Open and Shut
If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver; but if she is a door, we will barricade her with planks of cedar. SONG OF SOLOMON 8:9
As parents, one of our responsibilities is to protect the sexual purity of our children. This verse from Song of Solomon provides an interesting insight when it equates sisters with “walls” or “doors.” Those who are “walls” remain pure—they are not open to peer pressure. Their sense of sexual morality is held firmly in place. But those who are “doors” are flirtatious, prone to get emotionally involved too quickly. They’re easily manipulated by someone of the opposite sex.
If you have a daughter who’s a wall, honor her purity. Give her the “silver” of your praise, as the verse above says. Don’t overlook her or take her integrity for granted. Instead, celebrate her steadfast morals. Cheer her on. But if she’s a door—one who seems more susceptible to being opened by the advances of young men—the Lord tells us to build a cedar barricade—hard, strong and durable—around her. Not a barricade of rules (although you’ll need some of those, too) but a barricade of love, of relationship. The kind that says, “I care about you and what you’re going to experience as a young lady someday in your marriage bed, so let’s chat about this regularly as you become a woman.”
Spend lots of time with her. Stay involved in her life. Get to know her friends. Ask questions about what’s going on. Ask God for wisdom in building the “barricade . . . with planks of cedar.” Your goal is to one day present your daughters to their husbands as young women unstained, untouched by evil. In giving them a healthy view of their own sexuality, you’re preparing them for the day when God says it’s time to awaken those desires.
Think about each of your children. Do they tend to be walls or doors? Begin to discuss practical ways you can help them be walls.
Pray daily for the sexual purity of all your children—for the pleasures of virtue they are saving for their marriage.