November 12, 2025
The Loneliness of Service and Self-Pity
By Michael A. Youssef, Ph.D.
Read Philippians 4:4-7.
As we continue to look at how Christ alone can cure all forms of loneliness—no matter their source—we come to two Biblical giants in Scripture: Moses and Elijah. Each of them had their seasons of loneliness to which most people can relate.
Perhaps no one’s frustration is more relatable than Moses’ when it comes to the cause of his loneliness. Born not of unrepentant sin nor incredible suffering, Moses’ season of loneliness stemmed from his service to God’s people.
Charged with leading the Israelites through the wilderness, Moses bore the brunt of an ongoing string of complaints, criticisms, and demands from a stiff-necked people. All of their complaints were directed at Moses. Serving God is, of course, a great privilege, but it comes with weighty responsibility. There is immense potential for burnout and the loneliness that comes when you carry the burden of others relying on you.
In his pain and frustration, however, Moses poured out his heart to God honestly and completely (see Numbers 11:10-15). He let it all out and gave it to God. You see, loneliness in service is an opportunity to connect deeply with God—to pour out your heart and seek His guidance. Though service may involve seasons of loneliness, it also brings unprecedented blessings of aloneness with God, developing deeper faith and greater reliance on Him.
Another type of loneliness that can befall a servant of the Lord is the loneliness of self-pity. Elijah experienced this. Though he wasn’t a deliverer like Moses, Elijah did accomplish a great victory when he challenged the prophets of Baal atop Mount Carmel (see 1 Kings 18:16-40). But when the wicked queen, Jezebel, responded by vowing to kill Elijah (see 1 Kings 19:2), he ran for his life. Along the way, he left his servant behind just at the time he needed companionship, ensuring his loneliness would only worsen.
Elijah indulged in self-pity, even to the point of praying for death. How could this man of God sink so low? Self-pity robs us of the right perspective. We become so focused on ourselves that we no longer see things from a heavenly perspective. As a result, we make poor decisions—we become impatient, impulsive, and unwilling to wait on God’s timing.
If you’re feeling stuck in the loneliness of self-pity, remind yourself of God’s faithfulness to you in the past—the great things He has done, His majesty, and love. Look to the Lord, trusting that He is at work and “will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
Prayer: Lord, when I am overwhelmed by my circumstances, may I turn these seasons of fear and loneliness, of frustration and self-pity, into opportunities to lift my eyes to You. I will praise You and trust You. Transform my loneliness into rich aloneness with You. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6).
Learn more in Dr. Michael A. Youssef’s sermon The Cure to Loneliness, The Loneliness of Service and Self-Pity: LISTEN NOW
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