A new Pew Research study finds that most parents struggle to manage their children’s screen time. Many feel torn between allowing technology for learning and protecting their kids from distraction, comparison, and anxiety. Nearly half say it’s harder to raise children today because of screens—and even adults admit the same challenge in their own lives. The study highlights a shared longing for peace and presence in a world that rarely pauses.
As the glow of screens fills our homes, how can we lead our families toward the gentle rhythms of God’s peace—teaching not just limits, but the beauty of quiet moments where His voice can be heard?
I don't think I have to convince you that technology has been a blessing and a curse. For every benefit, there is an equal and sometimes worse downfall. Kids and adults alike feel a pull of distraction, comparison, and anxiety from technology. But we need it to survive and communicate, right? So what are we to do?
Screens and social media alike aren't inherently evil, but the rhythms and patterns they create can cause distress. Not only do they have the potential to crowd out God's quiet presence, but they also distract us from the relational connection families long for. And this is why raising kids in a digital world requires two non-negotiables: setting healthy boundaries and cultivating peace and presence.
Setting Healthy Screen-time Boundaries with Grace
When it comes to technology, one of the best pieces of advice I've ever received was to set healthy boundaries. Instead of trying to cut it out cold turkey, implement small breaks, days of social media fasting, and find what works for you. Using things like time limits, device-free zones, or designated "family tech hours" can all be super helpful.
In college, I only got on social media every Monday. I also used texts and apps sparingly. Why? Because I realized - a. I was spending way too much time on my phone, and - b. It caused a lot of insecurity and self-doubt. Instead of using it to connect, I felt less than, shallow, and disconnected.
The Bible might not speak specifically to technology, but I do believe it teaches us many principles that can cross-apply:
Beware of the idolatry of technology.
Exodus 20:4 says it this way: "You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below" (NIV). We're often tempted to think that idols don't apply to the 21st century, but they most certainly do. Any good thing that becomes more important than our Creator is an idol that we must rid ourselves of.
Remember to pause.
Psalm 46:10 tells us to “Be still, and know that I am God" (NIV). Instead of filling every moment with an activity or conversation, model intentional and holy pauses. Encouraging intentional pauses in technology for adults and children alike helps us to be more present.
Lead by example.
I know it might sound cliché, but children learn from example. When I was a teacher, I tried to be really careful how I responded to every situation. Why? Because someone is watching and they may model their behavior after you. I'm not saying you'll be perfect or never make a mistake, but I am gently reminding you of what Scripture says in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old he will not depart from it” (NIV). Guidance includes modeling healthy habits. And while yes, some children will still go their own way or make bad decisions, we can choose to live and lead by example faithfully.
You and your kids might be tempted to see technology boundaries as punishment, but learn to reframe this. Just as God's commands are to keep us safe and help us live our best lives, boundaries are invitations to pause, reflect, and be present. To pay attention to the God-centered rhythms of our lives. If this sounds challenging, start small:
1. Participate in device-free family meals.
2. Invest in quiet bedtime routines without screens.
3. Have weekend screen-Sabbaths.
4. Take one day off from social media a week.
5. Set time boundaries for how much you use your phone.
Cultivating Peace and Presence in a Screen-filled Era
After we learn to set boundaries, it's important to remember why setting them is so important. Do you know why? Limiting technology isn't about taking something out of our lives, but making room for what matters most. We can teach our kids (and ourselves) to notice God's beauty and presence amidst the busyness of daily life. Cultivating peace and presence might look like:
-Family prayer or devotion time together.
-Nature walks or mindful moments without devices.
-Journaling to counter the comparison trap.
-Participating in gratitude exercises.
-Taking five minutes to sit in silence.
-Getting comfortable with "free time."
-Learning to see rest as a holy practice.
Like technology boundaries, the Bible offers practical wisdom for cultivating peace and presence, but if we're honest, we ignore most of it. Who wants to Sabbath? We can't rest, we think! There's too much to do. But friends, Scripture notes peace of presence as a necessity, not an option:
In Philippians 4:6-7, we read that God’s peace guards our hearts and minds. Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us that Jesus invites all to find rest in Him. Exodus 20:8-11 tells us to obey the Sabbath Day and keep it holy. What do all of these verses have in common? Choosing presence to achieve peace.
Parents and children follow your rhythms more than rules. Children, parents offer this guidance to give you a wellspring of life, not to prevent you from experiencing it. Together, parents and children alike can learn to live in a digital world that benefits from technology, but doesn't let it consume or define them.
5 Practical Steps towards Healthy Screen-time
1. Set intentional boundaries for screens with clarity and calm.
Instead of taking away social media or technology as a punishment, show how using it with limits can actually make our lives better.
2. Model rest and presence in your own tech use.
As I mentioned earlier, our actions are always on display—from kids to co-workers. Instead of ignoring the Sabbath or checking your phone while someone is talking to you, choose to remain present. Not only will it shock them, but it might just inspire them to live the same way.
3. Create sacred quiet moments where God’s voice can be heard.
I know you like to be busy. I do, too. But we can't hear God if we don't make time and space to be alone with Him. Choose a few times throughout the day where you can pause and just be with the Lord. If this isn't possible during your day, get up a few minutes early and just sit with Him.
4. Engage children in conversation about what they watch and how it makes them feel.
Have open and honest conversations about what we consume and how this can impact how we live. If something is bothering you or them, talk about it.
5. Encourage hope.
At the end of the day, I want to be clear, technology is not the enemy. It's a beautiful tool and an advancement of the 21st century. But, like many things, it must come with guardrails and boundaries. Discipleship and peace can coexist in a digital age, but we need to display them biblically and righteously.
A Prayer for a Healthy Family Balance with Technology
Dear God,
In a world that never slows down, help our homes to be spaces of calm and presence. Teach us, as parents, teachers, and leaders, to set wise boundaries that others can learn from. Without fear, anger, or angst, help us to guide those around us towards your peace. May our families experience peace that you alone bring, and show us how to experience the fullness of life. Help us to experience the quiet moments where your voice is heard above the noise and seen above the glow of our devices. Help us to model patience, presence, and trust in you alone so our kids can find true rest. We love, praise, and thank you, Jesus.
Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Vitaly Gariev
