A Prayer of Comfort for Families Missing Their Fallen Military Heroes
By Lynette Kittle
“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful servants” - Psalm 116:15
Dr. Jerry Newcombe, Executive Director of Providence Forum, explains, “We are free in large part because others sacrificed on our behalf that we might be free. Memorial Day is an annual reminder of the debt we owe to those who died while serving our country.”
“It’s a time to honor the fallen. To honor those who have played the last full measure of devotion to our nation,” adds Newcombe.
Losing a beloved family member isn’t ever easy, and when a loved one is a member of the Armed Forces and loses their life through war, conflict, exercise, or accident, dying as a fallen hero doesn’t hurt any less for the family. Whether a member of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, or U.S. Coast Guard is lost, the grief and sorrow are often overwhelming and especially tragic for close family and friends.
Because the general public views them as fallen heroes deserving of patriotic honor, many may mistakenly think that this somehow helps to soften the blow of the loss to their family members. But for many families, it can be extremely difficult to accept and process, especially because their passing is without warning, unexpected, and with no opportunity to say goodbye.
Complicated Passing
As a hospice chaplain, my husband tells me how unexpected deaths, being apart from someone when they pass away, or not being able to say goodbye all make the grieving process more complicated. Grief is hard enough, even when we know the passing of a loved one is about to happen. For Christians, too, especially if family members were praying for God’s divine protection over their military loved ones. It can feel like He didn’t hear and answer their prayers, which can cause a crisis in personal faith in Jesus Christ.
The High Cost of Freedom
Newcombe writes how, on November 21, 1864, President Abraham Lincoln wrote Mrs. Bixby of Massachusetts, a mother who had lost five sons in the Civil War, saying: “I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.”
“I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.”
Where to Turn
2 Corinthians 1:3 directs us where to turn in times of grief. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.”
This rings true for families who have faced the tragic loss of their military loved ones. Clarence “Bud” Clay, the father of fallen Marine Dan Clay, who was killed December 1, 2005, in Iraq, stated, “God gives you what you need when you need it.”
“Now it doesn’t mean we don’t have times when it [grief] doesn’t kind of roll over you like a wave,” explains Bud, “but you just kind of swallow and go on. This is not the end. Dan’s home and I will see him again.”
Like 2 Corinthians 7:6 assures, God comforts us in sorrow, as the Clay family experienced. He also gives us the hope and promise of seeing our fallen heroes again.
How God Views Their Loss of Life
God doesn’t take the loss of our military loved ones lightly. As Martin Luther stated, "The death of His saints is held to be of value."
He gives His Holy Spirit to comfort us in our grief. “And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever” (John 14:16).
God promises new life for our fallen heroes who trust in Him. In John 11:25, “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die.”
Let’s pray:
Dear Father,
Our hearts are deeply grateful for the men and women who have served in the Armed Forces and put their lives on the line for our nation. Many of these brave individuals have lost their lives during their service in the military. The loss of their lives is a great loss to our nation, and especially to their family and friends. We remember them today and ask you to comfort their loved ones who are missing their presence here on earth.
Be near, O Lord, to the families who are brokenhearted. Heal their hearts and bind up their wounds. Although no one can ever replace them in the hearts of those who love them, we ask You for Your peace to abide within each person who is missing their fallen hero.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photo credit: Chad Madden/Unsplash
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
Related Resource: How to Choose Your One Word for 2026
This month on the How to Study the Bible Podcast, we’re starting a new series called One Word 2026, and it’s meant to be a gentle but intentional way to reflect, respond, and reconnect with God as we begin the year. In this episode, I’m walking you through why I love taking the whole month of January to pause and listen — rather than rushing into resolutions or putting pressure on yourself to “get it all together” by January 1. We’re going to start with Philippians 1:3–11, where Paul reminds us that we can have real confidence because God is still working in us, and He’s not finished.
Then I’m going to share six words I’ve been praying over for our community — six spiritual intentions that I believe reflect the kind of growth God may be inviting us into this year. You don’t have to choose one right away, and you definitely don’t have to force it — but I hope that one of these words will resonate in your spirit and give you a steady anchor for 2026.
This episode is part of our How to Study the Bible Podcast, a show that brings life back to reading the Bible and helps you understand even the hardest parts of Scripture. If this episode helps you know and love God more, be sure to subscribe to the How to Study the Bible Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
