Christian Foundations
DEVOTIONAL ARCHIVE
by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
This passage shows that the ultimate level of communication, in which we know fully as we are known, is reserved for heaven. But by God's grace, we can begin to reverse "The Great Cover-Up" even in this life-by growing in our ability to be vulnerable, open and transparent with those we love. Like most skills, you have to start at the bottom and work up to transparency. Author John Powell described this process in his excellent book Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? He observed five stages or levels of communication.
Most people start at level five-sharing mere clichTs. We might call this "elevator talk," in which you speak, but share nothing: "Hello, how are you?" and "Have a nice day."
Moving up to the fourth level involves sharing facts. You are willing to report what you know, or what so-and-so said, but you share nothing of yourself.
At level three, people reveal opinions-their ideas, judgments and viewpoints. At this level you finally start to come out of your shell and reveal a little of who you are. You risk disagreement or even rejection, so you are very careful at this stage, ready to retreat.
You begin to share emotions at level two. Now you are definitely coming out of the closet and letting the other person know just what you are feeling. Again, this is risky business and you must be careful not to hurt each other, but it is an essential step if families are to live beyond superficiality.
Level one is transparency-being completely open with each other, sharing the real you, from the heart. Of course this level of communication requires a large amount of trust and commitment. When you reach the transparency level, you can begin to know even as you are known.
As you pray, think of how intimately God knows you. Ask Him to help your family members grow in their abilities to really know and accept each other.
Discuss: Compare how you rated your family's level of communication in yesterday's devotional with the five stages described here. Discuss how you can move toward deeper, more meaningful communication.
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