Managing Marriage During COVID-19
By: Lynette Kittle
There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work - 1 Corinthians 12:6
As COVID-19 has been mandating couples stay together 24/7, it’s been shedding light on the true condition of countless marriages. The stress and tension of being together is bringing issues in their relationships to the surface.
For some couples, it’s causing them to consider where reconnection needs to occur and what efforts are needed to prioritize and improve their relationships. Unfortunately for others, it’s leading many husbands and wives to consider divorce.
At our house, my husband and I have had our own unique response to the COVID-19 stay-at-home orders. In expressing my delight of having him home all the time, I thought he would be glad to know how much I love having him here. But he didn’t return my enthusiasm or feel the same about being home 24/7.
While I enjoy having him work at home where we can interact all day long, as a hospice chaplain with a pastor’s heart, he has been greatly missing ministering face-to-face with patients and families.
Although he has been making visits via phone calls, it just isn’t the same for him as having in-person visits. It’s also not the same for the patients and caregivers who are feeling alone and isolated during this outbreak.
However, as soon as I picked up on his hesitancy in agreeing with me, the enemy went to work to try and make me feel hurt by his response. It turns out my husband doesn’t enjoy being at home 24/7 as much as I like him being here.
Of course, the accuser of the brethren (Revelation 12:10) started pointing fingers at me and at him, trying to convince me that my spouse would rather be away from home working than at home spending time with me.
As I did, God calmed my heart and redirected my thoughts, reminding me how He gives us varying gifts. He helped me understand how my husband does like spending time with me but he also is called to reach out and minister to people. Like Romans 12:4 explains, “For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function.”
During this time of couples reconnecting, it’s important for husbands and wives to realize even in marriage, we probably don’t have the same ministry functions. Like 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 explains, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.”
Reaching out to God led me to see my spouse’s quarantine discontentment was not a reflection on his love for me. He helped me consider how although I thrive working at home writing words, my husband thrives out among people speaking words.
As well, God helped me to realize the abilities he’s given to my husband function differently than the ones He’s given to me. Also, to see how my spouse was missing using his God’s given gifts to reach out and help others in spiritual and practical ways.
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, iBelieve.com, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, Startmarriageright.com, growthtrac.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
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