You Are More Than What You Do
Angie Smith
Author of Into the Deep
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT).
I can think of few things people judge you more harshly for than parenting, which is why I decided to do it perfectly.
Let me introduce you to Astatine. She isn’t exactly a person but more of a plastic head with hair. She was an Amazon purchase, typically one made by people in hairstyling school, but here we are.
The reason she came to our house was because I could not figure out how to make French braids as perfectly as other moms, despite hands-on mentoring and watching every YouTube video created since the dawn of digital time. My children didn’t want me to practice on them for three hours at a time, so you can see what put me in this predicament.
Astatine had clamps that tightened her to the table so you could practice different hairstyles. But she still wobbled, which led my daughter, Charlotte, to eventually name her "Astatine" because she looked up words that meant “unstable” and apparently this was one of them.
This wasn’t really about hair braids at all. This was about something much more primal: the terror that if I didn’t get it exactly right, it would mean something devastating about who I am as a person. The hair braids were proof that I was the kind of mother who cared enough to master Pinterest-worthy skills.
Perfectionism isn’t really about high standards or attention to detail. It’s about believing that our value as human beings is directly tied to our ability to perform without failure. It’s the exhausting conviction that we are always one mistake away from being exposed as frauds, disappointing the people we love, or — most terrifyingly — losing God’s approval.
That makes grace feel dangerous, like it could be pulled out from under us at any moment. Instead of resting in grace, we live as though we’re two steps away from losing it. Faith becomes more like a performance than a relationship, and we live with the constant suspicion that we’re not quite enough.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve automatically disqualified myself from God’s calling because I feel like I’m not the perfect candidate. I can back this up with countless examples of failures and weaknesses — even though God tells us, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Maybe the question isn’t “how can I do this without failing?” but “what would it look like to move forward even if I do fail?” Because failure isn’t the end of the story. Sometimes it’s the place where God meets us most clearly, and the only way we’ll ever discover that is if we dare to step out before we feel ready.
That’s what I need most — not a flawless track record. Just the courage to go in the strength I already have, trusting the One who is with me.
Lord, You never asked me to be perfect, and I’m exhausted from trying. Please remind me that my performance does not determine my worth and give me the grace to rest in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
Romans 8:1, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” (NLT).
What’s one thing you can do today to release perfectionism and rest in God’s grace? Share with us in the comments!
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