On the radio, popular songs declare the thrills of casual sex. On the Internet, pop-up windows beckon Web surfers to erotic destinations. The fashion world touts midriff-baring designs, while prime-time TV rolls out one sexual innuendo after another.
Today's adolescents must navigate this cultural morass just at a time when hormonal surges and emerging feelings are making life confusing enough. But what happens when faith gets thrown into the mix? How does being a Christian affect a teenager's perceptions and responses in this sex-drenched society?
Much has been written lately about abstinence education and how more teens are choosing not to have sex.
Still, polls and studies only tell part of the story. Despite signs that things are improving, the reality of sexual temptation remains—and Christian young people are not inoculated against these pressures. Hearing their voices, in fact, suggests that their plight might be even more precarious than their non-Christian counterparts:
"I know the Bible says you can't have sex before marriage. But why can't you, if you're in love with the person? It doesn't feel wrong. —Kendra, 14
"My boyfriend and I don't want to mess around anymore. But how do we keep this commitment? I never realized how powerful passion can be." —Shari, 15
"Kids at school are pressuring me and my girlfriend to have sex. I want to wait until marriage, but I worry about how this makes me look." —Darryl, 17
"I feel cut off from God. I want to do what's right, but I can't seem to. Recently I had sex with a guy, thinking that it would bring us closer. I know now that was a mistake, and I feel totally ashamed." —Aimee, 16
A lot of Christian teens are having sex and suffering painful, sometimes devastating consequences. Meanwhile, those not having sex are thinking a lot about it, many of them wavering between fear and curiosity.
Parents, youth pastors, and other concerned adults might hope that the influence of biblical principles on their young would help them withstand the onslaughts of peer pressure, physical longings, and conflicting signals from secular voices ("Don't have sex, but when you do, use a condom"), but the several teens who spoke candidly with
At 17, John was a handsome and energetic high school senior with a charming smile and winning personality. Popular for his athletic prowess, he had learned that such recognition brought with it certain expectations.
"Of course, there was always a lot of pressure to have sex, from teammates and other kids," he says. "I was a football player, you know. And the girls—they really come after you. But the Bible is clear. No sex till marriage."
Now 18 and studying business administration in college, John says the main thing that helps him maintain a biblical standard of purity is a steadfast emphasis on his objectives. "I haven't given into drugs, alcohol, or premarital sex because I see where indulging has taken a lot of my peers," he says. "You have to stay prayed up and know what you want out of life. You don't want to limit yourself. Having babies or getting AIDS is not on your route. If you're focused on your goals, peer pressure shouldn't faze you."