New research shows that about four in ten U.S. teenagers support banning cellphones during class time, signaling growing awareness of how devices can distract from learning. However, far fewer teens support all-day phone restrictions at school, suggesting they still value access for social connection, safety, and coordination outside the classroom. The findings reflect a nuanced shift: students recognize the downsides of constant phone use during instruction, even as debates continue over how much access is appropriate. The conversation highlights a broader challenge for schools and families—helping young people develop healthy boundaries with technology in an always-connected world.
I think it is no surprise to any of us that teenagers have a complicated relationship with technology, particularly smartphones. For a few years, I have asked high school students to help me write a user’s manual for smartphones; it would be a guide I could use as a parent of young kids. Every year, the conversation follows the same arc: debate, concerns, and the same old questions. It begins with, “Wait as long as you possibly can to give them a smartphone.” The room cheers, resounding with agreement. Then they start adding layers like, “Don’t let them get TikTok,” or “Don’t let them have Snapchat.” But after a few minutes of discussion, a voice will pop up and say, “But aren’t you afraid they will be left out?” The following moments include a realization that smartphones, more specifically social media, are used for communication, following trends, providing shared humor, and more. They begin to say, “If your kids don’t have smartphones, they will be left out of team or club communication and may not know the latest joke or trend.” At the end of each conversation I have had with teenagers, it always ends the same way. They look at me and say, “We don’t know what to tell you. It is complicated.” Let’s also remember,
75% of high school students have some anxiety that a school shooting will happen on their campus.
Having a phone to call for help or call Mom and Dad in an emergency can be a safety concern for teenagers. It’s complicated.
However, these students highlighted something interesting in their conversations. They weren’t debating whether being reachable by phone call was the issue. It wasn’t the phone itself. It was social media. Social media was both the connection point and the problem. In a 2022 CBS News report entitled “Are the Kids Alright?: The Internet,” teenagers say they wish adults would help them stand up to the addictive algorithms designed to keep them glued to their phones. Teenagers are asking for help. They don’t want to be distracted or pulled away from focus in class. They do not want to be glued to their phones. They want to be present. They are asking for the help of caring adults to walk alongside them through the complexity and nuance and guide them toward health.
As constant connection competes for our attention, how can we teach the next generation the value of presence, focus, and wisdom in how—and when—we use technology?
It would be easy to hand down a list of dos and don’ts to our teenagers. They are simple, direct, and require no real critical thought. But if we, and our teenagers, do not understand the “why” behind such rules, they can become echoes of empty legalism. I just finished reading Jean Twenge’s Ten Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, which offers practical guidance for parents on smartphones, social media, gaming consoles, and more. It covers mental health and happiness statistics, but we can take this a step further by providing wisdom. It is good information, but we can take it a step further in cultivating and discipling presence, focus, and joy rooted in the Lord.
It is good to pause and remember that we are fighting against the pressure of FOMO (fear of missing out). Being present is a discipline in the face of algorithms designed to pull us away from the present moment. Our teenagers are being marketed to all of the time, and part of that sales pitch is, “Don’t risk missing out on the best option by being disconnected from the notifications on your phone and social media. There is always a better option.” This is an enemy fighting to steal the value of our presence and our joy.
There are a few things we can teach our teenagers to help them understand the value of presence that leads to joy.
3 Things We Can Teach Teens about Being Present in An Age of Screentime
1. Pay attention to what the Lord has for you.
We have all found ourselves in a situation where we committed to something we want to back out of. Maybe we are in a boring meeting while our friends are at a barbecue. Maybe we committed to helping a neighbor and then found out others are going to a concert. Maybe we go to a restaurant and wish we had gone somewhere else. It is easy to regret our decision and then stew in our discontent. We can teach a different discipline: instead of looking for what you are missing, pay attention to why the Lord has you in that moment. Is there someone God wants you to meet? Is there something God wants you to learn? Is there something God wants you to do? God was with us when we made our commitments, and God is in those moments when we show up also. When we are looking over our shoulder to notice what we are missing, we are not paying attention to what the Lord has for us in that moment. Even in our classrooms during the day, we can teach our teenagers to look for what the Lord has for them in each hour. Wouldn’t it be amazing if our teenagers came home with eight different places they saw the Lord each day?
2. Choose joy.
One of the things I love about joy, as well as the other fruits of the Spirit, is that we are not simply passive recipients of them. We can choose to exercise them even if the circumstances around us don’t naturally result in such things as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. FOMO is designed to steal our joy. It is designed to make us feel like something is missing, and therefore, our joy is incomplete. But what if we coached our teenagers to fight against this by telling them, “You can choose to have joy.” We can choose to focus on what we are grateful for at any given moment. We can choose to look for the things God is doing around us. We can take a deep breath, maybe a big drink of water, and ask the Lord to help our eyes refocus on His joy and not our dissatisfaction.
3. Focus grows with practice.
Attention spans are not fixed. Our capacity to focus can generally grow with practice, but atrophy without engagement. “I can’t pay attention because it’s so boring,” is a fairly common complaint for teenagers. I’ve also heard the following about prayer: “I have a hard time praying because I fall asleep or my brain wanders.” Yes, our brains wander, and we get bored, but we don’t give in to this. We actually have to practice focus. It can start by taking notes with a pen on paper or journaling our prayers as we pray. This engages our physical and mental worlds together. Our body joins in to help our brains focus. We read books that are a little above our reading level, starting with a few pages at a time. We practice being away from our phones and not responding to notifications (or turning them off altogether). This doesn’t just make one a better student; it makes one a better friend! Our teenagers want a friend who pays attention, listens, and doesn’t break eye contact to open a message or app on their phone in the middle of our conversation. This comes with practiced focus. We can ask our teenagers, “Do you want to be a friend like that?”
All of this takes practice, and boundaries provide us with an environment in which to practice. The classroom is one place where phone boundaries are helpful, but a further conversation on how to cultivate joy, focus, and an acumen for seeing what the Lord is up to could be a more compelling reason for teenagers to lean in.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Drazen Zigic
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