I was recently conducting a financial education workshop, and the topic of taxes came up. I made the statement that tax avoidance, which is working within the tax code to pay as little tax as possible, is legal. However, I also said tax evasion, refusing to pay your taxes at all, is illegal and can send you to jail. At that point, one participant spoke out and said, “It’s only illegal if you get caught.” I knew he was joking (at least I hoped he was), but his comment highlighted an important issue about integrity.
What motivates you to do the things you do? Do you follow the rules only because you do not want to get caught? If so, you are what I call a compliance-motivated person. Or do you follow them because it is the right thing to do? That is a character-motivated person. While both may produce similar outward results, the difference in motivation is critical. Without a focus on character and integrity, compliance motivation alone can eventually lead to serious trouble because you are ignoring the condition of the heart.
This issue is especially important when we think about how we are training the next generation. One area to consider is drug testing, since more schools are engaging in random drug testing. When they implement these programs, we must ask. Are we teaching students from a compliance perspective or from a character perspective?
Compliance vs. Character
A compliance-driven person follows rules because of external pressure or fear of consequences. Avoiding punishment, embarrassment, or exclusion often motivates them. The problem with this mindset is that compliance depends on someone enforcing the rules. If that person does not exist or if a person no longer fears the consequences, they may break the rules. Especially if they believe they won’t get caught.
A character-driven person lives differently. Their desire to do what is right originates within their hearts. These people do what’s right not because they must but because their convictions will not let them do otherwise. Even if they could get away with doing wrong, they won’t, because their morality aligns with their integrity.
In 2023, Beaufort County high schools began random drug testing for their students, testing about 300 students per month. A significant percentage of those tested were athletes or students involved in extracurricular activities. Parents could opt out of the program, but if they did, the school barred their children from sports, clubs, and even parking privileges. On the surface, this looks like accountability, but it raises a deeper question. Are students motivated by character to live clean lives, or are they simply being forced into compliance to preserve privileges?
Why Compliance Alone Fails
Rules are important, but they cannot transform hearts. When we focus on compliance alone, students quickly learn how to play the system. They may avoid drugs, cheating, or misconduct only long enough to stay eligible for sports or clubs. Once you remove the accountability system, their behavior may revert, because there was never a genuine change of heart.
This is the reason teaching integrity must go beyond rules and become a heart issue, because God is looking at the heart.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” - 1 Samuel 16:7
Remorse vs. Repentance
There is a difference between being sorry and truly repenting. Consider the story of former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and the company’s chief people officer, Kristin Cabota. The kiss-cam caught them at a Coldplay concert, which revealed their affair. Neither intended this to come to light, and when it did, their embarrassment was immediate as they attempted to hide from the camera. They were embarrassed because they were caught, not by the act itself.
This illustrates the difference between remorse and repentance. Remorse is sorrow for having been exposed. Repentance is sorrow for the sin itself, which leads to a change in behavior. Integrity is about repentance, not remorse. It is about doing the right thing, not because people are watching, but because God is watching, and it is the right thing to do.
Pursuing Holiness for God’s Glory
This brings us to the key question. How can we help young people pursue holiness for God’s glory, not just to avoid consequences?
Integrity, holiness, and character are intertwined. A holy life means separating yourself to live in a way that pleases God. Fear of retribution is not a long-term motivation for holiness, but love for God is. That does not mean we ignore the potential consequences of our actions, but our decisions are not driven by fear of being punished. They are driven by a desire to glorify God.
The story of Joseph in Genesis 39 is a wonderful example. Potiphar entrusted Joseph with his entire household. After a while, Potiphar’s wife took notice of Joseph and tried to seduce him, but Joseph refused her advances. He reminded her that his master trusted him with everything in the house except her, because she was his wife. Joseph stated clearly,
No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” - Genesis 39:9
Joseph’s integrity was on full display. He probably could have gotten away with the sin because he had opportunity and secrecy on his side. Yet his decision was not about whether he would get caught. It was about his relationship with God. Joseph pursued holiness because pleasing God mattered more to him than temporary pleasure. That is what it looks like when integrity flows from the heart.
3 Practical Ways to Teach Integrity
Developing integrity in young people needs more than just rules and words. Practical steps are necessary for it. Here are some ways we can do this:
1. Be a Model:
Those who guide, like parents, teachers, coaches, and leaders, must embody it. Young people have a keen awareness to recognize hypocrisy. They are looking for adults to model integrity. If they don’t see it in the adults in their lives, then their words will carry no weight at all.
2. Be a Mentor:
Walk alongside students, offering guidance and support, rather than simply enforcing rules. Focus on building relationships, which can create opportunities to influence hearts.
3. Be a Motivator:
Students need safe places where they can ask questions, share their thoughts, and find encouragement. Rather than focusing on punishment, focus on helping students take responsibility and make the right decisions, even if it costs them something.
In 2006, I left the church I had been attending for 15 years. As I stepped away, one leader in the children’s ministry handed me a card. Inside, he wrote these words:
“Character is who you are when no one is watching.”
That one statement captures the essence of integrity. Your public image does not measure who you are. It’s the choices you make when no one else sees that reveal your character. When you practice integrity in the dark, you prepare yourself to stand confidently in the light.
Character and holiness matter. If you neglect them in private, eventually the secrets you try to hide will be exposed. Remember, our calling is to live for God’s glory, all the time. When we remind our children of this truth, we reinforce integrity beyond the test. Rules will no longer be about compliance, but choices will flow from hearts that want to honor God.
The world may not always be watching, but God always is. When our love for him becomes the driving force behind our actions, we will choose integrity every time. It is at that moment integrity moves beyond compliance and becomes a motivator for holiness that glorifies God.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Jose A. Bernat Bacete
