The opposite of gratitude is complaint. Habitual complaining creates a negative environment in which it is difficult to experience God's peace. Several years ago pastor Will Bowen challenged his congregation in Kansas City, Missouri, to wear purple bracelets as a way of monitoring their efforts to eliminate the habit of complaining from their lives. Since then, his organization, A Complaint Free World, has distributed nearly six million of these bracelets to people worldwide. Bowen challenges people to break their habit of complaining by placing a bracelet on their wrist. Every time they complain, they are to switch the bracelet to the other wrist. The goal is to go for twenty-one days without needing to switch the bracelet. It's gimmicky, but several people attested to the effectiveness of this simple idea.
One person reported that she no longer suffers from migraines since she stopped complaining.
Another man, a beauty salon owner from Texas, decided to paint the break room of his salon purple. Across the wall he stenciled the words: "A Complaint Free World." Then he handed each employee a bracelet along with a book and CD about the program, promising a reward to anyone who completed the 21-day challenge. The first day was fun. The second not so much. On Wednesday, three of his employees walked out, saying they no longer cared to work at a place in which management refused to confront problems. Troubled by their departure, the owner prayed that night about whether he was doing the right thing. As he prayed, he realized that these three people were his biggest complainers. Staff members responded to the news of their departure with the response: "Thank God they're gone; they were always so negative." After hiring three new employees who produce twice the revenue of the three who quit, he frequently gets pulled aside by customers who tell him that what makes his beautiful salon such a great place to be is the people who work there.
Convinced by their stories, I've taken to wearing my own purple bracelet. So far, I've managed to keep it on the same wrist for a maximum of two days, a pitiful record, especially since I was spending the majority of the work day alone in my office writing. At one point I even complained about wearing the bracelet!
Benjamin Disraeli is said to have remarked that he felt an unusual sensation. "If it is not indigestion," he quipped, "I think it must be gratitude." Breaking the habit of complaining can be a first step in becoming a more grateful person. It's hard to see all the good in our lives while we are fixated on all the bad.
Habitual complaining is a dysfunctional way of dealing with difficulty, a way of rehearsing our grievances without making any attempt to resolve them. We think that complaining will make us feel better, perhaps by doing so we are letting off steam or assigning blame for whatever is bothering us. But a habit of complaining simply reinforces our discontent, spreading our dissatisfaction to others.
* The stories outlined here, I read on www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/stories on October 6, 2010. The website has since been reorganized, with the stories displayed on a rotating basis on https://www.willbowen.com/complaintfree/.
