Valentine’s Day is a holiday filled with expressions of love: heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, bouquets of roses, and adorable teddy bears marked with the words “I love you.” While this day offers a fun and exciting way to tell others we love them, there is much more to true love than romantic gestures. In the whirlwind of emotions, we forget that loving others and being loved can be costly.
As C. S. Lewis quotes in his book The Four Loves, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one.”
Unlike the world’s depiction of love, true love is raw, self-sacrificing, and oftentimes painful. Relationships are hard, such as those between husband and wife, parent and child, siblings, and friends. To love others is to be willing to give our very lives for another, as our Savior showed us.
Love Is More Than a Feeling
Many people think that love is just an emotion you feel. When viewed as a feeling, love is nothing more than a warm or pleasant sensation. People can fall in and out of love if it is only an emotion. However, the Bible offers a different perspective.
Love is more than a feeling. It is something you do. The Apostle John reminds us of this truth in his letter, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18). When we care about someone, we will reveal our love in the way we behave and treat that person (James 2:16; 1 John 3:17).
Loving others in our actions is a way to reflect God’s love. He did not just feel affection toward humans, kindly wishing us well. Instead, “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8, NLT).
The greatest love that anyone can ever know is found in Jesus Christ. Because He chose to die in the place of sinful humans, we can freely receive His gift of salvation if we place our faith in Him (Ephesians 2:5, 8-9).
As Jesus showed us, love is a choice. He could have left us in our sin with the punishment we deserve (Romans 3:23; 6:23). Yet, He willingly laid down His life (John 10:18). In following Christ’s example, we can also choose to love others.
At times, we will not feel overly affectionate or compassionate toward others, but we can still choose to show them Christ’s love. In fact, loving difficult people or even our enemies is a defining mark of a follower of Jesus (Luke 6:27).
Laying Down Our Lives for Others
Christ’s love is greater than any other love in the world. He died so we could receive eternal life (John 3:16). Now, Jesus calls believers to love others as He loves us (John 15:12). As He said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
Willingness to lay aside your desires and needs for the benefit of others is what it means to love others sacrificially.
Instead of seeking His own good or comfort, Jesus humbled Himself and came to earth as a man (Philippians 2:7-8). Enduring intense pain and suffering during His crucifixion, Christ took on the role of a servant to give His life as a ransom for the sins of the world (Matthew 20:28). God the Son lovingly gave up His life for those who did not deserve such mercy.
Just as Christ set aside His desires and needs, we can choose to do the same for others. However, we must acknowledge and accept that loving others will be hard and can us cause pain.
When a friend pushes us away because of depression or a loved one fights against our attempts to tell them the gospel, we will experience heartache. If we are Christ-followers, though, we will continue to love even if it is painful. He has called us to nothing less than sacrificial love.
Radical and Countercultural Love
To continue loving others even when it hurts is contrary to the views of the world. In modern society, people regularly leave friends, family, and spouses if relationships are challenging. This does not mean that Christ wants us to stay in abusive relationships. However, He does call us to a countercultural way of life.
For instance, during New Testament times, people could divorce their spouses for any reason. Even a poorly made dinner was grounds for a divorce. Jesus radically addressed this popular practice of divorce by stating that a husband or wife could only divorce their spouse because of adultery (Matthew 5:31-32).
People in abusive relationships are also allowed to divorce according to Scripture since a man should treat his wife as Christ lovingly treats the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
Jesus’ teaching about divorce is just as ground-breaking and controversial today because people are constantly getting divorced and remarrying. The reason marriage relationships are difficult is that loving others as Christ loves us is hard and sometimes painful.
Another biblical example of the countercultural way of life Jesus calls us to is the way He dealt with differences in social class and ethnicity. Although Christ was a respected teacher, He associated with tax collectors and sinners, the lowest class of society (Matthew 9:10-11).
Instead of turning away in hatred, Jesus poured out His love to the poor and needy. He regularly dined with the outcasts in society and was known as a friend of sinners (Matthew 11:19).
When he gave a parable about loving our neighbor as ourselves, Jesus made a Samaritan the “hero” of the story (Luke 10:33).
The Jewish people despised Samaritans, yet Christ repeatedly knocked down social barriers between these two groups of people. He also affirmed that salvation is for all people, both Jew and Gentile (Acts 10:13-15, 34-36).
God does not want us to limit our love to those who love us. He wants us to show His sacrificial love to all people, even those who may look or think differently than we do.
To connect with others who are unlike us is a formidable task, but the Lord has given us all the resources we need to love radically and counterculturally through His Spirit and His Word (Galatians 5:22; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; 2 Peter 1:3).
Why Is This Important?
The world commonly depicts love as merely a strong emotion that can come and go. People often relish the pleasant feeling of love but withdraw from relationships that become challenging or tedious.
Today, people desire close connections yet often do not want to invest their lives in others. However, true love, as shown to us by Jesus, is sacrificial. He laid down His life so we could experience salvation. Even though His loving act meant pain and suffering, He still chose to die in our place.
We are called to love others as Jesus loved us, which includes investing in difficult relationships and acting in love toward others, including those who are different from us. As 1 John 4:11 reminds us, “Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” Sacrificial love is important because of the message of the cross.
For further reading:
Are We Willing to Be Offered as a Living Sacrifice?
What Does the Bible Really Say about Love?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/kevron2001
Sophia Bricker is a freelance writer who enjoys researching and writing articles on biblical and theological topics. In addition to contributing articles about biblical questions as a contract writer, she has also written for Unlocked devotional. She holds a BA in Ministry, a MA in Ministry, and is currently pursuing an MFA in Creative Writing to develop her writing craft. As someone who is passionate about the Bible and faith in Jesus, her mission is to help others learn about Christ and glorify Him in her writing. When she isn’t busy studying or writing, Sophia enjoys spending time with family, reading, drawing, and gardening.
