As loneliness rises across all age groups, experts suggest that one of the simplest remedies is surprisingly old-fashioned: invite people over. Casual hospitality—like backyard barbecues and weeknight dinners—may offer powerful relief in an isolated world, but are we willing to go against the grind?
According to the American Psychiatric Association, 1 in 3 Americans feels lonely every week, but for younger adults, ages 18-34, this prevalence is even worse. While many attribute this rate to living in a post-COVID world, studies show 25% were actually lonelier before. While technology helps form relationships, connects us with others, and is beneficial, many are split on whether these interactions and connections are meaningful or superficial.
In this debate between meaningful relationships and superficial ones, individuals are conflicted on what could actually cure the loneliness pandemic. According to the APA’s study, here is how individuals are presently coping:
-50% find a distraction (like TV, podcasts, or social media)
-41% go for a walk
-38% reach out to friends or family
-31% connect to a pet
-31% exercise
-26% eat more than usual
-13% use drugs or alcohol
-9% connect to a therapist or counselor
-6% volunteer
Although this list can be helpful, what if Jesus has already provided a better solution to the loneliness problem? Nothing is wrong with a little exercise, loving on your pets, or talking to a therapist; I do all three. But what if there’s something that could help, tracing back to our generation? To our creation story? To Genesis 1:1? Yet, we’ve forsaken it for screens and 21st-century means instead?
In Genesis, God creates the Heavens and the Earth, and everything in them. But when He creates Adam, Adam has no one to identify with. He’s made in God’s image—a huge honor. He is to reign over all the animals. He has a purpose in tending to the land. But God notices that Adam has found no one is exactly like Him—and this is not good. Houston, we have a problem.
Genesis 2:18-25 explains the account this way: “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still, there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:18-25, NLT).
Loneliness was solved through connection with God, companionship with others, and a humble service towards those around us (hospitality). I wonder if we can learn to apply a similar idea today? Let's begin by defining true and biblical hospitality.
What Is the Biblical Definition of Hospitality?
What exactly is hospitality? Romans 12:13 defines it this way: “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality” (Romans 12:13, NLT). This verse is found smack dab in the middle of the section entitled “Love in action.” So it makes sense that hospitality should be done in service and kindness towards those around us—including those we like, and those we don’t. In fact, verse 12 tells us that we may face affliction in sharing this love, but let us continually cling to joyful hope and faithful prayer.
Hospitality comes from the Greek word philoxenia. It means hospitableness:—entertain a stranger, hospitality. What I love about that definition is that it’s the exact same word found in Hebrews 13:2: “Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it” (Hebrews 13:2, NLT).
True hospitality isn’t just kindness, but it includes kindness to strangers—those we don’t know. If this is true, how can we as Christians reclaim hospitality as a spiritual discipline that reflects God’s love for the lonely? Let's look at four practical answers: In-person connection, taking the initiative, staying simple, and tapping into our senses.
4 Ways to Reclaim Your In-Person Social Life
1. Strive for In-Person Connection.
In the book of Acts, everyone shared spaces, meals, and belongings. This communal sharing in the early church is not necessarily a prescription for modern-day Christians, as Redeemed Mind notes: "Acts 4:32 35 is an emergency aid-based event that was sparked by the large number of foreign converts in Jerusalem at the genesis of the church. It is not presented, in a prescriptive manner, as a normative model for everyday living."
However, it does point to some valuable lessons when it comes to connecting with those around us. Something happens when people break bread around a table of food and fellowship. When you link arms and sit shoulder to shoulder with those you love, remember, Jesus and His Disciples did this many times, not just on the night He was betrayed. While technology was not yet in existence, these Christians were closer to those around them than we probably ever will be. Their intimacy far surpasses the connectivity many are trying to conjure through AI relationships, advice, and counseling.
As Acts 4:23-25 notes: "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power, the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time, those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales, and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need" (NIV).
2. Take the Initiative.
I know this step sounds scary. Even as an Ambivert (half extroverted and half introverted), taking the initiative when it comes to loneliness can be scary. We fear rejection, even more isolation, and overwhelm. But don’t wait for somebody else to do it—don’t wait for someone to invite you over, invite them.
In the passage we looked at in Acts 4, the believers were quick to serve and help one another. Their hospitality was so great that there were no needy persons among them. Wow. What a miracle.
But, I want to point out that loneliness probably still existed, somehow and somewhere. Taking the initiative is a way to counteract this problem. It's not going to solve everything, but if you choose to be the one to take the first step, you'd be surprised how graciously people may respond.
I'm sure there were times in Jesus' life that He felt lonely—not just hanging on the cross, but when He was betrayed, misunderstood, and ridiculed, even by those who said they loved Him. But He always took the initiative to do the right thing, to extend a gentle hand, to open His arms for a loving embrace. How much more are we called to do the same?
3. Don’t Overcomplicate.
Once you invite someone over, make it simple. It doesn’t need to be a big meal or at a fancy house. Just focus on fun and fellowship.
Growing up, my mom was always inviting people over to our home. She has the biggest heart I know. But before, we'd be mad cleaning the house, deep-cleaning every nook and cranny, and fixing way more food than necessary. I want you to know that helping with loneliness doesn't have to add stress or complication to your life.
Like Mary and Martha, I don't think Jesus wants us to stress over such details of our lives. Clean homes are nice, but perfectly cleaned homes aren't necessary. If you have a heart to serve, but struggle with this, try meeting at a local place or park. This could minimize your stress about cleaning the home and ease any fears they might have about meeting formally.
4. Tap Into Your Senses
At the end of the day, I want to remind you that while social media can benefit us, the connection we receive isn't the same as those we live life with in the flesh. In a sense, social media simultaneously connects and disconnects us. We like photos, post reels, and add comments, but what we've really become is a passive observer of others. This engagement isn't in-person, nor does it reflect the fullness of relationships that God designed for us to partake in. Through a screen, there's no touch, no smell, no taste. The noises we hear are stupid memes or notifications.
One of the most basic ways to ease loneliness or reduce its symptoms is to get together with like-minded individuals and just be present. Hug, pat each other on the back, smile, laugh, listen to the voices, bake cookies, smell them waft through the air, I think you get the idea. God's Word teaches us to experience Him with all five of our senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing.
Can We Bring the American 'Party' Back?
In a world obsessed and consumed by screens and scrolling, it's easy to forget that what most of us are truly hungry for is not more content, but connection. The American party hasn’t died, but it has been digitized. Sadly, some of the richness of our relationships has even faded. But you have an opportunity to intervene. To offer a better solution to this loneliness epidemic.
From Genesis to Acts to our modern lives, God invites us into real, lasting, and steadfast community. It's not a community of quick likes, viral TikTok trends, or DMs, but of intentional and relational companionship with those in our corner. This call to hospitality is a spiritual discipline that calls us back to presence and into real relationships with those who long to know us most.
Perhaps the solution to our loneliness isn’t just found in better coping strategies or stronger Wi-Fi, but around the dinner table with friends, on a walk with your spouse, or in the courage it takes to say, “Hey, do you want to come over?” Let’s exchange screens for real faces and spaces. Let’s bring the party back.
A Prayer for Thriving Social Lives
Dear God,
In a digitally obsessed world, help us to find true connection with those around us. Encourage us to take simple steps today that further your Kingdom and help us grow closer to one another. We praise and thank you, Jesus!
Amen.
Photo Credit: I©Unsplash/Samantha Gades
