Paul is not asking us to be stoic, to simply shake off the evil done to us as if it doesn't matter. Hatred cuts deep, and the wounds can linger for years. But if we are going to follow Jesus, we have no choice. We will either curse or bless when we are mistreated. Our only hope of not cursing is to bless instead. We must bless others in order to keep from cursing them. As long as we curse our enemies, we are trying to do God's work for him. God can take care of his own work without any help from us.

Here is the fourth and final principle. True love leads to...

The New King James says that we are to "rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (v. 15). Eugene Peterson offers this version: "Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down" (MSG). Here we have the extremes of life.

Sometimes we are on top of the world.
Sometimes we are in the pit.

When your friends are happy, rejoice with them. If your friend gets a good score on his SAT, if she celebrates a birthday, if he gets a promotion, if they have a baby, if their daughter graduates from high school, if their grandson scores two touchdowns, laugh with them, cheer with them, smile with them. Share their joy. Don't be a party pooper or a Negative Nelly or a Sulking Sam. Life is hard enough for all of us. When those moments of victory come, share their joy. And don't mutter under your breath, "They don't deserve it." Of course they don't. None of deserve any of the blessings we receive from the Lord. It's all of grace. But oh, how sad to go through life as a crotchety, mean-spirited grump who douses water on the happiness of others. Rejoice with those who rejoice.

When our friends weep, take time to weep with them. I remember reading an interview Frank Sinatra gave shortly before he died. "What do you do when the woman you love is crying?" "I cry with her," Sinatra replied. That's certainly a wise answer. Often the tears of others frighten us. Real emotion, raw emotion, scares us so we tend to run away from it. Or we offer empty platitudes ("Things will get better." "God will take care of you." "Everything is going to work out.") It's certainly true that God will take care of those who suffer, but even a verse like Romans 8:28 can seem like cold comfort when the doctor says, "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do." Sometimes the best we can do is simply to weep with our friends in the hour of great sadness.

To do this rightly-to both rejoice and to weep-requires that we not keep the world at arm's length. As long as we don't let anyone get too close to us, this verse won't apply to us. By definition you have to walk close enough with people so that we know when they are rejoicing or weeping. If we keep them on the other side of the street, we can wave in the distance, and keep on driving while listening to our favorite music on our iPod. We can't obey this verse long-distance. And we can't do if we stay super busy.

We all need someone to laugh and to cry with us. So greatly do we need this that we will do almost anything to get it. If we can't find this sort of friendship in the church, we'll go somewhere else. That's the point Chuck Swindoll's friend was making about going to the bar. We will go anywhere and pay almost any price to find someone who will care about what we are doing through.

That's what brotherly love is all about... being there! Just being there.

When I pastored in California, I became friends with a man who had been a policeman for seven or eight years. Pretty tough cop. Got himself into and out of a number of jams. Ended up retiring from the force because of physical injuries suffered on the job. He told me stories that back then I found hard to believe. Now I have come to understand that he wasn't exaggerating at all. When he came to Christ, his life was transformed.

One day he came to see me at the church and said, "Ray, do you know what the word hell-hole means? That's what the world is like out there beyond these four walls. You wouldn't believe the stuff that goes on-the lying, the violence, the dishonesty, the misrepresentation, the abuse of power, the profanity, stuff you can't even imagine."

And then he said, "I live six days a week so I can come to church on Sunday. When I cross the street, I say to myself, ‘Ahh, I've made it.'"

To do this rightly - to both rejoice and to weep - requires that we not keep the world at arm's length.  

That's what the world desperately needs and can't seem to find . . . an oasis in a spiritual desert . .  . a place where they can find relief . . . a group of people who truly love each other . . . a place where they can connect with God and with people who will help them on their journey . . . a place of healing and hope and real change.

Here is God's dream for every church. That through preaching the gospel men and women everywhere can experience the life-changing power of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And to be the kind of place where, no matter what kind of week you've had, you can come in and say, "Ahh, I've made it."

Where should we begin? Since we are the church, the answer always starts with us. I remind you of the prayer of a Chinese Christian, "Oh Lord, change the world. Begin, I pray, with me."

Our Father, thank you for calling us out of the world and into your family.

Teach us what it means to truly love each other. We pray that your love might unite us and that your Spirit might break down the barriers that separate us.

May we be a people with a loving purpose-

            -Quick to give to those in need,
            -Eager to reach out to strangers,
            -Ready to bless our enemies,
            -Rejoicing with those who rejoice,
            -Weeping with those who weep.

Fill us to overflowing with your love so that the world may see Jesus in us.

We pray this in his name, Amen.