College isn't in every child's future, but it's a huge milestone for many. No matter how much thought, care, and planning we and our children put into the final decision of which school to attend, a lot may change once they arrive. Scrolling through social media as the people I follow travel through the same era as I, I notice college kids transferring schools, changing their majors, and opting to stay ...or return home. My children haven't left yet, so my knowledge is limited, but having the privilege of learning from and observing so many, I've determined that finding a one-size-fits-all solution isn't an option. What do we do, then, to prepare our kids for college, if that's the path they chose?
Preparation for college begins as soon as we know our kids are coming into the world. Every piece of truth we sew into their hearts and train up in their minds sets them on the path to find God’s will for their lives. We don’t know what that is or entails. That's the letting-go part. But we can teach them to see themselves as God does, and to recognize His voice of direction as they discover the unique gifts, talents, and millions of idiosyncrasies that are unique to them. Some things are so deeply woven in our children that only God will ever know that part of their heart. The most valuable thing we can do as parents is to spend time with our children at every stage of life.
The full life Jesus promised is what we wish and pray for our babies since the day we find out they're coming. But how do we get them there? It’s not easy. The journey sharpens us in places we’d rather keep private. If we are doing it right, we find ourselves clinging to Christ as our prayer lives mature by default.
I will share with you the wisdom God has woven into my story as a mom, as I get ready to send my oldest daughter off to college in just a little over a year. I exhort you to connect with God often and seek out the wise, godly parents He has placed in your life who have gone ahead of you. Love your children unconditionally. Get to know them. Don't compare them. They are irreplaceably awesome, and time is a thief.
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1. Seek Jesus, Yourself.
Our personal journey with Christ has the most profound effect on our children. Kids are elite noticers. From the time they can see us, their sweet infant eyes track us across the room when we walk away. They know the sound of our footsteps coming to pick them up out of their cribs, and they need our comfort when a boo boo tracks them down. How much more do they notice what we make time for? Kids listen to our conversations – over the phone and in person. I catch mine peeking at my text messages all the time. They are master imitators- intentionally at first, but later by default.
The way we conduct our everyday lives affects who they become. I remember locking myself in the bathroom to get five minutes of devotional time when I was a new mom. My daughters and I joke that when the wheels fall off my day, it's probably because I didn't get to my quiet time. They have watched my relationship with Jesus grow throughout their lives. His movement in our everyday lives is a normal part of our conversations. We pray with and for each other. The first step in preparing our kids for college is teaching them how to find Jesus and live daily life with Him. Having the right answer to their questions pales in importance to knowing how to point them to Him.
The world is a mission field, full of people who need to know they are loved. God made each of us so wonderfully, and it's important for our kids to know -not only how much Jesus loves them, but everyone else, too! As our children get to know Jesus, they can be excited about all the different people they will get to meet in the next chapter of their lives. I surely didn't have a very mature faith when I was 18, and they don't have to, either. No matter where they are in their journey, Jesus will always meet them, right there.
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2. Model Living in Community
Life within the love of Christ includes a lot of people the Lord places in our lives on purpose. And we need those people. Over the course of their lives, my daughters have learned to do life with people.
Soon after my first daughter was born, I decided to stay home, and I knew face-to-face connection was going to be key to my survival. I took them places, and we talked with people, all the time. I joined a women's Bible study at my church. Our home has always been a revolving door of friends and mommas. I'm no connection expert, I just left the house. I volunteered. When we were home, I opened the door. And drove them all wherever they needed to go.
We teach our kids how to live in community and operate as the church by living in community and becoming an active part of the local church. Encourage them to get involved along the way. As they got older, I required mine to pick a sport to be involved in and a way to serve at church. Take care of your body. Take care of your soul.
Jesus told us the most important thing in life is to love God and love people. A college checklist full of achievements is fruitless in the eyes of the Lord without the skill of loving the people He has placed in their lives effectively. The people whom they love and feel related to, and those who hurt them badly. Both extremes of the pendulum are equally valuable in developing that muscle of faith we call forgiveness. It starts before they can speak. Healing is hard. When it's natural for them to connect, serve, and do life with the people God places in it, they will thrive in community wherever they go next. Teach them the importance of treating all people equally and craving diversity, because that's how God loves us, the way He created us, and what we are called to pass on.
