"I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
Love is all around me
And so the feeling grows
It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go, oh yes, it is
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show, oh ..."
So sang The Troggs in 1967. If you’re reading this around Valentine’s Day, you might have similar feelings. It seems that love and the concept of love are all around you.
If this is the case, that love is all around, what do we make of Jesus’ statement to His disciples? “By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another.” If love is all around us, then what is it about this “love for one another” that is distinct? Is there a love that is uniquely Christian?
There are a few ways that Christian love is distinct.
The Foundation of Christian Love
1 John 4:19 says, “We love because He first loved us.” That tells us that the foundation of love is the love that God has for us. Much has been made of the different Greek words used for love. Many like to point to agape as the unconditional love which God has for humanity. A bit more accurately, agape love is the type of covenantal love that chooses to keep on loving. It is a love that refuses to love. It is similar to the Hebrew word hesed.
Leon Morris speaks of this when he asks:
Why does God love sinners? I have been arguing that He loves them because it is in His nature to love because He is love. Unceasingly, He gives in spontaneous love. He loves not because of what we are but because of what He is: He is love. This is a new and distinct idea in Christianity, though in part of the Old Testament (notably in Hosea), we read about something very much like it. However, it is not found in the non-biblical traditions.[1]
Christian love is different from its very foundation. The selfless and contra-conditional love of God for us, and from whence our love springs, is utterly unique. Christian love, therefore, is not merely a moral obligation or a commendable human trait; it is a divine mandate rooted in the very character of God.
The Scope of Christian Love
In Matthew 5:43-48, Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Jesus challenges conventional norms by urging His followers to love not only their neighbors but also their enemies. This call to love those who may stand opposed to us or even be considered unlovable by societal standards is nothing short of revolutionary. The scope of Christian love extends beyond our point of comfort.
The scope of Christian love, as outlined by Jesus, demands a transformative shift in perspective. We not only love our own, but that love extends to those who are often most unlike us. It proclaims the inherent worth of every individual. Christian love tells us that love isn’t reserved for people who are deserving or even in agreement with us. We love both the “righteous” and the “unrighteous”.
This does not mean that we love everyone in exactly the same way. That’s not to minimize our call to love but to acknowledge there are different loves. I certainly love my wife differently than I love my children. And I love my children differently than I love our congregation. And I love our congregation differently than my buddy who lives across the state. And I love my buddy who lives across the state differently than the lady who rings up my groceries at the grocery store.
This also helps us understand more of what Jesus is saying in John 13. There is a way that Christians love one another that shines differently. In the world, we tend to especially love people who are like us, who share our hobbies, etc. But in the church, sometimes our only connecting point is a shared affection for Jesus, and this propels our love for each other into a different category altogether.
The Fuel of Christian Love
What motivates us to love others? Let me rephrase that. What keeps us going in the deeply committed and covenantal love when times get difficult and earlier feelings of affection begin to wane? It is here that we see another difference between Christian love and its counterpart. Christians have the Holy Spirit who bears within us fruit—like love.
The Spirit makes the gospel come alive in our hearts. And love for one another becomes the unmistakable evidence that we have transitioned from a state of spiritual death to vibrant life, as wrought by the Spirit of God. The Spirit continues to shape us more and more into Christ-likeness, thus fueling our love for one another.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer compares “spiritual love” with “self-centered love.” In his book Life Together, he says it this way:
Self-centered love loves the other for the sake of itself; spiritual love loves the other for the sake of Christ. That is why self-centered love seeks direct contact with other persons. It loves them not as free persons but as those whom it binds to itself. It wants to do everything it can to win and conquer; it puts pressure on the other person. It desires to be irresistible, to dominate…Emotional, self-centered love desires other persons and their company. it wants them to return its love, but does not serve them. On the contrary, it continues to desire even when it seems to be serving.
Two factors, which are really one and the same thing, reveal the difference between spiritual and self-centered love. Emotional, self-centered love cannot tolerate the dissolution of a community that has become false, even for the sake of genuine community. And such self-centered love cannot love an enemy, that is to say, one who seriously and stubbornly resists it…emotional, self-centered love is at an end when it can no longer expect its desire to be fulfilled, namely, in the face of an enemy. There it turns into hatred, contempt, and slander.
Spiritual love, however, begins right at this point. This is why emotional, self-centered love turns into personal hatred when it encounters genuine spiritual love that does not desire but serves. Human love makes itself and end in itself[2]
The motivation, the fuel for love, is simply different for those who have been transformed by Jesus.
The Goal of Love
Finally, Christian love stands out because it has a different aim. We all, or at least those who aren’t sociopaths, care about things like making certain others are physically safe, emotionally well, and financially stable. There is, then, overlap here. Christians want these same things for those we love—well, for everyone, really. But for Christians, we believe that what is truly good for people is to be connected to God through Jesus.
So, when we're thinking about what's good for someone—whether it's their health or their feelings—we're not just hoping they have a good life. We're hoping they experience it as a gift from God, receive it in Jesus' name, and trust the Holy Spirit to use it for God's glory. Anything less than this will leave our hopes unfulfilled. The goal of our love is to see people receive God’s love and, therefore, to see God treasured above all.
Our goal for love isn’t something we see as terminated in the here and now. No, our goal is for eternity. We, just like unbelievers, care about all of the struggles of this world. We, too, are grieved by all the unhappy things we experience. But what we really long for is that those who aren’t at present united to Christ, someday will be. And we want this because it is only in Christ that all the bad things will ultimately become untrue.
The Bible tells us to do everything to honor God (1 Corinthians 10:31), so our goal is to love people in a way that brings glory to Him. We can’t aim for less.
[1] Quoted from: https://www.cslewisinstitute.org/resources/argument-from-agape/
[2] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 24-25
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/kieferpix
Mike Leake is husband to Nikki and father to Isaiah and Hannah. He is also the lead pastor at Calvary of Neosho, MO. Mike is the author of Torn to Heal and Jesus Is All You Need. His writing home is http://mikeleake.net and you can connect with him on Twitter @mikeleake. Mike has a new writing project at Proverbs4Today.
