Do you remember growing up without a cell phone? Back then, there were no text messages buzzing in your pocket and no apps keeping track of where you were every second of the day. If you needed to make a call, you had to find a payphone and hope that you had some loose change. If you don’t know what I am talking about, ask your parents. Life was simpler, quieter, and it felt like it was a little safer. Fast forward to today, and we’ve traded that simplicity for constant connection. I am not sure how often we think about it, but this connection comes with a cost. One of the possible ugly costs is cyberbullying. What makes it worse is that we carry around the very tool, our smartphones, that makes this possible anytime and anywhere.
Skye Borgman’s new documentary, Unknown Number: The High School Catfish, tells the true story of a cyberbullying case that shook Beal City, Michigan. In 2020, 13-year-old Lauryn Licari and her boyfriend, Owen, began receiving disturbing texts from an anonymous number. The harassment escalated, exposing how vulnerable teens can be to manipulation, secrecy, and emotional harm in the digital world. But here’s the biggest shocker of all. The person behind the harassment wasn’t a stranger. It was Lauryn’s own mother. As a parent, I must admit I am not sure how you can do that to your own child, but it forces us to consider a deeper question. When technology opens the door to hidden cruelty, how can Christian families prepare their children to walk in truth, discernment, and the security of their identity in Christ?
When the Bully Follows You Home
Back in the day, bullying had limits. If someone was picking on you at school, you could at least escape when you got home. That safe space is gone now. Today, a bully can follow your child anywhere. They can show up in their bedroom, on a family trip, or even in their quiet moments because of their phones and technology. This hits our young people especially hard because they’re at a stage where they’re figuring out who they are. Their sense of worth, their identity, it’s all being influenced by what they see and hear online.
As adults, we might be able to brush off some of these online things, but for teens, it’s different. A harsh word or a public insult in an online space cuts deep. This can affect how they see themselves and the world around them. Yet, as much as this is a social battle, it is also a spiritual one. Our job is to help our children cling to the truth of who they are in Christ when technology opens the door to fight against it.
What Is Catfishing?
Catfishing is when someone creates a fake identity online to trick, control, or hurt someone else. They might set up a bogus social media profile, use a made-up email, or hide behind an anonymous number like in Lauryn’s story. Catfishing is often associated with romantic scams, but it can take all kinds of forms. The results of catfishing are often emotional, mental, and spiritual, which can leave a path of broken people in its wake.
When catfishing leads to cyberbullying, as it did in Unknown Number, it can isolate our kids, make them feel alone, and chip away at their confidence. This is very much in alignment with the tools Satan uses to attack us, which means we must consider how we guard our families against this kind of deception.
4 Ways to Equip Our Kids in a Digital World
As parents, our instinct is to protect. Some might think the answer is to keep technology out of our kids’ hands altogether. While I understand the thinking, I wonder if that is the best option. The reality is our kids are growing up in a digital world, and while the impulse is to shield them from it, should we instead focus on teaching them how to live wisely in it? Remember, Jesus didn’t save us and take us out of the world, but he teaches us how to live while we are in it. I believe that’s our job as parents.
Here are four ways you can prepare your kids to stand strong:
1. Ground Them in Their True Identity in Christ
The most powerful weapon against the lies of the world is knowing who you are in God’s eyes. If you can root your kids in that truth, the hurtful words of others won’t shake them as much. Here are some biblical realities we can instill into the hearts of our children every chance we get.
-They are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27): Their worth doesn’t come from how they look or what people say but from being created by God Himself.
-They are loved beyond measure (Romans 5:8): God’s love for them never wavers, and our love for them as parents should not either. This is something they should never have to question.
-They have a purpose (Ephesians 2:10): God has a plan for their lives, and he has uniquely equipped them to accomplish that purpose. This should be their source of value, not social media likes.
-Their validation comes from the Lord (Galatians 1:10): We must help them put more emphasis on what God thinks than what the world says.
When these truths live within the hearts of our kids, they won’t be so quick to look for approval in all the wrong places online.
2. Keep Conversations Honest and Open
In our home, my daughter knows she can come to us with anything. No topic is off-limits. However, the way we respond matters. If we overreact, shut her down, or dismiss her concerns, we might close the door for future conversations. So, we listen first, even when it’s hard, and we pay attention to her emotions, often asking questions to determine how she is doing. Sometimes these conversations don’t happen in formal settings but in informal moments where she is more prone to open up and share what is happening.
3. Guide Their Digital Steps with Care
Deciding to give our daughter a phone wasn’t easy, but we felt it was right for our family. That said, we didn’t just hand it over and walk away. We put guardrails in place, not to spy on her, but to guide her. We know what apps she’s on, we check in on who she’s talking to, and we’ve got access if we need it. In doing this, we are teaching her to use this tool responsibly. As long as she uses it right, she keeps it. If she gets off track, we can take it away. It’s not about pulling her out of the world but showing her how to live in it.
4. Make Space for Tech-Free Connection
We try to set aside times when the tech just goes off. I’m sure you’ve seen families out to eat, and everyone at the table is staring at their phones instead of engaging with each other. There is nothing healthy about that. So, we’ve got rules like no devices at the dinner table. Sometimes we turn everything off and read actual books that are not on Kindle devices. These unplugged moments aren’t just about dodging online dangers but reminding us that life is best lived in genuine connection with other people.
Standing Strong in a Digital Storm
Cyberbullying and catfishing are ugly realities of our world. However, as we navigate this connected world, our battle is not against technology but the way some use it to steal our children’s joy and identity. It is more critical than ever that we equip our kids with the truth of God’s Word and give them the tools they need to stand strong in this digital age. While we cannot protect them from every risk, we can make them aware and build trust so they will notice the risk and not be afraid to tell us if something is not right.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/ Stefan Heinemann