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3. Fill Them with Truth
Our children need to know who God says they are:
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”- Psalm 139:14
“ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” -Colossians 3:23
They are here on purpose and loved for who they are. They are never alone and are always forgiven in Christ Jesus. Here are 5 simple ways to sew truth into your children at any age:
-Daily Quiet Time.
There are books, podcasts, and probably TikTok channels with age-appropriate devotionals for kids. Pick one and start a nightly devotional routine. Children love one-on-one time. Over time, they begin to realize that it’s not only time with us they are craving, but with Jesus. Life is hard and full of challenges, but it's also laced with joy and blessing. Quiet time can become a part of who they are and what they know as normal. A tool that they will take with them when they go.
-Church Family
Be an active part of the local church. We belong to our present church because of the immediate impact the kids’ ministry had on their lives. The truth that has been sewn into their hearts in that ministry is something they now do as volunteers.
Encourage them to find a place to serve at church. Serving others teaches them about how God created their hearts. When we are serving others, it flips that sinful, selfish switch we’re all born with and allows us to walk in freedom with God as we find our place in his kingdom on earth.
Connect them with a youth group. Youth groups foster their faith and allow them to learn how to be witnesses for Christ at their schools, jobs, and on their sports teams. Finding people who will echo the same truths to our children is important.
-Bible Study
Connect them to a small group/Bible study. I started a Bible study for my oldest daughter and some of the girls her age when they were in 4th or 5th grade - we called it “Breakfast Club,” after my favorite 90’s movie which they had no reference to, and the fact we met on Saturdays, made breakfast and talked about Jesus. Small group Bible study creates a safe place for kids to grow, ask questions, serve others, share wins, and shed some tears. Small groups take effort and prioritization, but it's worth it.
-Jesus Cards
"Jesus cards," are little cards with scriptures on them. I started sending them in my daughters’ lunch boxes …and they asked for more …so they could share them. In middle school, the “Breakfast Club” put them all over the school and gave them to teachers. Little do they know the eternal impact they probably made, but I hope my daughters and their friends find those cards shoved everywhere as they go off to live the next stage of their lives. Try it! It's a great way to teach kids how timely God's Word is, and how He always knows exactly what they need to hear.
-Decorate with It.
Put scripture where kids will see it, often. When we built our current home, we went around with friends and Sharpies and wrote scripture all over the framework. When it was finished, I chose pieces to decorate with that have Scripture on them and placed them front and center, in places we will look at them often. Intentionally place truth where your kids can see it. Many days, I need the reminder, too.
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4. Pray
“Are you praying about it as much as you're talking/worrying about it?”
Growing a gut instinct to pray "about everything" in our kids is important. It begins with us. Pray during conversations ...for answers or patience! Pray at bedtime together, but also throughout the day as things trouble them or as we find ourselves grateful, having fun, and enjoying life.
Prayer is the balm to our souls. There are so many things we cannot control. We can prepare the best we can for every situation, but then we must allow the element of prayer to kick in and go to work. My oldest is a Type 1 Diabetic, so I feel, as other parents with children with disabilities and challenges know, our prayer life has been in overdrive since her diagnosis a few years ago. There are emergencies I will not be there to navigate with her when she moves on to the next phase of her life.
Praying for our kids is powerful. Pick one verse to pray over your children each day during your quiet time. Text it to them. Routinely pray, because prayer is not only powerful, but it reminds us that God loves our kids even more than we do, and that ushers peace into our anxious hearts.
4 Awesome Bedtime Prayers for Kids to Pray
4 Heartfelt Prayers for My Children’s Protection
A Prayer for Your Child's Future
10 Prayers for Your Children to Say throughout the Day
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5. Encourage Them
“God would not put a dream in your heart if he didn’t want you to chase it,” I have always taught my girls, “it may not turn out the way you think it will …it will be better than you can imagine.”
Faith reminds us to believe in what we cannot see. There are a lot of unknowns in parenting, including preparing for college. Encourage children to dream big, work hard, and have fun from an early age. Jesus promised us a full life! He didn’t say it would be easy, and we all know the heartache of living this side of heaven. But don’t let them settle for less than they are capable of. Teach the value and importance of working hard at everything God gives them to do, whether it's a simple chore, a homework assignment, a dance performance, or serving at church. Take time to get to know your kids, and pray to be able to see them as God does.
