Several years ago, one of the nation’s top 3 leading credit companies, Equifax, was hacked. Over a hundred million people's credit card details and bank statements were exposed. The risk of fraud significantly increased due to the compromise of security and the exposure of personal identity.
Our identity is exposed in crisis, especially one like that hack. We don’t think about how we define ourselves until an outside or unexpected event shows us that we’ve been building our self-worth on a bad foundation.
Recently, I got an email that included harsh criticism, even questioning the validity of my faith. Though I’ve made significant progress in overcoming insecurity, the lies I used to believe began sneaking back into my heart. I was tempted to abandon the truth of what God says about me.
The late author and priest Henri Nouwen famously listed “5 Lies We Believe About Our Identity.” His list accurately describes our battle with insecurity. However, as I share each of the lies Nouwen identified, I want to do what Paul describes in 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” With each lie, I also want to share the truth, which can displace it.
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1. I Am What I Have.
When we buy into this lie, we seek security through accumulation. We believe accumulating the newest items and most popular experiences will make us feel more secure. However, as we realize that whatever we obtain either breaks down or every trip eventually ends, we feel more insecure than before acquiring that thing. The iPhone we were so excited to purchase feels normal in a few days. The home we have been dreaming of fails to satisfy our soul.
The Truth: You Were Made By God.
We are not made as a result of random events. Nor are we the product of our hard work or education. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we were created in God's image. We reflect the qualities and nature of our creator. Ephesians 2:10 employs powerful language, referring to us as God’s workmanship or masterpiece (depending on the translation).
The things we buy are excellent goods but terrible gods. While something I buy cannot secure my identity, my identity in God’s eyes is secure. Who God says I am is the truest thing about me. Psalm 139:13-16 describes God’s intimate knowledge of us and His role in declaring our worth.
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2. I Am What I Do.
Whether it’s a job, a title, or a skill, we’re good at defining ourselves by what we do. In a world where we may either retire, age out of the ability to perform our job, or unexpectedly lose that role, this path is extremely perilous. When we attend an event, we introduce ourselves by what we do. While the world may label and categorize us by our work and titles, our true value is far bigger than the roles we play.
The Truth:- God Knows You Better Than Anyone Else.
We are familiar with the people we follow on social media. We know what they do because of what they post. But no one knows us as profoundly as God does. To Him, we are much more than the things other people see us do. Psalm 139:13-16 tells us that God knew us from our mother’s womb, aware of details like the hairs on our heads. David states that none of his thoughts are hidden from God, and there is nowhere he can flee from God’s presence. We are exposed to God, and who we are to Him is the totality of our thoughts, feelings, fears, dreams, and prayers.
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3. I Am What Other People Say or Think of Me.
Due to social media and modern technology, it’s never been easier to know what others think of us. We buy into the lie that popularity, approval from others, and their acceptance define who we are. Our sense of well-being becomes tied up in the fickle and ever-changing opinions of others. When we buy into this lie, we end up living for the approval of others and dying from their rejection.
The Truth: God Loves You More Than Everyone Else.
I hope people have told you, “I love you,” during your life. Because God’s love for you would eclipse them all if you brought all those people together. According to John 3:16, God’s love motivated Him to send Jesus to earth to die in your place. 1 John 3:16 reiterates the same point, stating that we know love through God laying down His life for us. The cross is the eternal symbol of God’s great love for you. At a time when we often wonder, “Would anyone love me if they knew what was truly going on inside of me?” the cross is God’s defiant YES!
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4. I Am Nothing More Than My Worst Moment.
We’ve all had moments we wish we could take back. Words we wish we could unsay, and reactions we want to we could do over again. Some of us have moments when we feel like we've ruined our relationships, futures, or the lives of others. In light of those moments, it’s easy to be deceived into thinking we are forever defined by our worst moment. But who we are is bigger than any one moment. As long as we breathe, there are more moments to experience God’s love and grace.
The Truth: God's Love for You Cannot Be Lost by Your Worst Moment.
Peter didn’t lose God’s love three times when he denied Jesus during His trial. Thomas didn’t lose God’s love when he doubted Jesus’ resurrection. David didn’t lose God’s love when he committed heinous sins as Israel’s king. If these three men and the countless others we meet in the Bible are not beyond God’s love, then neither are we! Romans 8:37-38 tells us that nothing in this world can separate us from God’s love. When we live based on lies, God invites us to repent and return to His love.
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5. I Am Nothing Less Than My Best Moment.
This might surprise you as an inclusion in this list. But, we often build our identity on our successes and most significant moments. It makes sense - they’re the moments when we won! However, as equally dangerous as our identity being reduced to our worst moment, an identity based solely on success is fragile and fleeting, too. A moment of success or achievement does not fully define us, as it likely won’t endure and can be eclipsed by the accomplishments of others.
The Truth: God's Love for You Cannot Be Earned By Your Best Moment.
Our best moments don’t earn us God’s love, for nothing can do that. Ephesians 2:9 tells us that salvation is not by works, so that no one can boast. Romans 5:8 tells us that Christ died for us while we were still sinners. He came for us at our worst, and He loved us in that moment just as much as He did our best. Championships, awards, and bonuses are grand, and they’re worthy of celebration! But, they don’t earn us what we already have - God’s unconditional love! The pressure is off to sustain the performance because we already have His applause.
In his book, "Kill the Spider," best-selling author Carlos Whittaker discusses how we overcome the lies in our lives. He has a three-step process which I’ve found helpful. He says we must identify the lie, renounce it, and replace it with the truth.
If you have bought into one of the five lies listed above, I encourage you to follow Carlos’ advice. Today, I encourage you to name that lie. Whether you say it out loud to yourself or tell a friend, call out the lie. Then, renounce it. Decide that the lie will no longer drive or burden you. And then determine to replace it with God’s truth.
Our identity is the foundation upon which we build our lives and work, based on what we believe to be true. When we build on an insecure foundation, which is in danger of shifting or crumbling, we easily become anxious, insecure, afraid, and unsettled.
God’s love is a secure foundation that gives us the freedom to be peaceful, courageous, and resolved. This foundation is based upon truth, not lies. We can be brave in following Jesus because we know our success or failure won’t change who we are. What God says about us will always be true!
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Through his writing and speaking, Scott loves helping people find hope and healing in the middle of places they never planned to be. He is married to Danalyn, aka Judge Savage, and they’re raising three brilliant children. You can learn more about Scott at ScottSavageLive.com or follow him on social media (@scottsavagelive).
Originally published Monday, 12 May 2025.