Marriage problems are common in the modern day. Sadly, no marriage is perfect, which is why problems are bound to happen. Marriage is supposed to be a reflection of Jesus and the Church to the world, and this shows us how important marriage is in the eyes of God. With this in mind, it is important to know what the Bible says about marriage problems.
Many of our friends and family members might try to give us advice about marriage problems, but the best person to go to is God.
He knows all things, and since He created marriage, we can trust Him to give us the best advice. Even if you feel like your marriage is ending and you don't want it to, God can give you hope.
Problems in Marriage
Ephesians 4:26 tells us, "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." While this can apply to any relationship, it can also apply to a marriage.
When a man and a woman are married, it is important that they do not go to sleep while still being upset with each other. This will only cause problems and strife within the marriage. Rather than allowing the sun to go down when you are angry, address the problem.
Communication is crucial in marriage because it is the only way you will be able to fully know your spouse. If things are going wrong and you have an argument, don't remain angry. Even if it is late, talk about the issue with your spouse. Your spouse loves you and wants the best for you.
Never be afraid to share your feelings with your spouse — even the hard feelings, such as anger, frustration, or bitterness. God has made you and your spouse one from the moment of marriage, and you now have a responsibility to be there for each other even in times of anger.
Instead of going to sleep angry at your spouse, tell them your feelings. Once you have openly talked about the issue and why you are upset, you can work forward to a solution. Maybe you were angry because your spouse didn't clean the dishes or take out the garbage.
Vocalize this concern to them. Maybe it's a more major issue, such as you are afraid your spouse is cheating on you. Whatever the reason for your anger and frustration, talk about it with your spouse and work toward a solution.
You Are on the Same Team
As mentioned, from the time you are married to each other, you become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Since you are now one flesh, each spouse should deeply care, cherish, and love each other. With this in mind, you need to remember that you and your spouse are on the same team.
The only one who is trying to upset your marriage is Satan. The enemy wants to destroy your marriage, but you don't have to let him. Rather, be a team with your spouse and give the devil no opportunity to break into your marriage.
Marriage problems are going to happen because there is sin in the world. All of us are sinners, and we all fall short (Romans 3:23). Since we are all sinners, we can all be tempted at one point or another.
As either the wife or the husband, you can be tempted by a coworker, a website, or someone from your past. You are married to your spouse, and you must stay faithful to them.
When you made your vows, you made them before your spouse and God. These are weighty vows because they should never be broken.
The only times a marriage should end in divorce is because of sexual immorality or an abusive relationship. If the problems in your marriage are that your spouse cheated on you or they are abusing you, know that it is biblical to leave the relationship.
God doesn't command you to stay in a relationship like this. Rather, He wants you to be loved, cherished, and feel cared for.
When you are having difficulties in your marriage, don't forget you are on the same team. You have been made one flesh with your spouse, and you are forever bound to one another. Don't allow arguments to cause rifts in your relationship.
Just as you forgive others in your life, you also have to learn to forgive your spouse. The Bible tells us we are to forgive others just as in Christ God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32). There will be times of difficulties and hardships because nobody says marriage is easy.
Marriage is a journey and an opportunity for growth. It's not always going to be a walk in the park, just as no relationship is always easy. You work through the hard parts with your spouse in order for your relationship to grow stronger and for you to grow closer to your spouse.
The more you are able to work through your problems in a biblical way, the stronger your bond with your spouse will become. Your bond with God will also grow stronger because you will be leaning on Him.
Turning to God
This might sound basic; however, it is often overlooked. We must never forget to turn to God when we are having marriage problems. Marriage problems will happen in your relationship, but you can work through them.
Pray to God about them and pour your heart out to Him. He cares about all of your feelings, and He doesn't want to see your marriage end. God created marriage, and He created it to be long-lasting.
Through turning to God, He will be able to give you comfort, direction, and guidance. As you turn to Him, don't forget to read the Bible and hear what He is trying to tell you. Your marriage difficulty might be ongoing, but God wants to help you resolve the issue.
He doesn't want you and your spouse to constantly be at odds with each other. God wants you and your spouse to love each other just as He loves the church. There shouldn't be any bad feelings between the husband and the wife.
When you feel as though nothing is helping you get past your marriage difficulties, it is okay to seek out Christian marriage counseling. There is nothing wrong with seeking out help from a therapist.
A Christian therapist will be able to help you rebuild your relationship with your spouse and work through your issues.
With a Christian therapist, he or she will be able to involve God in the process as well when you are working through your marriage difficulties. Never be afraid to ask for professional help because we all need it sometimes.
You might be surprised as to how much marriage counseling could benefit your marriage. By being equipped with the Word of God, applying what it says, going to God in prayer, and seeking marriage counseling, you will be able to work through your issues.
This is of course including the fact that your spouse also wants to work on the issues. If your spouse has treated you poorly or hurt you, know that it is also okay to leave the relationship. Bring all of these matters before the Lord, and He will give you guidance and support.
For further reading:
Does the Bible Really Say to Save a Marriage at All Costs?
When Is a Marriage Too Late to Save?
When Is it Okay for Christians to Consider Divorce?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/PeopleImages
