Why People Don't Recover

The reasons why people do not seek help for their problems are as many and varied as the people themselves. But here are some of the common obstacles to pursuing and maintaining recovery:

1.  Problem behavior attracts longed-for attention.
2.  The pain isn’t great enough—yet.
3.  Fear of launching into the unknown.
4.  Someone is enabling the addiction (message to the enabler: stop it!)
5.  Fear of exposure. Guilt is private but shame is public. The only answer is openness and making amends for the past. This resolves the guilt and robs shame of its power.
6.  Pride.
7.  “Praying for a miracle” when God wants you to take some action.
8.  Seeking a quick fix.
9.  Despair. 
10.  Physiological or biochemical dependency.
11.  Fear of failure.
12.  Fear of rejection.
13.  Fear of change.
14.  Running from reality.
15.  False sense of happiness. During an episode of addictive behavior, everything feels great.
16.  False sense of power.
17.  Fear of insanity if separated from your fix.

In recovery you need power to fight back the temptations that threaten you on every side. There is no power within yourself that is up to the task. You need a higher power, a power outside yourself. You need the power of the Creator of the Universe. You need the power of Jesus Christ.

Where do you find him? Ultimately you find God in his revealed word, the Bible. You will not escape your obsessions or compulsions until you place your faith in Him.

You must guard yourself against philosophies that run counter to the word of God, philosophies that sound attractive but that in fact turn you away from spiritual reality. Many people today tell us "we are all God." This is a dangerous concept for two reasons. One, it robs us of the knowledge of who God really is. And two, it puts us back in the very spot that got us into trouble in the first place: trying to be God. Have we not already tried to run the world, and found how pathetically inadequate we are to the task?

But there is a God who can run the world, and who can be trusted to watch over our lives as well. This is the God who created all that is, who created us, who loves us and longs to be Lord of our lives. He has revealed himself in the pages of the Bible. Recovery depends on your opening your mind, heart, and will to his loving care.

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The above piece is an adaptation from When You Love Too Much: Walking the Road to Healthy Intimacy, by Steve Arterburn.  Ventura, Regal, 2004. Used with permission.
Stephen Arterburn is the founder of New Life Ministries, the largest provider of Christian counseling and treatment in North America. As host of the daily New Life Live! radio program, he is heard nationally on over one hundred and eighty stations and at www.newlife.com. Steve is the lead speaker at The New Life Weekend, a conference with specialty programs for Marriage, Anger, Fear, Boundaries, Depression, Weight Loss, Abuse, and Forgiveness. Steve is also the creator of Women of Faith® Conferences and the author/coauthor of over fifty books, including Healing is a Choice, Lose it For Life, The God of Second Chances, Every Man’s Battle, Avoiding Mr. Wrong, Reframe Your Life, and Midlife Manual for Men.
New Life Ministries serves the emotional, spiritual, and physical needs of those across the country. Founded by Steve Arterburn, New Life provides biblical, Christ-centered advice though the New Life Live! radio program, weekend workshops and more. Visit www.NewLife.com for more.

Original publication date: May 29, 2009