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Pastors, Don't Use Mother's Day to Bash Dads...Continued from page 2

Paul Coughlin

Crosswalk Contributor

11. Fathers are more likely to foster independent, exploratory behavior on the part of their children, compared to mothers.

12. Children raised by engaged fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them.

13. A playful, challenging, and nurturing approach to fatherhood is associated with more self-control and pro-social behavior among children throughout the course of their lives.

14. One study of seventh graders found that boys who had close relationships with their fathers were more likely to control their feelings and impulses, to obey rules at school and home, and to make good moral judgment.

15. This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had more self-esteem.

16. Boys and girls who are exposed to the nurture of a father, and who see a father being nurturing to their mother and other adults, are much less likely to associate masculinity with predatory sexual behavior and hyper-aggressiveness.

17. Fathers help their children, especially their daughters, develop the self-control and the sense of self-worth that protects them from premature sexual intercourse and teenage pregnancy.

If you have additional information about the importance of fatherhood, let us know so that we can create an even better resource list for ministers and others who want to change Mother's Day vs. Father's Day to Mother's Day And Father's Day. If your minister treats both mothers and fathers with the respect and dignity they deserve, we want to know so we can give them the kudos they deserve. Email us at paul@christianniceguy.com. We'll put it on our website, Christianniceguy.com

Paul Coughlin is the author of No More Christian Nice Guy, and the upcoming, No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps: Raising Secure, Assertive Kids in a Tough World (June 2007). He is the co-author along with his wife Sandy of Married But Not Engaged.  He's also a founding member of GodMen (www.godmen.com). To have Paul speak at your men's event, contact him at www.christianniceguy.com.

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Most Recent User Comments
niralrussell
5/8/2008 11:54 PM
MyGuide, there are millions of men who do wrong. There are also millions of women who do wrong. The stats are not pretty for either gender. I think the point of the article is that Mother's day celebrates mom, as it should. But it should not do so at the expense of Dad. In the same way, Father's day should celebrate dad without bashing Mom. Many men are doing great. Many are great husbands, brothers, uncles, sons, fathers, etc. Many are responsible. Many are passionate and loving. We who are taking care of our households are getting tired of being told to "step it up" while women get a pass. Being a woman does not make a person smarter, more sensible, or more loving. In God's eyes, the playing field is level, and we ALL have a lot to learn from Him. If you go to your local bookstore, you will see shelves lined with books that celebrate motherhood and womanhood. But in the men's section, you will see books that attempt to teach manhood, as though none of us have arrived.
niralrussell
5/8/2008 11:45 PM
What an amazing article, and how, true!!! While I cannot ignore the extreme difficulty women have faced throughout history, I am growing weary of the man-bashing in the church. Young boys hear this man-bashing, and act as though there is something wrong with being masculine. Sadly, they tend to become more feminine, or they become overly aggressive because they do not understand the good of being a man without apology. I know one thing...my sons are not gonna be a buncha weak-kneed, namby-pamby, squeaky-voice, sitcom-dad types of guys. They are going to be man who if they are verbally bashed, can still strive to be real men -- like Jesus.

Happy Mother's day, Mom!
From your son, the man.
MYGUIDE
5/13/2007 4:14 AM
It is a sad fact that most children never get to see their dads or even sleep in the same house with them. Mothers are responsible for being the primary care for children. I guess any time women are praised, it means men are being bashed. Men need to step up more and I beleive there will be less bad news for them. Society is not making up the stories, reality speaks for itself.
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