"That was when I realized how bad it really was," she says softly.

For five years, Sarah has had to cope with the trauma she experienced. She was particularly affected by the death of Dave Sanders, who had coached softball, basketball, and track—all sports in which Sarah participated. "He saved so many lives because he stayed and made sure everyone got out of the cafeteria," she says. "He is a hero, because he cared for the safety of his students."

What caused Harris and Klebold to act as they did? Sarah can't begin to understand the motivation, but she says with certainty, "When people don't have the Lord, evil can creep into their lives."

The years since then have been difficult. "It was hard to return to school and go back to classes where students were missing." To Sarah, Columbine felt more like a crime scene than her school. The year following the shootings was mired in even more tragedy.

"It was just an awful year," Sarah recalls. "Two students were murdered on Valentine's Day [by robbers at a fast–food restaurant], and one of our basketball players committed suicide that spring. I had thought it was over, and it would all be downhill from April 20th, but it seemed like things were getting harder. I was afraid that bad things were going to keep happening. I had nightmares, and I still have them once in a while."

After the shootings, Sarah wasn't sure life would ever be normal again. She remembers asking her mother, "Will I ever be happy?"

Sarah credits God for getting her through the ordeal, and her faith in the subsequent years has sustained her. "He has done so much healing in my life," she says. "God has given me much joy and peace. I have seen good things come out of April 20, 1999. The girl that I had thought about while I was in the choir room office, she accepted Christ soon after that. She realized that she didn't have hope, and she began coming to Bible club. Her new faith is a really neat thing that has come out of the tragedy."

Another good thing is that Sarah is able to identify with other people who have struggled through loss or who have experienced frightening times. Her experience enables her to understand those who are hurting. "Because this happened at my school, people ask me questions and listen to what I have to say. That has given me a lot of opportunities to tell people about the hope that I have, even through hard times."

Before April 20, 1999, Sarah wanted to be a missionary, and she still does. Today, she is a junior in college, but her testimony about her experiences has seemingly already begun her work as a missionary.

"I have to make the most of the time that I have, to live for Christ while I'm here and to take the opportunities that I have to tell other people about Him and to show them God's love, because I don't know how long they have, either."

Sarah recalls the time immediately following the shootings. "When I asked my mom if I'd ever be happy again, she said, 'Yes.' And she was right."

Article Update:
Sarah married a former Columbine student, Andrew Perlman in July of 2005. She currently works for Denver Public Schools with the department of Planning and Assessment. She is also working on a master's degree in education and plans to teach social studies at the secondary level. As a teacher, Sarah hopes to reach out to young people and show them that they matter.

Sarah is deeply saddened by the recent massacre at Virginia Tech. Her heart breaks for the families and friends of the innocent victims of this horrific event. "This tragedy again reminds us of the power of frustration, loneliness, and unresolved anger in a person's life," Sarah says. "As Christians, we must reach out to those who don't 'fit in' and take the first step to show them friendship and compassion."