The Danger of Isolation
By Cindi McMenamin
Bible Reading:
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He breaks out against all sound judgment. (Proverbs 18:1 ESV)
It was quite the thing to do to isolate from one another during that horrendous year of 2020. We sheltered in place to keep ourselves safe. We kept ourselves away from others to obey governmental authorities. We isolated because, for a time, we couldn’t do anything else.
But, during that time, we developed some isolation habits that are likely still holding onto us today. When difficulties arise, or you get hurt by another person, or you become very busy and focused on something and don’t want to be interrupted, it can be natural now to withdraw and shut others out.
The wise King Solomon told us in Proverbs 18:1 that isolating is not exercising sound judgment, and, in the NASB, we are told it “quarrels against all sound wisdom.” Look at that verse alongside Solomon’s words in Proverbs 27:17, which tell us: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (NASB). Scripture is telling us it’s not only unwise to isolate oneself, but it’s also dangerous. Isolation or withdrawing from others pulls us away from the body of Christ, where we can be encouraged by other believers, and it leaves us far more vulnerable to the attacks of Satan, who often seeks to first isolate us from other believers and then accuse us and discourage us further.
Until recently, I didn’t realize how quickly isolating tendencies can become a habit. I had been pretty independent over the past couple of years as my schedule got busier and my phone and Zoom coaching increased. I was spending less time face-to-face with my friends and more time in front of screens getting my work done or meeting remotely with clients. I was spending less time in my favorite booth at Chick-fil-A listening to others share what’s on their hearts, and more time cultivating my spiritual life apart from the accountability and encouragement from others.
And then I went through a health scare, followed by the news that my mother had less than six months to live. Going through difficulties can make you start wondering, Who do I call if I suddenly need a ride to the hospital and my husband isn’t available? and Who is in my life who can help me through this struggle and keep me trusting in my Lord, regardless of my circumstances?
You and I weren’t meant to go through life alone. So, when you start feeling lonely or the temptation to isolate from others, it’s an inner alarm that something is off. And it could be:
- You aren’t cultivating enough friendships in your life.
- You have some unresolved hurts that are keeping you from opening up with others.
- You are unknowingly turning people away and living as a “loner.”
- You’ve been prioritizing productivity over people (this is for the busy person who is lonely and doesn’t know it), and need to find a healthy balance.
It could also mean you are further from God than you should be (perhaps not communing with Him daily?), or you have been depending solely on God at the expense of no longer being among other believers.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
God didn’t intend for us to live in isolation. He created us to live in community. When you are among other believers who can encourage you and hold you up, you can continue to grow spiritually, as well as emotionally. Although God wants to draw us close to His heart through our struggles, we can grow spiritually through a healthy balance of alone time with God and time with other believers in their physical presence. God created us for a relationship with Him and with others who can help us grow, help us experience Him, and help us see Him in ways we couldn’t otherwise.
In a recent phone conversation with my Dad, in which he told me about a few opportunities he had to listen to hurting people, I thanked him for being Jesus to the people he interacts with every day. Dad was touched by those words. I realized, after I got off the phone, that he called that day to encourage me, but I was able to encourage him, too. That’s how it works in a family—especially in the family of God. God wants believers sharpening one another, supporting one another, helping one another, and “encouraging one another…all the more as you see the day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:25).
If you aren’t experiencing spiritual encouragement and support from your natural family, it is waiting for you in your spiritual family—in the church, what Scripture calls the body (the human hands and feet) of Jesus. And if no one is being Jesus to you, start being Jesus for someone else. That’s often when you begin to feel less isolated and more connected with one another.
Further Reading:
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
For more on growing closer to God and others, see Cindi’s books: The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated, and The New Loneliness Devotional: 50 Days to a Closer Connection with God.
Join the conversation! Share how today’s devotional encouraged or challenged you in your walk with Christ.
Photo Credit: iStock/Getty Images Plus/torwai
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