Living Free - October 25, 2011


You Messages vs. I Messages

Today's Scripture

"Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out." Colossians 4:6 MSG

Thoughts for Today

Communicating with I-messages rather than you-messages is one key to successful communication in marriage and in any relationship.

You-messages sound like this: You just don't care … You are a problem … Can't you…? … You are sooo …

I-messages deal with facts. They convey what you feel or how your spouse's behavior is affecting you. Here are some examples: I feel very angry because … I feel rejected because … I feel hurt because …

Consider this …

I-messages communicate honesty and openness. The Bible teaches us to build up, not tear down. When we use I-messages, we are less likely to harm our marriage relationship since we aren't attacking our spouse's self-esteem. We are being gracious in our speech.


Father, help me to be more gracious in communicating with my spouse. Help me to build up and not tear down. In Jesus' name .....…

These thoughts were drawn from …

Committed Couples: God's Plan for Marriage & the Familyby Dr. Jimmy Ray Lee. Whether in a private or group setting, couples will be encouraged spiritually and romantically as they research biblical principles that affirm their vows. This book can help every married couple grow spiritually and emotionally in their relationship. It is also a great help for engaged-to-be-married couples.

Would you like to have these devotions appear daily on your church or ministry website? Learn More


PO Box 22127 ~ Chattanooga, Tennessee 37421 ~ 423-899-4770
© Living Free 2007. Living Free is a registered trademark. Living Free Every Day devotionals may be reproduced for personal use. When reproduced to share with others, please acknowledge the source as Living Free, Chattanooga, TN. Must have written permission to use in any format to be sold. Permission may be requested by sending e-mail to
[email protected].

  • Editors' Picks

    Stop Trying to Read the Bible in a Year!
    Stop Trying to Read the Bible in a Year!
  • The God of All Weather
    The God of All Weather
  • Does Islam Promote Violence?
    Does Islam Promote Violence?