7 Powerful Ways Walking with Jesus Transforms Loneliness into Hope

One of my fears with writing an article like this is that someone who is lonely and hurting will take it as a list of seven things to do, and if they do it correctly, they won’t be lonely or feel lonely anymore. While I do believe that these things can help and assist—the reality is that loneliness might be something that we endure for a season. It might be one of those inconsolable things. Zack Eswine spoke of inconsolable things this way:

"Inconsolable things” are the sins and miseries that will not be eradicated until heaven comes home, the things that only Jesus, and no one of us, can overcome. We cannot expect to change what Jesus has left unfixed for the moment. The presence of inconsolable things does not mean the absence of Jesus’ power, however. Rather, it establishes the context for it. There, in the midst of what is inconsolable to us, the true, unique nature and quality of Jesus’s power shows itself to be unlike any other power we have seen. (Eswine, The Imperfect Pastor, 93)

Learning to be comfortable in your own company is just another way of saying don’t assume that fixing this thing will make you whole and complete. The reality is that sometimes solitude and even loneliness are seasons that God has us in for a reason. And that reason is often to strengthen us in being our true selves.

The Bible speaks about the importance of solitude and reflection, as seen in Jesus’ own life, where He often went to lonely places to pray (Luke 5:16). When we learn more about ourselves, we end up learning more about God. The two are surprisingly connected. Silence and solitude are sometimes meant to be a gift instead of a burden—they can foster in us a contentment that transcends external circumstances.

This feels incredibly trite to say, but it’s true. You are never truly alone. Even in those moments of “silence and solitude” Christ is present. As believers, our primary relationship is with Jesus, who promises never to leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). By drawing nearer to Him through prayer, Scripture reading, and meditation, we find a friend who understands our deepest needs and meets us with compassion and grace. This relationship fills the gaps left by human connections and provides meaningful comfort and companionship.

But this doesn’t change the fact that God has appointed the means of a flesh and blood physical community whilst He is not embodied among us. There is a reason why when Jesus was on the cross, he gave his mother into the care of John. We need other people. But in those seasons of want—we can press into our relationship with Christ, who truly was acquainted with loneliness.

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Dietrich Bonhoeffer talked about the “wish dream” of community. Part of his point was that we can be dissatisfied with the community that God has given us and always look for greener pastures for a better community. It's important to invest in the community you already have, even if it seems small or imperfect. The New Testament church models this beautifully as believers met regularly, sharing meals and their lives with one another (Acts 2:46-47). It is within the context of the local church where we often feel and experience the hands and feet of Jesus—which is why it’s so painful if a big part of our loneliness is an uncomfortable fellowship with our church family.

Additionally, engaging actively with your existing community allows for mutual growth and encouragement. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together but encouraging one another. You’re needed in the body of Christ.

In our search for connection, it’s tempting to fill our loneliness with substitutes that mimic community but lack depth and genuine interaction, like excessive social media use or superficial relationships. They offer “connectedness” but are poor substitutes for authentic community. What’s worse, they can divert us from seeking what would be truly satisfying. Not that you cannot have an authentic community digitally, but it’s not meant to be a substitute. Do your 10K Instagram followers really know you—or only the “you” that you’ve projected?

There are other shallow replacements for the community, it's not only social media. Real relationships will have vulnerability. You will be known and you will know others. My guess is that this is what your heart is longing for. It’s why you can be in a room full of people, have thousands of followers on social media, be an acquaintance with everyone in your hometown, and still go to bed feeling horribly lonely.

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Serving others is a powerful way to combat loneliness, as it shifts our focus from ourselves to the needs of others. Galatians 5:13-14 calls us to serve one another humbly in love, fulfilling the law of Christ. By engaging in service, whether within our church or the broader community, we not only make a meaningful impact but also connect with others who share a passion for helping. Some of the strongest relationships we develop are in the context of serving others.

Moreover, service provides a sense of purpose and belonging that personal achievements or solitary activities can’t replicate. As we contribute to the welfare of others, we often find our own burdens lightened and our sense of isolation diminished.

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There is creativity that can happen in groups. But some of the most creative moments that we have will be out of a time of solitude. Engaging in creative activities—whether writing, painting, music, or crafts is a way for us to connect with our world. It’s a way for our feet to touch grass and to feel grounded with the rest of humanity. I don’t understand why this happens but creative expression can bring life to your weary soul. Perhaps it is that we are reflecting the creativity of God, who created us in His image (Genesis 1:27). Maybe our loneliness is alleviated because we’re sharing this with our Father.

Additionally, sharing your creativity with others can open new avenues for connection and dialogue. Whether through a community art project, a church choir, or a writing group, these shared creative pursuits can lead to new friendships and strengthen existing ones, enriching your community life with new layers of connection.

Finally, overcoming loneliness often requires taking the initiative to reach out. That’s hard. Especially if you’ve been burned in the past. Many of us have fears that we’ll be rejected—or trapped in another unhealthy relationship. Community is worth the risk. This might involve joining a new group, attending church gatherings, or simply inviting someone for coffee. The Bible encourages us to extend hospitality to one another without grumbling (1 Peter 4:9). Making the first move can be challenging, but it's often the first step toward building new and rewarding relationships.

Remember, reaching out is not just about filling your own needs but also about fulfilling the command to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31).

Conclusion
These aren’t magical solutions. Ultimately, our solution will be found in the finished work of Christ. Some day all those united to Christ will live in perfect community with Christ and with one another. Our loneliness is really a longing for this day to come. This loneliness is a reflection of a world that is marred by sin and brokenness. Use this season of loneliness to proclaim the gospel to yourself and to stir up hope. It will one day be made right, and you’ll never be lonely again. Hold on. This day is coming soon.

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