Back in 1999, 13-year-old Emily Chapman, daughter of Grammy Award-winning musician Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, began a campaign to convince her parents to adopt a baby from China. She never dreamed it would be this successful! Five years and three Chinese children later, the Chapmans are one of thousands of Christian families who have discovered the blessings of international adoption. Shaohannah, 5, Stevey Joy, 2, and 1-year-old Maria have joined Emily, now 19, Caleb, 15, and Will Franklin, 14, to make the Chapmans' Nashville home a center of exuberant—and seemingly nonstop—activity.

Adoption is obviously a life-altering process for the adopted child, but we don't always hear much about how the adoptive family is changed and shaped as they open their home and hearts to a child. For the Chapmans, the move from being a family of five to one of eight has brought unforeseen blessings. Steven and Mary Beth say that parenting a second set of children has given them a whole new understanding of who they are as parents and their real role in the lives of their children.

"We have some perspective we didn't have before," says Steven. "When our older kids cried at night, I'd think, I'll be sleep-deprived my entire life! Then all of a sudden, that's gone and the kids are hardly around. So now, when Stevey's crying at night, I know it will pass."

Adopted children, especially those who have spent time in institutional settings, often have unique needs, a fact that has moved the Chapmans to make some bigger philosophical changes in their parenting as well. "With an adopted child," Mary Beth notes, "you throw all the rules out the window. For example, because of attachment issues, when an adopted child cries out at night, you go to her every time. Shaoey needs to know I'm always going to be there for her. That's stuff we never would have done with our biological children."

The Chapmans have also found that parenting the second time has been much more relaxed than the first go around. Steven says, "With our first three kids, Mary Beth thought she had to do it all, but now she knows she can't. The house is going to be a wreck, and we can either stress about it or sit on the floor and play with the girls."

Adds Mary Beth, "We're more aware of how little control we have over how our kids turn out. We made so many mistakes with our other kids, but fortunately they've turned out great. We know God is in charge of this process; we just need to do the best we can."

Because adoption can involve issues such as past abuse, attachment disorder, or physical or mental impairment, families inclined to adopt often are wary of the impact these issues might have on their other children. Certainly bringing another child into a family is always an upheaval. And the extra demands of an adopted child typically lead to that child getting what may seem to the other children to be more than their share of parental affection and attention. But the Chapmans have found that the positive impact on their biological children far outweighs any negative results.

"When we told them we were adopting a second child, they were so excited," Steven recalls. "You'd have thought I'd told them we were going to live at Disney World!"

Mary Beth continues, "Still, even though they can't articulate it this way, they know that with every child we bring into our home, we're splitting their inheritance, not to mention our time and attention. But somehow they understand that on a spiritual level, God is changing their hearts. Most kids today live in a self-centered culture that plays into their 'I want, I need' attitude. Our children have been confronted with the fact that life isn't just about their agendas-it's about God's agenda. They don't always like that, but this experience is teaching them that their wants and needs aren't the most important thing in the world."

But along with the blessings of adoption come tremendous challenges. The idea that all a child needs is a loving home and everything else will take care of itself is a myth that can set families up for painful disappointment, warn the Chapmans.