. Oh, Lord, forgive us our sins as we forgive those who hurt us and make us angry. Show us what to do with this anger and turn it for good. Search our hearts and show us where we have offended and hurt others. Don’t let the devil get a foothold. Help us love, forgive, and give grace. And please heal our hearts, wounds, and pain, causing the anger inside. No one can do this like you can.
May you be praised and glorified forever and ever.
Amen.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/kieferpix
Andy Lee is an event speaker, blogger, YouTuber, and award winning author of three books, A Mary Like Me; The Book of Ruth Key-Word Bible Study, and Radiant Influence: How an ordinary girl changed the world. She passionately teaches how to find life in God's Word in order to live abundantly. You can catch her life giving messages weekly on Instagram and YouTube. She also provides monthly Bible reading plans and articles on her website www.wordsbyandylee.
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