Believe in their dreams, and encourage them to go for it! So often in life, we’re ready to pivot to plan B before we exhaust our efforts to achieve plan A. Who are we to discourage a dream that God wove into their hearts? Encourage them to work hard (Colossians 3:23) and go for it! Remind them to pray about it even more than they are preparing and working. (Never stop praying, 1 Thes. 5:18) Is it scary to think about what will happen next? Yes! There are few guarantees in life, but that's where our faith kicks in. We teach them, in real time, to trust God. I believe no matter the details of our situation, if we place God at the center of our lives, we will check what is most important on our life lists along the way.
Practical Ways to Encourage Kids:
-Tell them you prayed for them today.
-Pause to pray with them.
-Write a note or stick a "Jesus card" in their lunch box, backpack, shoe, car cupholder ... wherever they will see it.
-Get to know what their favorite things are and surprise them from time to time.
-Spend quality one-on-one time with them.
-Be there whenever you can - at their sporting events, concerts, school presentations, etc.
-Listen. When they are ready to talk, try to stop what you're doing if you can, and just listen to them.
-Speak affirming Scripture to and over them.
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6. Tithe and Save
"Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be." - Matthew 6:21
Learning how to earn, tithe, spend, and save money is important. Most budgets are down to the wire, and week to week, so this is a difficult practice to incorporate. Teaching our children the importance of tithing and generosity can start as soon as they start receiving an allowance or start their first job. It becomes a habit, and they begin to learn the value of following God's lead in their lives. We can teach our children by the habits we foster, ourselves, and the way we prayerfully manage our money.
5 Easy Ways to Teach Kids to Tithe and Save
1. Tithe - From the time they earn a small allowance, help them learn why we tithe and how to do so.
2. Work -When they are old enough, help them find a job, and learn how to be a good employee.
3. Debit Cards with Parent Controls - These cards give parents the ability to control what their kids are allowed to spend, and kids get to learn how to manage their money.
4. Financial literacy - Some local high schools offer this class to students.
5. Missions and Summer Camps - Missions teach kids to fundraise and to be generous with their time and treasure in order to help others. Go on a trip if you can! My oldest daughter and I went to El Salvador on a mission trip, and it changed our lives.
Summer Camp often requires fundraising, too, and teaches them the value of investing in their faith.
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7. Talk about Mental Health ...A Lot.
The mental health statistics for future generations are staggering. There's undoubtedly going to be a time in most of their lives when their mental health needs to be addressed, and they need the tools to know how to recognize when they need help and how to find it. Navigating technology for kids and parents comes with a huge learning curve. Parental restrictions are helpful, but as they get older, conversations build value behind discipline. "It's not your fault," I often say to my daughters, "it's something everyone in your generation has to deal with." Taking the pressure off our children helps to crack the door open to a deeper conversation. "The facts are, increased screen time has a terrible effect on your mental health." Statistics on all of this are easy to find, and I have found that presenting facts and coming alongside them is more effective than consequences without conversations.
Pay attention, and know when to tag a counselor in. Youth leaders are amazing resources, too. People who know and care for our kids make a big impact on their mental health as they show up to listen and pour into them. But sometimes, a professional counselor or psychologist and the skills God built into them are what our children need to move from being stuck to flourishing again. They can't be allowed to feel ashamed or broken for struggling with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. Most of the kids their age are struggling with those things on some level, at some point in time. Come alongside them in conversation about those things, long before a problem is suspected. Aim to be a safe, forgiving, empathetic, and loving presence no matter what. When they move on to the next stage, they will know to pick up the phone and call, or seek out the help they recognize they need.
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A Prayer to Prepare Our Kids for College
Father,
You are incredibly faithful to remind us who you are and that we are yours. You know parts of our hearts we, ourselves, don’t even know! Your plans for us and our children are good! Help us to check these things off the list in our daily lives, God. Grow these habits, truths, and qualities of godliness in us as we prepare our children and our own hearts for the next leg of their journey. Don’t let fear of the unknown – or known- take over, God! Protect and guard our hearts in Christ Jesus today, and always! Holy Spirit, control our minds, and help us wrangle our rogue thoughts. Thank you for providing for us, Jehovah-Jirah! Bless our finances, as we prepare to send our children to college. You are a miracle-working God- who are we to limit the dreams you place in our children’s hearts …and in our hearts for them?! Let it be, God! Your will, and your purpose, for us, and them. All glory and honor to You, and You alone! May our lives, and our children’s, and their children’s…point straight back to Jesus.
In His Glorious Name,
Amen.
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Originally published Monday, 12 May 2025.