“I need to cancel our session this week. Money is very tight at the moment, so I have to hold off for a bit.”
The email came a couple of days before our regular appointment.
I felt for my client.
But I felt for me, too. Not just because of the loss of income, but because I genuinely enjoy working with this person.
I like all my clients.
Here’s a fact you may not know about psychologists. We’re not allowed to call our clients, past or present, just to catch up. If I reach out to any client, it’s in the context of our professional relationship, and only while it exists.
Once a client cancels an appointment or leaves my practice, it’s unethical for me to solicit their business—by asking when they can schedule the next appointment, for instance. That’s because the power differential between us may make them feel obligated to continue their treatment with me even if they don’t really want (or need) to.
But back to my current predicament. Because I operate a private practice, my income comes from the clients who keep their appointments. I receive no steady paychecks from any institution.
Working in private practice also means the number of clients I see varies from month to month as current clients may cancel or leave altogether and new ones arrive.
This year, the average number of clients I see on a weekly basis has dipped so low, it has distorted my comfort zone beyond recognition. That’s because when the number of clients also determines my income, a reduction of client hours feels like a threat—especially when the economy is a mess.
So, after receiving the cancelation notice from the client, I sought the Lord. Is there any spiritual lesson I need to learn here? Why do I continue to see an alarmingly low number of client hours? What am I missing? Help!
Psalm 91:2
That’s when I felt led to read Psalm 91. And by the time I completed the first two verses, something clicked.
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2, NKJV)
Did you notice the shift between the first and second verse? The first verse is a general announcement. It’s talking to us, letting us know the benefit of dwelling in God’s secret place.
The second verse strikes a personal tone. Please pardon me for briefly acting like a grammar nerd, but notice how the second verse starts with a first-person pronoun, I, and refers to God using a third-person pronoun, He.
Why does this matter?
Because verse 2 is a ready-made quote for me to talk to someone else—or myself—about God. I can adopt it as my testimony.
It’s something you can use, too, despite the setback you encounter. If you’ve been praying for God to heal you but your symptoms have gotten worse, or if you’ve been looking for a better job but nothing has panned out, or if you’re still single even after years of waiting and praying—basically, if the answer to your prayers has not arrived and your circumstance is still unchanged, you can demonstrate your faith by quoting Psalm 91:2.
This is what I mean. I quoted the following with gusto, out loud:
“Despite these recent challenges in my practice, I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust!’”
“Even though my income has been reduced, I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust!’”
“No matter what happens, I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust!’”
I could feel my faith growing with each repetition. I felt stronger on the inside.
Having Faith Despite Hard Times
With this fortified faith, I started my day and checked my work email.
But my inbox held an unpleasant surprise.
Another client decided to cancel.
Like with the previous one, I emailed my understanding to this particular client.
The second cancelation cemented my determination to stick to my testimony—that is, to keep quoting Psalm 91:2. “No matter how many clients cancel their sessions, I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust!’”
Perhaps this is what “walking by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7, ESV) means.
There’s no need to walk by faith when everything is rosy. By definition, walking by faith means believing in something you don’t see. If your trust fund is so robust it can provide for a small army despite these hard times, you don’t need faith that God will provide. After all, faith “is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1, ESV).
But no matter how taxing your circumstance is, you can choose to believe in God and that He will never go back on His Word—the Bible. “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19).
I can answer that. No. It’s not in God’s nature to speak and not follow through. What He has promised you and me, He will fulfill. As He told prophet Jeremiah, “I am alert and active, watching over My word to perform it” (Jeremiah 1:12, AMPC).
Let’s bring it home to you. I don’t know the kind of challenge you’re facing. Perhaps you feel as though you’ve been contending against multiple challenges across many different areas. Whatever it is you’re battling, I know one thing.
Our God is trustworthy.
That’s why I invite you to join me in walking by faith until our victory arrives.
Please say it with me: I will say of the Lord, “He is our refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust!”
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/francescoch
Audrey Davidheiser, PhD is a California licensed psychologist, certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, and IFSI-approved clinical consultant. After founding and directing a counseling center for the Los Angeles Dream Center, she now devotes her practice to survivors of trauma—including spiritual abuse. If you need her advice, visit her on www.aimforbreakthrough.com
