It's the first week of January. Cold snow showers greet my presence, but amidst their beauty, something feels dead inside. There's always a strange quiet that settles in after the holidays, isn't there? Maybe you've felt it, too.
After the decorations come down and Christmas and New Year's have passed, group chats slow, parties fade, and travel comes to a close. Schedules attempt to return to normal, but something still feels off. The kids are at school, we're back to work, and the grind is heavier than before. Instead of feeling refreshed and rested, we find ourselves tired and cranky.
While many people describe January as emotionally heavier than December, recent data shows that loneliness and mental health struggles spike during these winter months (Health and Human Services). So, the winter blues you're feeling? They're not just typical, but very common, especially after the holiday hustle and bustle comes to a close.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General through Health and Human Services, these winter months make loneliness a public health crisis because of its connection to anxiety, depression, and physical health risks. Studies also report that social isolation often increases from December to March due to cold weather, routine reset, and thinning social calendar events (CDC).
We live in one of the most digitally connected eras, but most of us feel profoundly alone. What does it mean to experience God's presence when we feel isolated, unseen, or nothing at all?
Loneliness Is Normal
If you trace back humanity to the book of Genesis, you will see that God created Adam, a beautiful world, nature, and animals. And yet, it was not good that Adam was "alone." In one sense, he wasn't entirely alone. All of creation surrounded him, and he had close fellowship with God. But in another sense, we know that God saw that not one was right for Adam, and that's why He created Eve from Adam's rib.
We as human beings were created for relationships. A personal and intimate relationship with God, and close and personal relationships with others. Adam's story illustrates this, as do some of the most faithful people in the Scriptures:
-David cried out in Psalm 25:16 that he was lonely and afflicted.
-Elijah was so discouraged and isolated, He wanted to die (1 Kings 19).
-Jeremiah was known as the "weeping prophet."
-Even Jesus experienced abandonment, isolation, and loneliness by friends, crowds, and His ultimate sacrifice on the cross.
Not only is loneliness normal, but it's a human experience we will all face as a result of living in a broken world. It's not a sign of weak faith or something we're doing wrong; it's a longing of desire for the relationships we were always created for.
God Often Meets Us In Our Loneliness
Instead of ignoring these longings, January greets us with new and fresh opportunities. While distractions are stripped away, our minds grapple with fewer events, gatherings, and expectations. That quiet feels uncomfortable and foreign, but it's good for our souls. Why? Because it's in the stillness, the moments of pause and quiet that God most often speaks.
In 1 Kings 19, Elijah doesn't encounter God in a loud wind, earthquake, or fire, but in a gentle whisper. This is one of my favorite stories because it reminds me that while God is all-powerful and could reveal Himself to us in any way that He pleases, He chooses to do so gently, quietly, and calmly. He's not in a rush. He's not loud or rude. He's present, faithful, and still.
While loneliness is difficult to overcome and feelings can become overwhelming, it can also be a sacred space. Not because it feels good or is natural to us, but quite the opposite. It's an invitation to be honest. To slow down. To get real with God.
Psalm 34:18 reads as a reminder this way: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (NIV). For even when we're lonely and feel isolated, God doesn't want us to feel that way. But He's with us in those moments. He doens't wait for us to feel whole before drawing near.
Digital Connection Doesn't Equate to Biblical Community
This January, if you find yourself scrolling, texting, and reacting to comments, might I encourage you to pause? You probably still feel lonely. Even after watching your favorite TV show, FaceTiming with a friend, or watching TikTok videos for three hours. Because inside of us longs for something deeper. Human connection. With someone in person. With something real.
Finding true and biblical community is not passive consumption, but active shared presence, care, and vulnerability. It's not what I can get out of this relationship, but how this relationship can grow me closer to God and others in the process.
In Hebrews 10:24-25, we see a beautiful illustration of this principle lived out: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching" (NIV).
This passage urges all believers to consider one another, to think about others and their needs. It spurs us to love another in faithful and obedient love. And finally, it encourages us not to give up meeting together, even when it takes work.
I get it. After post-COVID, sometimes we just don't want to go out. We've grown accustomed to Zoom meetings, working in our pajamas, and talking on the phone while we multitask. But nothing can replace two things: 1. Our relationship with God, and 2. Our relationship with other people in person.
Community doesn't always come naturally. Sometimes it's an eb and flow. Sometimes it's a journey or a fight. Sometimes it has to be pursued, especially when loneliness tempts us to withdraw. But it's always worth it in the end.
Jesus Calls the Lonely by Name
One of the most striking patterns of Jesus' ministry is how personal He was. Not just with those who knew Him or of Him, but also those who didn't. He called Zacchaeus down from a tree. He spoke directly to the woman at the well, full well knowing her story. He noticed and advocated for the overlooked and the marginalized. And today, He's still personal with us.
In Isaiah 43:1, we read these words: "I have called you by name, you are mine" (NIV). The beauty of this Scripture is that this verse was true for Zacchaeus, the woman at the well, and the overlooked and marginalized. But guess what? It's also for us today. Where we are. As we are. Even when we're lonely.
Loneliness can make us feel forgotten. Like something is wrong with us. But God says, "No. You are known, and you are mine. I have called you by name."
This week, try taking one relational risk that will draw you closer to God and others. Here are some examples to get you started:
-Start small. Text someone you trust and be honest with them.
-Sit with God and name your loneliness out loud. Then, ask Him to put people in your life, whatever that looks like.
-Join a small group, class, church group, or community where you can get plugged in. Even briefly or once a week, try out something new.
-Offer your presence when someone else is struggling. Share your loneliness with them and overcome it together, one small and faithful step at a time.
Over time, loneliness can shrink when it's named out loud and shared. Because there is power in sharing our burdens and allowing someone else to help carry the load.
A Prayer to Combat Loneliness
Dear Jesus,
You see all the parts of me that feel unseen, lonely, and insecure. You know the quiet ache and tears we cry as we walk into this New Year. Instead of isolating ourselves, please help us to be honest with you. Meet us here. Meet us in our loneliness. Remind us that we're not forgotten. We are not abandoned. We are not forever alone. But you love us, you see us, and you will provide community. Lead us into a Godly connection with others and strengthen our relationship with you. We love, praise, and thank you, Jesus.
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Chad Madden
