A Prayer to Fight Feelings of Shame
By Heather Caliri
Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. - Psalm 34:5
My most consistent spiritual discipline has been shaming myself about spiritual disciplines. Is that really what God wants for me?
Shame takes a lot of mental energy. It also makes spending time with God seem like a chore, something I do because I should, not because I’m legitimately thirsty. Shame is incredibly corrosive.
Here’s what’s crazy: the shame is a lie. I’m not in charge of my spiritual life; Jesus is. I’m not responsible for healing and change; Jesus is. And even if I don’t feel adequate, Jesus most certainly is.
Turning over that shame to him is a work in progress, though. Here’s how I’m practicing.
I’d like to want to pray as much as I want to go play a round of Angry Birds. Sometimes I do want that, of course: praying with my prayer partner, resting on the Sabbath, studying the Word in my small group brings me lasting joy. But often, at 8 pm, I don’t feel like picking up my Bible. I’d rather go zone out.
The usual ‘disciplined’ response to this conundrum is to try harder. But I have a tricky relationship with trying harder after experiencing abuse (spiritual and otherwise) early in my life. I spent years being “good” under threat. Trying harder repeats patterns that shredded me.
I sense God tugging me towards surrender instead of more effort. When I feel shame about not wanting to pray, I stop, and offer up a super-simple, one sentence prayer:
Help me desire to come close to you, Jesus.
I’m trying not to judge the results. I’m trying to stop trying and start depending. To trust that God can change even me.
Shame lies about how hard I have to work at faith. Shame keeps me blind to the ways God is already growing and healing me. Shame substitutes a checklist for a relationship. It uses the logic of the marketplace instead of the dear, loving embrace of a Father.
I’m dropping my yardstick and falling to the ground, ready to depend on the One who whispers beloved.
God, these tiny little prayers feel like cheating. Does that even count? Yes, I know they do. Help me combat these feelings of shame by speaking truth, by offering up these small prayers of surrender as I can and trusting they are enough. Give me freedom from the shame I am feeling. Help me fix my thoughts on you, not on my past, my failures or hurts. Give me eyes to see your goodness. Amen.
This devotional was taken in part from Heather Caliri’s article, 3 Ways to Stop Striving and Start Resting in Jesus. You can read that piece in full here.
Related Resource: 5 Things Parents Need to Tell Their Kids About War Right Now
When war dominates the headlines, parents are left asking an important question: How do we talk to our kids about it? In this episode of March or Die, Jeremy Stalnecker shares practical and biblical principles for guiding young people through confusing and frightening global events.
Drawing from his experience as a Marine who lived through the wars following 9/11, Jeremy explains why moments of global conflict can become powerful opportunities for parents to teach their children about courage, faith, and moral clarity. Rather than avoiding difficult conversations, parents can use them to help their kids understand fear, the reality of evil in the world, and the responsibility we have to stand for what is right.
This conversation explores how parents can alleviate fear, explain why conflict exists, and demonstrate a faith-filled response when the world seems chaotic. Jeremy also discusses the importance of teaching children the difference between necessary and unnecessary violence, why standing against evil matters, and how faith in God provides stability even in uncertain times. If this episode of March or Die helped your spiritual perspective, be sure to follow the show on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
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