Thoughts for Today
Are you caught up in a loved one's life-controlling problem? Do you try to control his or her behavior?
Are you dependent on being in the helping role?
Do you work to cover up and make excuses for a loved one's poor behavior?
Are you realizing that all areas of your life revolve around serving the needs of this loved one?
If you see yourself in any of these unhealthy behaviors, or if you feel you might be in danger of sliding into any of them, you need to begin the process of moving toward a healthier relationship with your loved one.
Consider this …
The behaviors described above are symptoms of codependency. Avoiding or overcoming codependency requires balance. God doesn't want our lives to be centered around our loved one's problems, but neither should we be independent and concerned only with ourselves. The healthy balance is to be interdependent.
You can find a healthy balance in your relationships by making Christ and His will central. Love others. Care about them. Be concerned about what is happening in their lives. But rather than entwining your life with their life-controlling problems, serve Christ and focus on Him.
Father, I know I have a tendency to get so wrapped up in trying to protect my loved one from his own behaviors that I take my eyes off you. Help me focus on Jesus and find the right balance in this relationship. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …Concerned Persons: Because We Need Each Other by Jimmy Ray Lee, D.Min. This group is designed for the many people who have a current or past relationship with a person who has a life-controlling problem.
- It emphasizes the need we all have for each other.
- It helps people focus on Christ rather than on the problem.
- It serves as a powerful evangelistic tool by providing a way to minister to people's felt needs and then pointing them to Christ.Note: This curriculum was written especially for small groups, and we encourage people to use it that way. However, it can also be used effectively as a study for individuals or couples.
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