You look at your man in his element — whatever it may be — fixing something under the hood of your car and you question, “How can I pray for him. We may be married but his world is so different compared to mine.” It’s true, the way men see, and experience things are different than how we do. He shoulders certain responsibilities, protects your family, and ensures all your needs are met.
Years ago, I made a commitment to pray for my husband. I thought I was being such a wise, soulful wife but the truth is the prayers I was praying were about my selfishness and immaturity. I was praying for Chris to see things my way, for God to bless our marriage my way, etc.
It wasn’t until after a torrid few months of marriage when the threads of our marriage were so frayed, and I didn’t know if we would still be together that I earnestly journaled my prayers and, over time, I began to realize that prayer is one of the most powerful weapons we have to combat this world and the enemy.
Yes, your husband needs your love. He definitely needs your respect. He needs your companionship. He needs your support. He needs your physical touch but, most importantly, he needs your prayers. No one knows him like you do.
No one knows the things that burden his heart or the issues that keep him awake at night. No other human being on this earth knows him as intimately as you. This makes your prayers all that more special, focused, specific, and powerful!
If you’re wondering how exactly to pray for him, go to your husband and ask him what his needs are. Then begin looking up scriptures that support his needs. But if you need ideas of how to pray, here are five ways to pray for your husband.
1. Seek God’s Will
It’s too easy to pray and say things like, “God thank you for my marriage but if you could bless it just like this [insert your wants] but absolutely do not change anything else that would be great, thanks.”
When praying for anything in your life, remember to seek God’s will above your own. Especially for your husband. The first thing you should pray for regarding your husband is that he is seeking God’s calling for his life as well. Proverbs 29:18 reminds us that those without vision perish. And we certainly need to remember our purpose and calling as individuals and in marriage.
What is God’s purpose for him? Pray that he speaks with God daily and seeks God’s will in all he does. Pray that his relationship with God guides all of his decisions.
2. Pray for His Passion
If what your husband does is the vehicle, then passion has to be the engine. It’s what gets your husband up in the mornings, it’s the thing that drives him to his knees to prayer. It’s the heartbeat for why he married you. Passion drives him.
Passion isn’t just for the bedroom — we’ll get to that later. However, your man should be passionate about the important and meaningful things in life. He should have passion for pursuing God and about being the best husband and father he can be. He should have passion for his family and his career.
In Romans 12, Paul states, “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.” The definition of the word passion is “to have a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something.”
Husbands, in the modern-day church, have a charge to serve the Lord with passion and zeal. Mark 12:30 reads, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
Men of integrity do not compromise their values. Men of integrity seek to do what is right and honorable. They model the verse in Micah 6:8: Seek justice. Love mercy and walk humbly with God. Ask God to protect his reputation and that he is a man of integrity in both his public and private life.
It’s one of the most valuable character assets. The word integrity is related to the roots of words like “integrate” and “entire.” In Spanish, it is rendered “integro,” meaning whole. Integrity thus implies the state of being complete, undivided, intact, and unbroken.
A man with integrity is valued and respected among friends, in the workplace and serves as a role model at home. He will strive to be the best in God’s eyes in all he does.
The enemy knows if he can tear down a man, then he can destroy an entire family. That’s not just one casualty, it’s multiple casualties that will create a ripple effect for generations to come. More than 23 million children in the U.S. are growing up without a father to guide them — meaning they, too, are more prone to temptation and consequences.
While God allows us to experience temptations, He will give us the means to overcome our sinful habits with His guidance and grace through prayer if we ask Him for His help and keep asking Him, especially when we are interceding for our spouses.
Pray for God to open your eyes to the temptations your husband faces. Ask your husband to be open and honest about his struggles, and when he comes to you with his failures of “wandering eyes,” being dishonest on the job, or some other issue, keep your perspective of who he is in God’s eyes and why you love him.
Then fight for him in your prayers. Of course, some of his failures will hurt, but the most valuable tool to protect him, you, and your marriage is to fight for him in prayer.
Every time I think of this word, in the context of my husband, I can’t help but smile and imagine him running up and down a field with a half blue face screaming, “Freedom,” as he rallies his friends. This very iconic scene from the movie Braveheart embodies the type of courage our husbands need to face the challenges in today’s world.
Our husbands don’t just need courage to “stand up” to those who promote unjust and dangerous policies, he needs to possess courage to change things where he stands, where he is planted in his home and community. C.S. Lewis wrote, “Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at its testing point, which means at the point of highest reality.”
He needs to be able to stand up for your marriage, for his belief in God and the expectations God has placed on his shoulders. He needs to be able to fight for what is right and what he believes in. Pray that he has the ability to stand tall in the face of adversity.
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Heather Riggleman is an author, national speaker, former award-winning journalist and podcast co-host of the Moms Together Podcast. She calls Nebraska home with her three kids and a husband of 21 years. She believes Jazzercise, Jesus, and tacos can fix anything and not necessarily in that order! She is author of Mama Needs a Time Out and Let’s Talk About Prayer and a contributor to several books. Her work has been featured on Proverbs 31Ministries, MOPS, Today's Christian Woman and Focus On the Family. You can find her at www.heatherriggleman.com or on Facebook.