Key Points
- France’s under-15 social media ban debate highlights growing concern about children, smartphones, cyberbullying, mental health, and screen addiction.
- Laws can restrain harmful behavior, but they cannot form a child’s heart, identity, or virtue.
- Christian parents can help children understand their worth by teaching them that they are created by God and made in His image.
- Children need unconditional love at home so they do not depend on likes, followers, and digital approval for a sense of belonging.
- Self-control and responsible technology use must be taught, modeled, and practiced within the family.
How does a child develop worth and self-esteem? While it is often shaped by what happens in the family unit, a new form of “family” has grabbed the attention of many young people today. I am referring to the social media usage among many teens and children today.
France has recently adopted a new law banning social media use for anyone under 15. This bill also bans children from accessing or possessing cell phones at school. The bill, known as the Digital Safety Law, will take effect on September 1, 2026, for new accounts, and on January 1, 2027, for existing accounts. It will require social media platforms to implement age verification. The purpose of the bill is to help eradicate cyberbullying while also protecting the mental health of youth and overcoming the addiction to excessive screen time.
Editor's note: As of August 14th, France's Top Court has blocked the bill banning social media for those under 15.
As a parent of a teenager, my first thought when I heard this was, "Bravo," because I have seen how addictive social media has become, and for many young people, the primary way to access it is through their smartphones. While I believe laws like these are commendable steps by a government seeking to address a serious problem, how do we, as Christians, and particularly as Christian parents, instill virtues in our children? How can we help them form healthy identities that are not shaped by the world of social media?
Why Laws Cannot Replace Heart Formation
Laws are good because they provide guidelines for living well in society and culture. However necessary laws are, they cannot change the heart. This was true of God’s law in the Old Testament, and it has been true of every law created since. While it is great that France would implement this law, we must recognize that this law alone will not establish virtue in children, nor will it increase their self-esteem. It is only a starting point, though it is a good one, I might add. How, then, do we, as parents, teach children to properly measure their self-worth and, at the same time, protect those who may be vulnerable and most affected by social media? I believe part of the answer lies in returning to teaching simple biblical truths that can have a lasting impact on our children's lives. Here are four that I believe can help.
1 - How Can Parents Help Children Find Their Identity in Christ?
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:13-14
Our young people must know they have been formed by a creator. Our culture today is facing a crisis, with many young people not sure of who they are and where their life is going. Sadly, I believe our children are exposed to many more things at much younger ages, which is adding to this crisis. The time of childhood, when much of your self-worth is formed, has been stolen by things like social media and greater exposure. That’s why it's critical for young people to understand that they have been created by God and formed in his image. We must move our children from judging their worth by superficial social media metrics such as likes, shares, and subscribers to knowing they have value because God has formed them and shaped who they are.
2 - Why Children Need Love That Is Not Based on Performance
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
In our world today, people are searching for a sense of community and belonging. For our children, the first community they will ever belong to is the community that lives in their home. It is in this place that they must experience this unconditional love. This type of love is not a want; it is a need, and if they don’t find it at home, they will seek it elsewhere. The challenge of the social media space is that the community is not based on unconditional love but on how you please and engage your audience. This creates a never-ending search for likes and “friends,” which are only as good as the last piece of content you posted.
The love we must instill is for our young people to know they are loved by God and loved by us, their parents. They must experience a love that is not based on their performance but on who they are. We love them for who they are, not for what they do. This unconditional love gives them room to grow, but also room to fail while still knowing they are loved. Perhaps the greatest understanding of God’s love for us is not how he treats us when we do everything right, but how he treats us when we don’t. This type of love flies in the face of social media, which often acts as judge and jury and sets an impossible standard to live up to.
3 - How Can Christian Parents Teach Self-Control with Technology?
Like a city whose walls are broken through, is a person who lacks self-control. - Proverbs 25:28
The draw of social media is compounded by its addictive nature. The fact that it has a scrolling feature has been shown to keep people on the platform longer. Before you realize it, you've been looking at a device for hours because the scrolling pulls you in. If this happens to us as adults, what hope do children have? That’s why teaching self-control is important. However, we can’t just teach it; we must live it. Begin by monitoring your own social media usage and creating intentional times throughout the day when you disconnect from devices. I guess you can call it a social media sabbath. It is not enough just to say stay off it. You can use that time to reconnect in other ways and replace the social media activity with something else that is constructive and enjoyable.
4 - How Can Children Learn to Use Social Media Wisely?
We must acknowledge that social media is not going away. Even with laws like those passed in France, social media will not be removed from our culture. It is far too ingrained for that to happen. What it means, then, is that we have an obligation to teach our children how to be responsible users of social media. Perhaps this is the greatest challenge of all, because adults can be just as addicted to social media as children and young people are. Maybe it does not affect their worth and self-esteem to the same level, but we would be foolish to think it has no effect at all. For this reason, it is necessary that we all understand how to use social media responsibly.
Social media will most likely always be a part of the world our children live in, but it does not have to become the place where they discover who they are. If we can teach them to find their identity in Christ, receive love at home, practice self-control, and use technology with wisdom, then we can help them become more than consumers of a digital culture. I believe the answer to the challenge lies in a simple truth found in God’s word. With that, I leave you with a verse that I believe gives us hope even in this age of social media.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. - Proverbs 22:6
Frequently Asked Questions about Children, Social Media, and Identity in Christ
- What happened with France’s under-15 social media ban?
France’s parliament approved a ban on social media access for children under 15, but the country’s Constitutional Council later struck it down over concerns about constitutional freedoms and age-verification safeguards. - Can laws protect children from social media harm?
Laws can help create boundaries and reduce access to harmful spaces, but they cannot replace the heart formation, wisdom, love, and self-control children need from parents and trusted adults. - How can Christian parents help children develop self-worth?
Christian parents can teach children that their worth comes from being created by God, made in His image, loved by Him, and not defined by likes, followers, or online approval. - Why is self-control important for social media use?
Self-control helps children and adults resist compulsive scrolling, set healthy boundaries, protect their attention, and use technology with wisdom instead of being controlled by it. - How can families teach responsible social media use?
Families can teach responsible use by modeling healthy habits, setting device-free times, discussing online risks, practicing discernment, and helping children build identity in Christ before digital approval.
For Further Reading
- What Does It Mean That We Have Been Created in the Image of God?
- What Does It Mean to Be Fearfully and Wonderfully Made?
- What Does the Bible Say about Self-Control?
- Proverbs 22:6 - Start Children Off on the Way They Should Go
- How Can Parents Disciple Kids in a Screen-Saturated World?
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Drazen Zigic
He is the author of The Pursuit of Purpose, which helps readers understand how God leads them into his will, and the author of The Pursuit of Victory: How To Conquer Your Greatest Challenges and Win In Your Christian Life. Clarence is also committed to helping 10,000 people learn how to study the Bible and has released his first course, Bible Study Basics, to achieve that goal. To learn more about his ministry and resources, please visit clarencehaynes.com.
