The Kind of Friend I Need
By Ed Uszynski
I went to lunch with a close friend to vent about an argument Amy and I were mired in.
As hoped, he totally related. Empathized with wisdom. Totally in alignment with why she was wrong and I was right.
Then he asked how I was going to apologize.
“Excuse me? Have I just completely misunderstood the bro-hug moment I thought we were having here? What do you mean, ‘apologize’?”
“Easy,” he said. “She’s 95% wrong. You need to go home and own the 5% where you were clearly wrong.”
I wanted to toss my drink in his face. Total violation of understood man-code: “You can’t take my side and hers at the same time.”
Except I knew he was right.
Not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.
I desperately need friends who will save me from myself by not letting me wallow in self-centered pity or justification, who will challenge me to listen to the Spirit of God and not just the spirit of Ed.
So go ahead and get it out with someone—keeping in mind “A fool gives full vent to his spirit” (Proverbs 29:11).
Just make sure you’re dumping your thoughts on friends who know how to sift through your words like scientists digging through and studying piles of dinosaur poop in Jurassic Park.
Somewhere in that pile is the truth I need to hear, and I need men who will not only place it in front of me, but also encourage me to do the right thing with it.
Who are your friends who will do that for you? Thank them.
Don’t have any? Time to get some—and ask for that kind of push back.
Pray today that God would bring someone to mind who can process your marriage with you in this season of life.
Someone who will empathize, but also help you grow and discern the next right step.
Could something be standing in the way of your friendships?
The Good Stuff: Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:6)
Action Points: Who’s got your back? More importantly, who’s got your back in marriage? Actively seek friendships that speak truth in love when you need it most.
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