I gave the delivery driver a sad smile and shook my head.
“Send them back,” I said flatly, as I shut my front door as politely as I could.
I drew in a deep breath, put my cell phone on silent, and returned to my friends Ben and Jerry, who waited quietly on the coffee table in front of my couch. I dug out a cherry from the melting pint of ice cream and flipped through the endless options on the TV, quickly skipping by the Hallmark channel and any other reminder that my love life was anything but bliss on this cold Valentine’s Day.
I felt my phone vibrating near my leg and rolled my eyes. It was on silent mode, but I should’ve just turned it off. I knew it would be mere moments before my husband would plead his case. But I didn’t want flowers. I wanted faithfulness. I didn’t need apologies. I needed accountability. But we both knew that cost substantially more than the red roses I’d just denied.
Being lonely on Valentine’s Day can feel painful. Being lonely while married on Valentine’s Day can feel punishing. And that’s exactly how I felt. The emotional distance caused by my husband’s betrayal cut deep, and no gift could gloss over the gaping hole the wound left behind.
Maybe you find yourself in a similar state of mind this Valentine’s Day. You’re fighting loneliness while everyone around you seems to be celebrating love. Yay them.
Loneliness Is a Real Part of the Human Story
Throughout Scripture, we find that even faithful, God-fearing people felt the sting of loneliness. Take a brief scroll through the Psalms, and you’ll hear the aching echo of David’s cries to the Lord: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Psalm 25:16). After Elijah had been faithful to God’s command, he found himself running for his life, with no one to comfort him. “I alone am left,” he reasoned (I Kings 19:10). Even Jesus pleaded with God not to abandon him as he hung on the cross, panting the iconic question,
“My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?” - Matthew 27:46
None of these three had done anything wrong to warrant their loneliness. It was just a necessary part of their journey. How might your heart be encouraged if you realized that loneliness might be part of the necessary ingredients for your journey, too?
ALSO SEE: Bids for Connection & Attention Plus The Cure for Loneliness in Relationships
Embracing this understanding sets the foundation for you to accept the things you cannot change and gives you the strength to see how loneliness can work in your favor.
Photo Credit:©Unsplash/Alex Ivashenko
1. Name the Feeling. Don’t Numb it.
Loneliness loses its power when you acknowledge it rather than suppress it. When you feel that hollow ache of disconnection, your instinct may be to reach for distractions (hello Ben & Jerry) by scrolling through social media, binging another TV series, or filling the silence with noise. But these numbing strategies only give loneliness more room to grow in the dark. Instead of pretending, be purposeful.
-Name what you're feeling.
-Journal about it if you’d like.
-Take it before God in prayer with raw honesty.
-Say it out loud, “I feel so lonely. I feel forgotten."
This act of naming your pain isn't weakness—it's courage that leads to healing your heart. As Psalm 62:8 reminds us, "Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." He invites us in, knowing that even our loneliest moments can become sacred encounters.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/ Kinga Krzeminska
2. Connect with God By Creating Something
Creativity can combat isolation by allowing you to connect to something beyond yourself. When loneliness wraps around you like a fog, pick up a pen, a paintbrush, or a hammer (not to smash photos but to build something). Write that poem no one will read. Paint colors that express what your words cannot. Build something with your hands. Sing in the shower, the car, or wherever you are.
The act of creating pulls you out of the pit and into active participation with God. Creativity can be worship, a way of partnering with the God who spoke galaxies into existence and called it good. As Ephesians 2:10 says,
"We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
You were made by The Creator to create. As you create, you remember whose image you bear, and loneliness loses its grip.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Tetiana SHYSHKINA
3. Remind Yourself: This Is a Day, Not an Indictment.
Yes, the feeling of loneliness is real, but it is not permanent. It's easy to believe the lie that this is how it will always be… that you're destined for isolation, and connection is for everyone else but you. But loneliness is a season, not a life sentence. It's a day, a moment, a passing storm, not a final verdict on your worth or your future. The ache you feel right now doesn't define you; it's just one chapter, and chapters end. Praise God. Tomorrow or next week might open a door you didn't see coming.
God's mercies are new every morning precisely because we need that reminder that nothing is final except His faithfulness. As Lamentations 3:22-23 assures us,
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."
Feel what you feel fully, but don't let it shortcut your story.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Ryan McVay
4. Give What You Wish You Had
Few things quiet loneliness like a purpose-filled heart. When you're trapped in the echo chamber of your own isolation, one of the most counterintuitive remedies is to turn outward and serve someone else. Write an encouraging note to a friend going through a hard time. Volunteer somewhere. Check on someone who may be struggling too. There's something almost miraculous that happens when we shift from "nobody sees or loves me" to "let me see and love somebody else." Compassion creates connection. It breaks the self-focused spiral of loneliness and reminds you that you have something valuable to offer, that your presence matters, and that you’re needed. Galatians 5:13 says,
"Serve one another humbly in love."
In pouring yourself out for others, you’ll often find your cup filled in ways you didn't expect… the assurance that you’re part of something larger than your loneliness.
Photo Credit: SWN Design
5. Reframe Valentine's Day to Mean More Than Romance
Valentine’s Day isn't only about romance—it's about love in all its forms. The kind of love given freely without expectation. The kind of love received from friends, family, and the God who carved your name into His hands. The kind of love rooted in Christ, who defined love as sacrifice, presence, and a relentless pursuit of the lonely and broken. Valentine's Day doesn't belong to couples alone; it belongs to you. Celebrate the friendships that have carried you. Honor the family members who helped raise you. Acknowledge the small random acts of kindness from strangers.
Send the text, bake the cookies, express gratitude to someone who matters. 1 John 4:19 reminds us,
"We love because He first loved us."
You are already infinitely loved by the One who knows you completely and chose you anyway. Let that truth reshape what today means. Let this be a day where, instead of chasing love, you give it without needing it returned, and rest in the love that was yours before you ever felt lonely. Redefine it. Reclaim it. It’s already yours.
Whether you’re feeling lonely due to a divorce, betrayal, or lack of companionship, know that you may be lonely, but you are not alone. As you reframe and reshape your own Valentine’s Day, you guard your heart against bitterness, envy, and further pain. You are loved today. Now all you have to do is believe it.
Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Elle Hughes
Originally published Tuesday, 27 January 2026.