Starting Over After a Spiritual Fail
By Jennifer Slattery
Bible Reading:
So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, with his wife and everything he had, and Lot went with him. 2 Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold. From the Negev he went from place to place until he came to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and Ai where his tent had been earlier four and where he had first built an altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord. - Genesis 13:1-4 NIV
Sometimes, I struggle to live anchored in grace. Sadly, I’ve done many things I regret and wounded those I love. While I’ve confessed and apologized for those things, sadly, I can’t unspeak words spoken or go back in time to handle situations differently. But, thanks to God’s grace, I receive a do-over each day—a chance to stop in the middle of an argument, selfish act, or whatever dysfunctional behavior I’ve slipped back into to live more consistently aligned with Jesus.
When I’m battling fear of failure or shame related to my past, I’m encouraged by biblical accounts of godly men and women who messed up big time, but then turned around, got back on track, and began again.
Abraham, called Abram in today’s passage, the patriarch of our faith, messed up big time. When we first meet him in Genesis 11 and 12, he obediently leaves his pagan homeland in Ur, taking his wife and nephew with him, to embark on a journey to an unknown land. As a woman who’s followed her husband from one state to another, and who, at times, was a reluctant (and, on occasion, anxious and tearful) participant, I can’t help but wonder what his wife felt or thought regarding this significant life transition.
She left her home, biological family, neighbors, friends, and whatever sense of security those support systems provided.
Did she even have a say in the matter? Based on the culture in which she lived, I suspect she might not have.
While Scripture doesn’t tell us how long she and her husband had been married at this point, the depth or strength of their relationship, or how safe she felt in it, it does record an instance that must’ve shattered any trust they’d built. To paraphrase, when he and Sarai, later called Sarah, arrived in Canaan, they hit two significant challenges. First, other people occupied the land, and, second, they soon found themselves in a famine, which would’ve been life-threatening. Then, instead of seeking God’s guidance regarding navigating this crisis, Abraham headed to Egypt with his clan.
In Genesis 12:11-13, we read: As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me, but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you” (NIV).
In other words, “This isn’t a safe place. We’re going to encounter men so consumed with lust, they’ll kill me to get to you.”
His plan? To abandon his wife to protect himself.
When we allow our fear, rather than God, to lead us, we behave in hurtful ways, as Abraham did. Because of his “brilliant” solution, Sarah soon found herself taken to the palace by the most powerful man in the nation.
Pause to consider how you might feel in a similar situation. Would you feel betrayed and afraid?
I would.
Remember, the Pharaoh wasn’t inviting her over for conversation and tea. Genesis 12:19 tells us he took her “to be his wife.”
Thankfully, God came to her rescue before she was violated. What relief she must’ve felt when Pharaoh released her, untouched, and told her and Abraham—called Abram at this point in the story—to take their belongings and leave.
But, oh, the pain they both must’ve carried with them. For Sarah, the sting of betrayal, and for Abraham, the sting of regret.
Intersecting Life and Faith
Do you see the beautiful truth tucked within today’s passage? Scripture tells us that after Abraham’s colossal failure as a husband and man of God, he returned to where he first built an altar to commemorate his encounter with the Creator, and there, “he called on the name of the Lord.” This is a biblical idiom denoting faith and connection. Abraham returned to the Lord and His ways.
Thanks to Jesus and the price He paid for our salvation, we always have the opportunity to do the same. Regardless of how far we’ve wandered or the mistakes we’ve made along the way, each day, we can begin again and again. As Scripture promises, God’s mercies are new every morning. So long as we continually turn to Him, He will teach us to break free from our shame and live more consistently in His grace and more fully aligned with His will.
Further reading:
Psalm 32:1-5
Romans 5:15-20
John 3:16-21
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/MatthiasLindner
Jennifer Slattery is a writer and speaker who co-hosts the Faith Over Fear podcast and, along with a team of 6, the Your Daily Bible Verse podcast. She’s addressed women’s groups, Bible studies, and taught at writers conferences across the nation. She’s the author of Building a Family and numerous other titles and maintains a devotional blog at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLou
She’s passionate about helping people experience Christ’s freedom in all areas of their lives. Visit her online to learn more about her speaking or to book her for your next women’s event, and sign up for her free quarterly newsletter HERE and make sure to connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and GodTube.
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