"With all your heart you must trust the LORD and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow. Don't ever think that you are wise enough." - Proverbs 3:5-7 CEV
Thoughts for Today
Yesterday we looked at "The Three Cs" for overcoming codependency. In thinking about our loved one's life-controlling problems, we must realize that we didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it. Yesterday we discussed "cause." Today we will deal with "control" and tomorrow "cure."
No matter how much we may want to, we cannot control our loved one's behavior.
It is common for codependents to feel a need to control their loved one's problem by covering up for them or keeping them out of trouble. Trying to control through manipulation, domination, and guilt only leads to a greater loss of energy.
We need to understand that we cannot fix our loved one--instead, we should let go of trying to play God. Accepting the fact of powerlessness over our loved one is the first step toward recovery from codependence.
Consider this …
If you are trying to control a loved one's behavior, consider today's scripture. God tells us to trust Him and not ourselves. When we try to "fix" or control or manipulate, we are interfering with God's plan. Turn to Jesus. Turn to prayer. And then trust Him to give you wisdom. Trust Him to deliver your loved one.
Father, I am weary from trying to figure this out on my own, from trying to control my loved one's behavior. And it isn't doing any good. In fact, things seem to be getting worse. Help me to trust You and not my own judgment. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from …Concerned Persons: Because We Need Each Other by Jimmy Ray Lee, D.Min. This group is designed for the many people who have a current or past relationship with a person who has a life-controlling problem.
- It emphasizes the need we all have for each other.
- It helps people focus on Christ rather than on the problem.
- It serves as a powerful evangelistic tool by providing a way to minister to people's felt needs and then pointing them to Christ.
Note: This curriculum was written especially for small groups, and we encourage people to use it that way. However, it can also be used effectively as a study for individuals or couples.
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