A friend once told me about a business executive whose purpose in life is to "get to heaven and take as many people with me as I can." Wow! I wish I were like that, but I'm not.

All my life, I've had a monkey on my back. I can never escape the questions. "Are you witnessing for the Lord?" "When is the last time you shared your faith?" "If they don't hear about Jesus from you, who are they going to hear it from?"

I flunk every one of those questions. Can I really be a Christian? As much as I want God's approval, I have never brought myself to "witness" to anybody I didn't know. I'm chicken.

My mom was chicken too. When she was in the last months of her life after a long bout with breast cancer, I visited her in her hospital room late one night. It was quiet, except for the hiss of the oxygen flowing through the tube. I was bent over her bed, holding her hand, when I noticed a silent tear slip down her cheek. I whispered, "Hey, what's the matter? What are these tears for?"

"I've never talked to anyone about their soul," she said with a touch of shame. There was my mom—a selfless, godly, little old lady, not sure she would make it through the night—worried that she had failed at evangelism. She was fighting the monkey on her back.

Do you fight that monkey? If you're an evangelical, you probably do.

Somewhere along the line, you've sat in a church and heard a pastor tell about how he plopped down in an airplane seat next to a total stranger and, before the plane had landed, the stranger had become a Christian. The moral of the story? You can do it too! That's what is implied, anyway.

Well, maybe you can, but my bet is you won't. Even more, I'll bet the guy beside you on the plane will be better off if you don't try.

Am I promoting heresy? Absolutely not! Here's why.

Studies by the Barna Research Group show that most adults become Christians today through the influence of trusted friends. Yes, there are times when God orchestrates a meeting between a broken sinner and a gifted evangelist that leads to a conversion. But that's not what happens in the lives of most Christians, day by day.

If people live in America and they aren't Christians, it's for a reason. They've heard the gospel, but they haven't bought it. Whether they truly understand it is irrelevant. The fact is they have no felt need for God. They thrive on self-sufficiency. They don't need God, and they don't have time to think about it.

That's true until there's a disruption, such as an illness, unemployment, a failing marriage, a child in crisis, or a serious accident.

Then people realize they are not in control. If they know intuitively that there is a Creator behind this creation, they sense a need to connect to their Creator, who is in control.

Now, where are they going to look to find that connection? To a trusted friend. And that's where you and I come in. That's where we all come in.

We aren't all evangelists, but we all have friends, and we all know how to be friends. If we will build real, meaningful friendships with the unbelievers in our lives, we can be the people they call on when disruption happens.

I'll probably always struggle with telling a total stranger about Jesus, but I can answer a friend's questions about my own faith all day long. I can tell them about my disruption event, and I can tell them firsthand what Jesus Christ has done in my life since then. I'm like the blind man Jesus healed. I don't know all the answers, but "this thing I know"—I was blind and now I can see. I am not afraid to tell my story. No one can dispute my story because I saw it happen. Nor can anyone dispute your story.

Over generations, we have distorted the meaning of the word witness. Scripture instructs us to be "witnesses" to what Christ has done for us and to be ready to give a defense of our faith. We turned "being a witness" into "witnessing." We changed something you are into something you do. That's a mistake. God wants us to trust in Him and pursue an intimate relationship with Him. As we go down the road together, we will see Him work in our lives and our circumstances.

And when a trusted friend gets in trouble, all you are responsible for doing is telling about your Savior and what He did for you when you were in trouble. God does the rest. We're promised that the Holy Spirit will speak through us, that we don't have to worry about our words. All we have to do is initiate the conversation, to open our mouths, and God will provide the words (Luke 21:14-15).

Even more exciting, we don't have to sweat the outcome. Our unbelieving friends are going to come to Christ only when He draws them to Himself (John 6:44). We just have to tell our story.

So how do you get rid of the monkey? Here are two things for you to do to shake him off your back.

First, make a list of all the people you know who you suspect aren't Christians. You won't know for sure, but based on things they have said and the way they've reacted to you or other Christians at work or in your neighborhood, your bet is that they don't know Jesus Christ.

Now start being a better friend to them. Be intentional. Listen to them when they talk. Be more sensitive in how you respond to them, making sure they feel your loveand your acceptance. Serve them when you get the chance. Help them with things when they need help. Most important, pray for them, consistently and passionately.

If you'll intentionally love, serve, and pray for the non-Christians in your life, the monkey will go into deep hibernation. He won't bug you anymore. You'll forget that he's there. But he won't go away until something else happens.

Someday, probably sooner than you think, disruption will come into the life of someone on your list, and you'll get to do the second thing: tell your story.

You'll be right there with them in their crisis. And the opportunity will jump right into your lap. Will you step up? Will you tell your story? Will you talk about your Savior and what He did for you when you faced disruption? The monkey will show up, bigger and heavier than ever. What will you do?

If you'll step out there and tell your friend your story, the monkey will go away forever. You'll have glorified God. You'll have built a relationship for a kingdom purpose, and you'll have been a witness for our Lord.

And what may surprise you more than anything else is that you may have made a friend who will be like none other in your life. Doesn't the person who first guided you to faith stand out in your mind? You can be that person for someone in your life!

I think it's time that all Christians shake the monkey off their backs. It's easier than most people think. It just requires some intentionality, some prayer, and exercising the friendship skills we all have.