5 Steps to Stop Being Overly Critical
By: Kelly Balarie
Bible Reading:
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8 NIV
Have you ever been hurt by an authority figure?
I remember it, almost clear as day… I was in third grade. Somehow, the teacher always seemed proud of her classroom power. I liked to talk. She didn’t like talking. And there I went – I started up talking…
My punishment? She had me kneel before a statue on hard, cold linoleum for hours (or for what felt like hours). It hurt. It was embarrassing.
Here, and amongst other times like this, I learned something: You can’t trust everyone in a position of spiritual authority. Just because they have a position of power doesn’t mean they’ll use it for good.
As a kid, I took the lesson and stuffed it deep in my pocket. Be careful, Kelly. You may get hurt. Even holy people can’t always be trusted.
I started to keep my antennae up. I won’t get hurt or embarrassed like that again.
Safety, now, became hyper-awareness as I talked to people in authority. I’d ask:
- Are they speaking the truth?
- Do they have the right motives?
- Will they dupe me?
- Are they living what they say, or are they a fraud?
- Are they trying to profit for themselves, and do they even really care?
In an effort to protect myself from future hurt, I started to live as a constant judge. A critic. A person continually sizing up good or bad. Right or wrong. Theologically correct or not right at all.
People became either good or not so good.
One morning, something hit me: I can’t be loving when constantly judging.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Pet. 4:8)
God doesn’t require me to figure everyone out; He calls me to love. God doesn’t ask that I know every motive; He asks that my highest motive be love.
Love is powerful. Love actually covers. It does something. It is a cause that always has an effect.
Yet, a critical spirit? It can easily hide under the guise of good intent, while being all wrong. Jesus was not a fan of the Pharisees, who showed themselves pious, but underneath were void of true understanding.
What can I do instead? I can:
1. Pray that I can see what God loves in each person.
2. Authentically bless them in prayer.
3. Encourage them where they may need help or ministry.
4. Believe the best and hope the best about them.
5. Love them anyway.
The highest understanding is love. The highest pursuit is love.
WE don’t have to entirely know a person to love them. We don’t have to have it all figured out to show love.
Love is simple.
Judging is complex.
Plus, it is a lot to uphold. It’s a lot to manage. It keeps the heart guarded. It blocks God’s outpouring and sin-covering love.
At the end of the day, being critical doesn’t keep us safe. God is the only protector, and when we trust Him to protect us, we can begin to love others, even when it may feel scary.
Will everyone treat us right? Will everyone do right? Not at all.
But do we always act right and always do right? No, we don’t.
We love the way Jesus loved us.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
Where do you find yourself judging more than you are loving people? How might believing the worst about others be preventing you from seeing their best? Identify ways that your judgment has impacted relationships… What would it look like for you to do something new?
Join the conversation! Share how today’s devotional encouraged or challenged you in your walk with Christ.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/AndreyPopov
Check out fantastic resources on Faith, Family, and Fun at Crosswalk.com!
The Rapture: What Is It and When Will It Happen?
Talbot New Testament scholar Dr. Alan Hultberg joins Sean McDowell to sort out what Scripture says, walk through the three major views, and ask the question everyone wants answered: are we close? Hultberg starts by clearing away the "Left Behind" imagery most of us absorbed from movies and kids' Bible storybooks, then lays out the three positions evangelicals actually debate, explaining what separates them, how each handles the tribulation, Israel, and the timing of Christ's return.
Want more answers to your biggest questions about God, morality, and contemporary culture? Be sure to follow The Sean McDowell Show on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Was this resource helpful? Add Christianity.com as a trusted source for Biblical content.
