by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Matthew 18:21,22
Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

With these words, Jesus Christ formed one of the most exclusive clubs in the world-the "Seventy-Times-Seven Club." He wants you to forgive each other an infinite number of times, not just when you feel like it. By an act of your will, you must put away resentment and the desire to punish the person who has wronged you.

Families can't function without forgiveness. Living together in close quarters means we inevitably have our toes stepped on. But forgiveness is hard for some people, partly because of several misconceptions about what it involves.

Here are some things forgiveness isn't:

Forgiveness isn't excusing or condoning sin. It doesn't involve changing your attitude about right and wrong.

Forgiveness doesn't require forgetting a person's sin. God has that power, but we do not. Forgiveness means that even though you remember the hurt, you give up the need to punish the other person.

Forgiveness doesn't require denying your pain, hurt or anger. It may take time for your feelings to catch up and begin to fall in line with your decision to forgive.

Similarly, forgiveness doesn't mean stuffing your grief. There is genuine pain due to hurt. It may take time for the wound to heal, even though you forgive the person who offended you.

Forgiveness doesn't always mean instant and full reconciliation. Even when you forgive, it can take time and effort by both parties to rebuild trust.

Now that I've discussed what forgiveness is not, I'll look next at what it is.

Prayer:

That a spirit of willingness to forgive will be stronger in your marriage relationship than the desire to nurse hurt feelings and punish each other.

Discuss: Which of these misconceptions about forgiveness have you or your mate believed? How have they hurt your relationship?

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