Tennis legends Venus Williams, 44, and Leylah Fernandez, 22, have sparked attention for their deep friendship despite their age difference. Their bond—rooted in mutual respect, encouragement, and joy in the game—shows the beauty of intergenerational relationships. In a culture that often isolates people by age, their connection reminds us that friendship is strengthened, not hindered, by diversity of years and perspective.
Surprisingly, it's not just in tennis. Intergenerational friendships like these show up in churches, classrooms, and workplaces. Yet in a society that thrives on separation, categorizing the young from the old, youth groups on one side of the church, and senior fellowships on the other, the gift of these relationships is often overlooked. I missed it, too. Until the day I met my spiritual mentor.
I wasn't looking for her, but she spoke to me. It was as if she understood exactly where I was and where I'd been, and yet, she showed empathy and kindness. Over the last year, our relationship has grown leaps and bounds. I'm grateful for her constant presence, grace, and outpouring into my life. But more than anything, I'm thankful for the way she encourages me in Christ. The way she opened my eyes to the value of intergenerational relationships.
This raises an important question: In a world that often separates the young from the old, how can the Church model friendships that bridge generations—reflecting the body of Christ where every age has a place and purpose?
God’s Design for Intergenerational Life
From the beginning of time (Genesis 1), Scripture affirms that we weren't created to do life in isolation. Human bodies were never meant to be alone. In a study where individuals were placed in a room with nothing to do other than press a button and shock themselves, most chose to shock themselves. How long were they in the room? 15 minutes. It's crazy how uncomfortable we are with silence and true aloneness. But my point is this: the value of multiple generations living, working, and worshiping together helps ease our discomfort.
In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, we see a high calling on parents and grandparents to pass on God's commands to children in daily life. This parallels Proverbs 22:6: "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it" (NIV). While children will grow up to make their own decisions, intergenerational relationships and friendships can greatly influence how they choose to live their lives in young adulthood.
Similarly, Psalm 145:5 declares, “One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts" (NIV). This passage reminds us that when the early church embodied these characteristics, great growth and blessing resulted. Young Timothy was mentored by Paul (2 Timothy 1:5-7), older widows served alongside younger believers (1 Timothy 5:1-10), and everyone came together in unity.
Acts 2:43-47 even describes this fellowship as life-changing: "A sense of awe came over everyone, and the apostles performed many wonders and signs. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they shared with anyone who was in need. With one accord, they continued to meet daily in the temple courts and to break bread from house to house, sharing their meals with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved" (Berean Standard Bible).
The biblical vision of friendship is clear: God’s people are meant to learn from one another, grow together, encourage one another, and remind each other of Christ's faithfulness—across every stage of life.
Why Culture Pushes Us Apart
If we know these facts to be true, why don't we live this way? Despite design, our culture tends to isolate generations that end up driving us apart. Take a look at the following measures we see every single day.
-Schools and workspaces are structured by age. We are divided into elementary, middle, and high school. Workplaces designate high officials from entry-level positions. These aren't bad things, but they often cause us to ignore advice or interaction with those who are outside our direct circles of influence.
-Social media algorithms feed us content tailored to our demographic. While social media can absolutely be useful, it's created to engage us with peer-to-peer insight. Rarely do we see those older than us on the screens. Over time, we become accustomed to only receiving advice from those who look like us. 1 Kings 12 warns of this when Rehoboam refused to take the wiser advice of his elders, and instead adopted the foolish and ignorant advice of his peers.
-Even in the church, ministries are divided by life stage— children, youth, young adults, married couples, singles, young parents, and seniors. These divisions have a good goal in mind: to create relationships with those in similar stages. However, when obeyed exclusively, they reject God's design for companionship with those older and younger than us.
What's the result of these divides? We miss out on friendships that could deepen our faith, broaden our perspective, and root us in a community that embodies the kingdom of God.
The Beauty of Age-Gap Friendships
Thankfully, although this is the norm, you and I have an opportunity to change the tide. Even if we're just one person, we can strive for intergenerational relationships and friendships in our communities. Venus and Leylah’s friendship illustrates a truth Christians should already know and be eager to adopt: when you cross generational lines, something beautiful happens.
First, having a spiritual mentor, or someone older than you, to seek advice from, widens our limited perspective. Young minds are often eager, hopeful, and full of energy. Older individuals need a reminder of this wit, passion, and spirit. But older generations bring wisdom and experience. Proverbs 20:29 reminds us, "The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old" (NIV). Young and old generations alike bring value to the equation.
Second, younger friends can encourage older friends that age is just a number. In essence, encouragement multiples. The old might be older, but their lives are not over. The young might be young, but they can press on and endure hard seasons, knowing someone has been where they are now. In turn, this encouragement leads to a strengthened and beautiful unity.
As we know and profess, the body of Christ is one (1 Corinthians 12:12–27). Just as the body has many parts, we as the body of believers make up the body of Christ. Friendship across generations reflects this wholeness, encouraging the Church to make these kinds of friendships a priority. Intergenerational friendships could be the norm, not the exception.
How the Church Can Model Intergenerational Friendship
We've identified that these friendships are important, but how do we practically integrate them into our lives? Here are a few ways believers can intentionally bridge the gap between generations:
1. Seek Out Mentorship (Both Ways)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: mentorship has changed my life. Both young and old individuals can benefit from mentorship. Like Paul and Timothy, it's important to look for someone older or younger to invest in—or to learn from. Remember: You're not looking for a perfect person, you're looking for someone willing to learn, love, and grow alongside you.
2. Resist Age Stereotypes
It sounds simple, but to benefit from these relationships, we must learn to go against the grain. While it might be tempting, don’t reduce people to clichés like “Gen Z is too sensitive” or "Elders are too old to understand." Choose to see the image of God in every person. They have value just like you do.
3. Create Shared Spaces
This can be a challenge, but you can encourage your church to plan events, small groups, or service projects that invite all ages together instead of separating by life stage. One great way to do this is to offer a community service day. Instead of dividing groups by age or life stage, you simply sign up for a service project you're passionate about. The church I was associated with in college did this, and it was an eye-opening experience to learn from my peers and those older than me.
Friends, the world may prize (and will continue to prize) friendships that look the same. We are enticed towards individuals of the same age, stage, background, and vibe. And this isn't an inherently bad thing! But in Christ, we’re invited into something richer. Try getting outside your comfort zone and seeking fellowship with believers of all ages.
This week, try asking yourself these reflective questions:
-Who is one person a generation ahead or behind me that I could encourage, learn from, or befriend? How can I reach out to them?
-How might my faith grow if I intentionally pursued a relationship outside my age bracket? What can I gain from this experience?
If we prioritize it, friendship across generations can happen. It's not just possible but part of God’s design for His people.
A Prayer for Friendship
Dear Jesus,
I'm so thankful for the gift of friendship. Thank you to people of all shapes, sizes, and ages, for giving me the opportunity to interact with everyone, no matter their diversity. When I'm tempted to only associate with or learn from those in the same age or life stage as me, remind me of the beautiful value that comes from intergenerational relationships.
Thank you for placing all of us in a body that spans generations and unites us in and through your Spirit, no matter how old we are. Please forgive us when we let age divide us, and give us the eyes to see the blessing in each other's differences. Learning to create these friendships in our churches and communities strengthens us to go against the grain. Please help us to listen, honor, and learn, reflecting your kingdom where every age has a place and purpose. We love, praise, and thank you, Lord.
Amen.
Photo Credit: Elsa / Staff
